The other day, I heard my mother describe her relationship with someone close in our family as unhealthy and toxic. She then explained how most of her interactions with that person took away her peace of mind and how she needs to limit that to protect her peace of mind.
I was both surprised and happy to see her able to distinguish the differences between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. I asked how did she come to know about such terminology. She gave a gleaming smile and told me that she had been watching some Malayalam YouTube channels that dealt with these topics.
YouTube channels that come up in regional languages have helped people from every nook and corner of the country gain awareness of topics such as toxicity or abuse in relationships that were otherwise alien to them. Earlier, when social media platforms were non-existent or not popular, only the people who grew up in liberal homes or were part of some empowered social circles had access to such topics. Today, it’s accessible to anyone with a smartphone and the Internet.
The recent cases of multiple dowry-related deaths reported in Kerala and discussions based on these topics have also helped Malayalis wake up to the gravity of these issues. Recently, I heard my neighbour say how girls should be married off only after they become independent on their own. To see men and women talk about such critical topics in everyday casual conversation is a sign of positive change.
While YouTube and other social media platforms have made a good start in creating awareness of toxicity and abuse in relationships, we have a long way to go. From what I have observed around me, many people now recognise physical abuse as condemnable, but many don’t seem to feel the same about emotional abuse. Even today, in the rural parts of Kerala, emotional abuse is counted as small negligible fights that are normal in relationships. Also, a large population does not realise that abuse has no gender; both the man and the woman can be the abuser or the victim.
As a society, we have a long way to go to ensure humane treatment of the people around us. Let’s hope that the developments in the world of social media will contribute to that cause by sensitising people to such issues and motivating them to be the change.
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