When Charlotte first met John, she thought she had met "the man of her dreams".
John was "charming", wanted to "sweep her off her feet" and seemed to "share the same values" as her, she recalls.
John and Charlotte are not their real names — they have been changed so as not to identify victims of family violence.
WARNING: This story contains details that may cause distress.
Much of this story is based on the victim impact statement Charlotte read out in the Supreme Court in Hobart, where John has pleaded guilty to two counts of persistent family violence.
Rather than being the man of her dreams, John is now the stuff of her "nightmares".
"The abuse haunts me daily," she told the court.
"Some memories are vivid and some I have suppressed deep in the back of my brain so I can try and function for my family.
"They hit me when I least expect, sometimes in a nightmare.
Throughout their three-year relationship, John would verbally, physically and sexually abuse her.
He expected her to wear makeup all the time, keep the house immaculately clean and have sex with him almost every night, the court heard.
"I never realised at the time, but do now, that I was walking on eggshells well before I was aware and the abuse and the manipulation had started long before it turned physical," she told the court.
"John's controlling behaviour, comments, name-calling and belittling words were all breaking me down to feel worthless, stupid, vulnerable and isolated."
She told the court the odd outburst, explosive rage or push soon instilled fear in her.
"Telling me I was beautiful and that he had never loved anyone like he had loved me and we were soul mates."
Over time, the abuse, manipulation and threats just continued to get worse and increase in frequency, she told the court.
"He eventually wore me down until I was broken and empty," she said.
"I began to believe all the things he would say: I was stupid, worthless, crazy and no-one else would want me.
"I was no longer the independent, strong, vibrant and confident woman I was before meeting him. Instead, I was fragile, withdrawn and anxious."
The court heard he would also manipulate her into sex, and once raped her.
"When I remember the sexual acts he forced me to do … telling me that there was something wrong with me for not wanting to and that all men wanted those things and all women he'd been with liked doing them … I still feel sick and dirty," Charlotte told the court.
She said while the bruises eventually faded, the emotional damage "stayed" and there were two "lifelong physical scars" that reminded her every day of what he did.
"A small dent in my forehead from when he head-butted me during my pregnancy is something most people may not notice but I see it every day in the mirror and in nearly every photo of me," she said.
"The other being my severe back injury from the assaults from which I've undergone two surgeries and have required several hospital admissions."
To this day she is "sensitive to unexpected touch or sound".
Charlotte stayed with John for three years — it has taken longer to reach this point in the court system.
In May 2021, days before his trial, John pleaded guilty to two counts of persistent family violence. The other count related to the woman he dated before Charlotte — whose story is similar.
Following the submissions, John was remanded in custody to be sentenced at a later date.
As Charlotte read these words on Thursday, with John in the same room, many in the court wept.
"The pain will be with me always, in varying degrees," she told the court.
"The feelings of shame, embarrassment, self-consciousness, fear, anxiety, sadness and anger all hit me at different times.
"My story won't always be what I went through, instead it will be what I overcame."
