As the world is again plunged into shock and panic about the future of human civilisation, perhaps it’s time to avoid reality for a while and take solace in the humour of sport – our emotional playground when things get tough.
50 Cent’s terrible first pitch
Celebrities are really on a hiding to nothing throwing first pitches, and politicians doubly so, because they’re often doing it with a chunky bullet-proof vest on, but what was Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson’s excuse? Not his finest release.
Diana Ross does a Baggio
Diana Ross had a bit on her plate here, to be fair. It can’t be easy to sprint around a football field belting out one of your hits and also beat a keeper who is insistent on creeping off his line. Twenty-two years on, her botched effort is, however, still hilarious.
Chicago Bulls mascot steals the kiss-cam limelight
Is this entirely contrived? Yes, but it’s still funny and takes an essentially played-out sports attendance tradition and puts a new spin on it.
Australian rules star Garry Hocking takes a tumble
Take former Geelong AFL champion Garry “Buddha” Hocking, a hot dog truck and a greasy Melbourne day, and you have the recipe for 10 seconds of great sports television.
Australian prime minister John Howard struggles to find his radar
Good on him for having a go, but former PM John Howard seriously compromised his other status as the nation’s official “cricket tragic” when he stepped up to have a bowl during a trip to Pakistan, whose cricket fans have surely suffered enough in the past two decades.
Alan Partridge calls the races
Twenty-two years on from the final episode of The Day Today, its finest moments live on just a few taps of the smart phone away, and what skit is more fun to call upon at times like these than Alan Partridge’s infamous call of fictitious racing royalty like Christ’s Chin, Immaculate Pasta and Alf Ramsey’s Porn Dungeon?
Mike Whitney butchers Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You
Australian cricketer turned TV star Mike Whitney is now better remembered as the one-time host of Who Dares Wins and a referee on equally short-lived Gladiators, but back in the early 90s he also tried his hand at singing on ABC comedy cult classic The Late Show. Results varied.
David Tua: “O for Awesome”
Short and sweet for our token New Zealand entry: heavyweight boxer David Tua failing the spelling bee but winning the hearts of a nation on Wheel of Fortune.
Chris Kamara forgets what his job actually entails
You could pick a number of gaffes from footballer turned pundit Chris Kamara, but his lack of information here regarding the sending off of a Portsmouth player in a game he was covering is probably at the top of the pile.
Watch the football! – That Mitchell and Webb Look
And on the topic of football broadcasting, let’s finish with the classic David Mitchell parody of verbose, thundering, around-the-clock TV coverage of the round ball game.
