The 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids

Brian Corcoran sets the wheels in motion this week: 'The FA's former sales team soon got snapped up by somebody else peddling unwanted junk'
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'It's all in a day's work for Fifa,' chirps Jonnathan Toro
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Jonnathan's clearly been swapping notes with Peter Hands
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The bizarrely named Old Bean Alex delves into Andy Anson's revenge-ridden mind
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Tom Nycz-Losi psychoanalyses our antihero: 'Lost amid the furore of the 2018 decision was the announcement that the 2026 tournament will be held on Sepp Blatter's giant ego. Rumours that the 2030 World Cup will be held up his arse are however unsubstantiated ...'
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'Never mind the Blatters, there's always 2038,' reveals Ray Weiss
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'Joining Sepp in the draw are two of the greatest, ahem, Qatar players of all time, Eric Clapton and Pete Townshend.' This terrible pun can be blamed on Stephen McGowan
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'Agent Beckham tracks down the evil Blattfeld to his Swiss lair with dire consequences,' reports Jason Froggett
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Doesn't the future King of England make a worryingly believable Austin Powers? This effort comes courtesy of Paul Berry
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'Our campaign was led by Bob Hope and no hope,' chirps John Paul Barry as he explains why England's bid really failed
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And finally ... yes, we know it's not Sepp Blatter. But Douglas Fenech's entry for the defunct Alex Gallery was too good not to make the cut
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