Three word review of LFW = OMFG? As in Lily's interpretative dance awesomeness, plus our first actual SHOW, referencing iconic accessories legends, people were going, seriously, who knew Sigmund Freud sketched his first EVER nude in a heritage notebook #truedat, I mean literally everyone who was not somewhere else was there eg Alexa, obvs, plus Vivienne, Tamara, Anya & thank God for security because Mary Portas was like banging on the door going will you fucking bastard cowards let me in, srsly Samantha or I will SO ban your iconic brand from every Portas high street in the fucking land.
So Vivienne got Lily to do this amaze interpretative dance that meant "sod off Portas you loser, poor people spend too much on clothes anyway", and Sarah Govey was like, do not forget junk food, Lily, symbolise what Michael said, just what part of nutritious salad do poor people not understand, & Alexa was like, put in a metaphor about hair, Lily, OMG when will people understand that uber-natural is the most modern thing in hair now, no need for costly salons?
Anna W was like Jesus was right, poor is never out of style, why do you think I have worn the same pair of shoes for 10 years? Which was actually so amaze, because everyone thought it must be like a podiatrist thing or a bet?
Then Portas was like well if I catch any of you bitches wearing my knickers you are dead, no wonder normal women think your husband sucks, Samantha, I am off to join the lib dems mwahaha.
I was like, OK guys, total honesty, does Dave have a woman problem, & btw would you like a complimentary tote in a vibrant Mediterranean hue? Alexa was like tbh I think it is fabulous how Dave totally prefigured SS14's masculine vibe & Anya was like, no offence to communism, but how many handbag ambassadors has David Miliband ever made & Tamara was like, hello, if Dave had not made Portas home secretary her pants would not even EXIST? I'm like I KNOW, but Dave just keeps going, but what will I say to mumsnet? I'm like babes, be cool, have you ever thought of hiring *racks brains for uber-normal woman* Dita Von Teese?
