Smiley Face, Jamie? Photograph: The Observer
The Turkey Twizzler may have been banished from some school lunches, thanks to Jamie Oliver but it seems the Breaded Turkey Dinosaur is still a long way from extinction. It doesn't matter that I hate them. Who cares what I think? What really matters is that French school children adore them. How do we know? Because David Joll, the Managing Director of Bernard Matthews Ltd, told us so in this letter. It's good to know we're being read in the boardrooms of Britain, although we might question their taste in food.
Mr Joll also asks the question: 'What is wrong with low fat turkey meat, dipped in flour and water and flash fried in vegetable oil?' Obviously we want to help, so if someone could come up with an answer that we can pass on to the Matthews empire, we'd be most grateful.
