Sven-Goran Eriksson has turned down the chance to manage North Korea at next year's World Cup. This is a great shame, as a closer look reveals the rogue Swedish football manager and the rogue one-party state are in fact a match made in heaven.
Sven-Goran Eriksson
Current status: Face of a mysterious and shadowy regime (newly oil-rich Notts County FC).
Experience with dubious authority figures: Employed at Manchester City by Thaksin Shinawatra, deposed Thai prime minster recently sentenced to two years in prison for corruption.
Globetrotting: In the last 15 years, Lisbon, Genoa, Florence, Rome, England, Manchester City, Mexico and now the banks of the Trent
Loves to hate: England. Revenge is a dish best served by a distinctly chilly Swede
He says: "No, I don't know where the money comes from. I'm not interested in that." On settling in at Notts County.
North Korea's football team
Current status: Face of a mysterious and shadowy regime (Kim Jong-Il's Stalinist dictatorship).
Experience with dubious authority figures: Kim Jong-Il personally instructed his players on World Cup qualification.
Globetrotting: Before this year the team hadn't visited Europe since 1966.
Loves to hate: England. Kim is said to have been enraged by pictures of David Beckham posing with journalists freed from a North Korean prison. His players have reportedly been offered cash bonuses to exact revenge on the pitch at the World Cup.
They say: "It turned into a theatre of plot-breeding and swindling." On claims that players were "poisoned" by hosts South Korea at a game last April.
