American comedian EB White once said that analysing humour was like dissecting a frog, writes James Anthony. Few people are interested, and the frog dies of it. But that's exactly what our crack team had to do, and what you are about to endure. Analysis of humour, that is. Culture Vulture is not about to subject you to wanton frog vivisection.
Two weeks ago, we asked you to take our minds off the sweltering heat, by sending us samples of your wonderful wit in our Funny Farm competition. We received a deluge of over 50 scripts, audio clips, screenplays, stand-up routines, sketches, and a veritable party bag of comedy in formats we didn't even ask for. After laughter, and a few tears, we were left with a final shortlist of three ...
In at three, even though he sent us three scripts when we called for one, was Rory Harden with his sketch, Orders Which Must Be Obeyed.
In this satirical masterpiece, a government minister briefs the country on new legislation, summed up tidily with strings of acronyms. Hilariously, these acronyms all spelled out something ironic. The sketch was able to reach the dizzying heights of "top three" status with gems such as the BILBO (the Believing In Legendary Bollocks Order), the JACKO (the Just Adoring Cute Kids Order), and the Grabbing Un-Armed Non-Threatening Arab Nationals And Muslims Order (you get the idea). Read the script here.
At two was the comedy entity known as Pegabovine, with their MP3, Right the First Time. Listen to it here.
A voice-over artist is called in to do an advert for World of Leather. Performing the voice-over, you guessed it, right the first time, he is then made to do it again and again due to traffic noise. The increasingly irate chap descends into a series of malapropisms, resulting in delights like "sofas, armchairs, stools, chaise lounge" becoming "loofas, arseholes, sticks, Che Guevara", and "Sidcup, Croydon and now Tottenham Hale" becoming "sicknote, condom, and now tickling a quail". Ha!
And the winner was Kulvinder Gill with The Folks on the Hill. Which rhymes. In this tale, set in a nightmarish future, "crime is out of control and prisons packed to bursting point, so the government introduces the ultimate sanction." This ultimate sanction turns out to be crucifixion. However, due to shortages of materials in this dystopia, people are crucified two to a cross - and the fun never stops. Read the script here (pdf).
A massive thank you to all the entrants, and I think I speak on behalf of the entire Vultures' nest, please don't ever put us through this again.
