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Glasgow Live
Glasgow Live
National
Amy Duffy

The 11 roasters you're guaranteed to meet at a Hogmanay party in Glasgow

Here in Glasgow we might not have a fancy street party like the capital but we can certainly hold our own with the Hogmanay celebrations and here in the west we love any excuse for a night out.

We know how to put that extra bank holiday on January 2 to good use - because New Year is a time to push it as far as you can.

And even though it's always a laugh, there are always certain types of punters in Glasgow on Hogmanay, whether that's out at the pub or at a house party.

READ MORE: The Glasgow Hogmanay traditions that are at risk of dying out

Here's just some of them...

The Party Animal

Hogmanay is just another standard night out to this degenerate, but at least they blend in a bit more at this time of year. They've probably been on it since Christmas and won't make it home until the second at the earliest.

The Anti-New Year Brigade

How do you know this guy hates New Year? Because he'll tell you. Much like that vegan mate who never tires of bragging that they only eat fair trade organic produce (nobody cares!) this bore will tell anyone that will listen that Hogmanay is always a letdown, and it's rubbish, and 'did I tell you I'm doing Veganuary?'

The Randoms

Where did they come from? Did they just hear the music and chance it? Or is some walloper giving out your address at the end of Optimo? Either way, we've all been that random - let's be honest. Ideally they'll justify their presence with good chat and fresh supplies, but there's always the possibility they'll just hide in the corner drinking your beer.

The Professional

Aye, it's good to be organised, but this uptight maniac takes having fun to previously-unseen levels of military precision. Tickets for the day session, the club and the after-party? Bought months ago. Massive carry-out back in the flat for later? Sorted. Dirty looks cos you haven't been as on it as they have? Guaranteed.

The Disorganised One

The polar opposite of The Professional, this clown has ignored every warning that the party is selling out fast and is now posting hopelessly optimistic messages on FB asking if anyone has any spares. They've also not got any booze in their bit either. Nice one, Graham. Every single year, ya helmet.

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The Shandy

He's not a big partier, but it's New Year so he's making an effort. Sadly, he's going to be completely blootered by 9pm and it'll be your job to look after him. He might be sick, he might try and fight you or get aff with you. Or he might just be a roaring pain in the a*se all night. Enjoy.

The Taxi Girl

She's either trying to be sensible or has somewhere better to go, but this lassie will spend the entire night in your gaff asking you to phone the taxi company again for her as they said it would only be half an hour and there's been three already. It's Hogmanay ya weapon! There are no taxis. Calm doon.

The Greeter

Every party has to have one. Sitting in the kitchen, bawling their eyes oot at what is usually absolutely nothing. Also expect to have to go find their keys/purse/phone at some point. Come on, Joanne. You're too good for him anyway. Take a drink.

The Resolver

All night long, this dreamer's chat will be about how this year is going to be different and they are getting their act together for sure. They totally believe it too, even as they are going round getting a collection for Dial-a-Booze at 6am.

The Ones Who Won't Leave

The party equivalent of the wee boys at the window in Salem's Lot, this pair (they always come in pairs) will make themselves at home in your flat and never, ever leave. They might nip out for another cargo, but they won't take the hint and go home with it. Is there anything worse than waking up at nighttime on January 1 feeling like death to find a pair of absolute mingers still in your kitchen? No. No there is not.

Article first published on December 31, 2017.

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