Plastic bottle of Diet Coke
Served with french fries, and a reminder that you once tweeted “I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke”.
Fish Delight
Your purported favourite item on the McDonald’s menu, even though McDonald’s has never sold anything called a Fish Delight.
KFC Bargain Bucket, gravy
To be eaten alone on a private jet, from a cardboard plate, with a silver knife and fork, while staring into a camera like a radioactive Chucky doll.
Taco bowl
Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics! https://t.co/ufoTeQd8yA pic.twitter.com/k01Mc6CuDI
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 5, 2016
Show the world that you love Hispanic people by eating a bracingly inauthentic Mexican dish that was brought to you by people who work in the restaurant in the basement of your golden skyscraper.
Trump Grill filet mignon
“Overcooked and mealy, with an ugly strain of pure fat running through it … slumped to the side over the potatoes like a dead body inside a T-boned minivan” – Tina Nguyen, Vanity Fair.
Young garlic soup with thyme and sautéed frog legs
To be eaten unironically after running a campaign largely centred around reaching out to white working-class men who have become disillusioned by out-of-touch elitists.
Skittles, bowl
Warning: three of these Skittles will kill you. Please, take a handful.
Tic Tacs
Just in case you start kissing her. Because when you’re a star, they let you do it.
£500 per person
An optional 12.5% service charge will be added to your bill if you also require photographic evidence of your dining companion looking humiliated and sheepish to be seen in public with you.
