Oscars night is only fun if there is a way in, a secret entrance that allows you to participate in the experience. Assuming you’re priced out of Dior, or off social media, one way is by owning a bit of the Oscars goody bag. And that bit is some Goop-endorsed, very expensive (£625) loo roll kit.
What makes this loo roll so special? It comes in a leather case which explains the price (up to a point) and, says maker Joseph’s Toiletries, “is based on treating the bottom the same way one would treat any other part of the body: cleansing and hydrating.” Go on. “Health consciousness and the quality of skincare evolved in every other aspect of modern living except toilet hygiene,” explains CEO Sabrina Risch, who specialises in high-end toilet paraphernalia.
“Frankly speaking, it is surprising that we meticulously cleanse and take care of each part of our body, but still dry-rub our bottoms with paper.” She has a point, albeit one we’ve never really thought about.
The kits comes with some lovely sounding lotions and potions, and (this is key) “can be used dry or wet, together with the treatments, while being fully flushable”. Good news for septic tanks and bums alike, then. Happy Oscars night, everyone!
