JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP
On Wednesday, Sabri Lamouchi became the first person since Billy Davies in 2011 to complete a full season as manager of Nottingham Forest. So it was a proud day for the Frenchman and nobody can ever take that away from him. It’s true he would have liked the season to continue a little longer but you can’t have everything.
To round off the campaign Lamouchi and his team hosted Stoke City, who were obliged by Championship rules to turn up on time but had no particular motivation to perform well and little recent experience of doing the same. All Forest had to do to extend their season by claiming the play-off place that they already had in their hands was not drop it down the toilet.
Forest’s 4-1 embarrassment in front of Stoke, coupled with Swansea’s 4-1 win at Reading, meant the Welsh side joined Brentford, Fulham and sister club Cardiff in the play-off spots, while West Brom went up automatically despite their best efforts, and Forest’s players could get straight on with celebrating their manager’s landmark reign. The Fiver’s not best qualified to judge but Lamouchi seems like a charming man and a savvy coach, so let’s hope Forest take inspiration from Nasty Leeds and allow the manager to take the positives out of a slapstick humiliation then go for promotion next season.
And let’s face it, if the reaction to Nasty Leeds’s return to the Premier League has taught us anything, it’s that all that’s needed is a diverting sequence of mayhem, hoo-haas and monumental ineptitude for a once-unloved club to capture hearts all over the world. Granted, Forest have never got up as many noses, but they’re outdoing Yorkshire’s finest when it comes to agonising failure. So when they eventually return to the top flight for the first time since the 20th century, The Fiver will be raising a flute of something nice in their honour. For the foreseeable future, though, it’s more Tin.
Oh Forest, how could you!?
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“If [Gianluca] Lapadula and [Filippo] Falco hadn’t put their hearts into it, we would have struggled to put 11 players on the pitch. Playing every three days has changed the rules of this sport and teams with small squads, like ours, have been exposed. The lockdown has been devastating for us” – Lecce coach Fabio Liverani laments his lot after their Serie A relegation battle with Brescia, which they still managed to win 3-1.
RECOMMENDED LOOKING
Introducing our all-singing, all-dancing women’s transfer interactive for 2020, featuring the latest deals and club-by-club guides for the WSL and leagues in Italy, France, Germany and Spain.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Football Weekly Extra will be in this general vicinity. And there’s a new Forgotten Stories of Football episode, which you can listen to right here.
FIVER LETTERS
“You have to feel for gutted Brentford manager, Thomas Frank, whose team’s narrow failure to secure automatic promotion to the Premier League prompted a quote not even The Fiver could have made up. “Football is 80% suffering and 10% joy,” he said. His suffering was exacerbated by the fact that the lads had given 110%” – David Newton.
“Despite slipping up by scoring five against Chelsea, Liverpool are in with a good chance of securing the record for ‘biggest shortfall in goals scored compared to the Premier League’s top scorers’. Going into the final game they just need to ensure they score one fewer against Newcastle than Manchester City get against Norwich. Yours ever hopefully (and not at all scrambling desperately for crumbs of comfort …)” – James Walker.
“If we’re counting horses in towns (yesterday’s Fiver letters), let’s not forget the loveliest horse of all. But yes, we have to lose the sax solo” – Mike Wilner.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … David Newton.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Nasty Leeds have been criticised after their squad appeared in front of fans on an open-top bus outside Elland Road to celebrate their Championship title. “The safety group believed that a brief appearance from the players with the Championship trophy, would help to signal an end to proceedings, encouraging fans to head home safely,” said a club spokesman, who may have never attended a party or encountered a football crowd.
Charlton are a League One club again and their manager is not happy. “I don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes,” fumed Lee Bowyer. “You know a lot of the stuff that’s been going on, it’s just crazy, it’s not normal.”
“He is yellow. Unai Emery.” Villarreal announce their new manager with a sentiment many Arsenal fans may well echo.
Mikel Arteta insists the Gunners won’t let up in Sunday’s clash of the cojones against Watford, a game with major implications for the relegation battle if not for his own team. “I want to play as strong a team as I can,” he cheered.
Meanwhile, David Luiz is making plans for retirement. “‘I’d put a suit on and cut my hair,” he cooed. “I can’t be a coach with this hair, nobody’s going to respect me!” Sometimes the lines write themselves.
It’s now a winner-probably-takes-all showdown between Leicester and Manchester United for the final Premier League spot in Big Cup, and Harry Maguire is p-u-m-p-e-d-ish. “If you can’t get ready for the game that’s coming on Sunday then you’re in the wrong sport,” he roared.
Robbie Fowler wants to add either Bristol City or Birmingham to his managerial portfolio. “The CV has gone in but I’m not sure what route these clubs are going,” he tooted. “All the good work that I’ve done, I want to continue that, so fingers crossed a position will open up pretty soon.” It’s unlikely to be at the former, mind, as they’re set to appoint Chris Hughton.
And after 44 games for Blues, Jude Bellingham’s No 22 has been retired by the club.
STILL WANT MORE?
In praise of the Championship. By Paul Wilson.
Jonathan Liew on Manchester United and their defence.
Nicky Bandini reports on the Genoa derby.
Paul Mitchell and Niko Kovac are the latest characters to step into Monaco’s casino. Can they make it work, wonders Eric Devin.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
