Talking dirty

• "Having a son radically altered the way I thought about sex. I always used to think if a man had an erection, it meant he wanted to have sex. But suddenly I discovered there's this little baby with an erection because he wants to pee or the wind's blowing. Like you know, what is sexuality?"
Patricia Arquette, Ms London

• "Ricky Martin is a porcine Puerto Rican who has stormed into the number one slot ... I don't get it. He hasn't even got cheekbones ... Who are pop fans meant to lust after? Hugh Grant may be sweet, but there were girls in my netball team with more testosterone. Ewan McGregor's got spots, Sean Connery is 103 and Kenneth Branagh is a ginge"
Jenny Eclair on the lack of male sex bombs, Times

• "She's got the kind of face you'd never grow tired of slapping"
Charlie Catchpole on Calista Flockhart, aka Ally McBeal, Mirror

• "It amazes me, watching the British public when someone takes their clothes off. I show my bottom and there's a national outcry!"
TV presenter Gail Porter, Sun