Dear Agony Akka,
I am a youth based in State of Telangana and I have become very much inspired by seeing Neeraj Chopra win gold medal in the Olympics. I have been rewinding the video again and again to see him in action. I come from decent middle-class family and my parents are saying I must become engineer only. But I am very keen to become javelin thrower or discus thrower or any other kind of sportsman. They are also giving good non-veg food in training camps it seems. Please tell me how I can achieve this ambition.
— Acutely Inviting Mentorship
Dear AIM,
I am deeply impressed. Very few youths today are interested in anything except smartphones and selfie sticks. Mind you, that does not mean they are not keen on outdoor activities. Selfie Taking is an advanced and life-threatening skill that is practised on mountain tops and on railway tracks just before train arrives and mows you down. Still, it is not yet recognised as Olympic sport, so it is good that you are focussing on other areas.
Let me tell you in advance that you are already at a disadvantage. In India, decent middle class and upper class people don’t play sports. Upper class people sometimes play tennis but mostly their youths are too busy mowing down people sleeping on footpaths or dieting to fit into sherwani for wedding parties. It is a busy life.
Middle class people are busy trying to become upper class people, so that is also very time-consuming. If you had been poor, things would be easier. You won’t have a car to mow down people and you won’t be worried about your complexion becoming dark by playing in the sun.
Thankfully, you are keen on non-veg food, otherwise this is a major reason why privileged Indian kids are unable to focus on a demanding sports career. I don’t blame them — by the time they figure out which gravy they can eat and whose room they can safely share in training camp, they get mentally and physically exhausted, poor things. On top of that, steady diet of paneer can be very debilitating.
But if you are watching Telugu films, you will know that actor Chiranjeevi can throw javelin across the stadium to land straight on judge’s table. Maybe you can explore the cinema route for sports. It has many advantages. For e.g., there are no age limits. You can be 40-50 years old but just wear shorts and instantly participate in all high school sports meets. Second, you get the opportunity to explore multiple sports. You can play basketball in football field wearing tennis clothes and that’s three sports before interval itself.
If, however, you insist on being a sportsman in real life, you must know your family history. The Chairman and Editor of Sudarshan TV, Mr. Suresh Chavhanke, has intricately traced the history of Neeraj Chopra back to the ‘Chopde’ clan that fought in the Maratha army against Ahmad Shah Abdali in the Third Battle of Panipat 260 years ago. Apparently, the Chopdes belonged to a fierce spear-throwing division of the Maratha army, which explains his success.
Do you have any such family background? Did your ancestors throw cannonballs at invading hordes? Can you furnish proof that 350 years ago, your forebears bravely fought the Qutb Shahi dynasty with bows and arrows or bayonets? If your answer is yes, then instantly enrol in a sports academy of your choice. If not, well, you can throw calipers and spirit levels in your free time.
— AA
agony.akka@gmail.com
