One of the more entertaining moments of my golf journey happened on the 14th tee. My playing partner and I, two women enjoying our round behind a slower fourball, were suddenly caught up by a man playing alone. We weren’t dawdling, just pacing ourselves, when he appeared out of nowhere on the 10th and had closed the gap by the 14th. We offered the courtesy: “You can play through, though there’s a group ahead so you won’t get far.” Without skipping a beat, he responded, “Yes, thanks, because you’re playing extraordinarily slow.”
Extraordinarily Slow?
I calmly teed off and simply said, “That’s really rude.” He did not play through that day. It was an interaction that stayed with me not just because of the audacity, but because of the expectation baked into it! That we would apologise, move aside, and make room. That our presence was an inconvenience to be corrected. It mirrored something I’ve seen repeatedly in my professional life too: women in corporate spaces expected to be accommodating, non-disruptive, and shrink even when they have every right to be there.
The parallels between golf and leadership are striking. I work with senior leaders in business, and I still notice that some confident, capable women leaders still hesitate to speak up in meetings, delay putting themselves forward for opportunities, and play small when they sense their presence may be “too much.” And on the golf course, I see the same behaviour play out: women rushing through shots, skipping the early tee times, avoiding competitions, quietly navigating around men.
Let’s be honest: some men hit the ball further, lose more balls, and have elaborate pre-shot routines that eat up just as much, if not more, time. Yet women are the ones apologising, being pushed, and constantly told to stay out of the way.
We Need A Mindset Reset
Women have every right to take up space on the course, just as we do in the boardroom. That doesn’t mean slow play (I have to be honest I have played with some women who do that) or disregard for etiquette. It means playing with presence and confidence.
Taking your time to line up a shot. Speaking up when a golf club’s policies disproportionately benefit one gender. And remembering that the group behind you doesn’t set your pace, the group ahead does. When I play with men it always makes me smile because they rarely ever look at the group behind.
At one club I played at, women were paying less than men, and it caused quite a stir. But when you looked closer, you realised that on certain Medal Sundays, especially in winter, women literally couldn’t get a full round in. The men’s competition often took up so many tee times that it was impossible to play 18 holes unless you were in the competition. It’s time for women to show up to the course, and in professional spaces, without apology.
That means questioning traditions that no longer serve us. It means entering competitions, booking prime-time slots, mixing up groups, and stepping confidently into spaces where we may still be underrepresented. Because here’s what I know from coaching female leaders: when women take up space, people move. Not always right away, not always willingly, but eventually, things shift.
So if you’re on the tee and someone rolls their eyes because you’re taking your time, take your time anyway. You paid your fee. You earned your place. And you belong exactly where you are, not on the sidelines, not speeding through, but right there, in full view, owning your shot.
