And that’ll do from here. Job done for Arsenal, who of course now have another non-league team to cope with - probably a rather more organised one, in Lincoln. Cheers for reading/writing in.
Well, that was all relatively uneventful in the end. Arsenal did enough, but not much more than that, but aside from that Roarie Deacon shot Sutton didn’t create much. It’s interesting how different the approaches were from Lincoln and Sutton: the former had a proper plan, did superbly and won against a Premier League team, the latter seemed to treat the whole thing as a bit of a laugh and were just happy to be there.
Perhaps that’s unfair, but for all they’re being patronised about what an effort they made, they didn’t really make things especially uncomfortable for Arsenal. An incredible, magnificent, implausible effort to get this far, but could they have done better?
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Full-time: Sutton 0-2 Arsenal
Peeeeeeeeeeeeep.
90 mins + 1: Oh, the pie thing was a tie-in with that Bad Newspaper betting firm. Awful stuff.
90 mins: All winding down a bit now. Did we mention that the Sutton reserve goalie was eating a pie on the touchline? What days we live in.
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88 mins: Walcott runs at Collins, but it’s a long way around him, and the Arsenal man can’t quite last the distance.
87 mins: Sutton have a corner, which is tossed into the box but is headed clear. Downer goes to ground with what looks like a vicious bout of cramp, and he’ll need to take a moment.
85 mins: A few theories submitted, re: why bring on Sanchez...
- “Clearly Arsene wants Sanchez to get hacked down and injured for 3-6 months. This will put off the various suitors and ensure Sanchez signs another contract with Arsenal. It’s tactical see - Arsene knows !” - Neil Bailey.
- “Perhaps Sanchez wants/needs the appearance money as he has his dogs to feed, or it might be his last FA Cup tie given Arsenal’s ability to self-implode when the going gets a tiny bit tough” - Mark Judd.
- “He’s being sent out there for the same reason that Premier League sides send out their star players for the last 20 minutes on an overseas pre-season tour – i.e. pleasing the crowds” - PA.
84 mins: Referee Michael Oliver patronises Sutton by not booking Collins, after he pushed Sanchez to the ground.
81 mins: Final change for Sutton, as Dan Fitchett replaces Biamou.
80 mins: Nice work by Sanchez, driving towards the box then feeding Oxlade-Chamberlain, who curls a low shot through a crowd of legs, but keeper Worner saves, diving to his left. The ball then breaks back to Sanchez, who creates some space and tries a chip from the right side of the box, but it goes wide.
77 mins: Oxlade-Chamberlain has to apologise to his colleagues after very nearly stitching them right up after carelessly being dispossessed, but Holding clears up his mess.
76 mins: Can anyone talk me through the thinking behind risking Sanchez here? Is he like a shark, stops going unless he’s playing football? Well, for the shark it would be swimming, but you get the point.
75 mins:
I kid you not. Sutton reserve keeper Wayne Shaw is in the bar at half-time. pic.twitter.com/f7014pXRBP
— Chris Slegg (@ChrisSlegg) February 20, 2017
73 mins: And now Arsenal make two changes. Off are Reine-Adelaide and Iwobi, and on come Ashley Maitland-Niles and - for reasons passing understanding - Alexis Sanchez.
71 mins: Another switch for Sutton - Bradley Hudson-Odoi comes on for May.
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70 mins: Spence nearly sets up something special straight away, getting down the right and booming a big cross to the back post, but that time Ospina does reasonably well to punch it clear.
69 mins: Change for Sutton - Beckwith is off, replaced by Dan Spence.
68 mins: Oxlade-Chamberlain does brilliantly to dance away from a couple of Sutton defenders, down the left and crosses...but it’s too far in front of Walcott, who was lurking in the six-yard box.
65 mins: WOOF! Good lord, what a hit that was from Deacon! He lined the shot up from about 25 yards out, struck it like a Norse god, and it swerved and flew right against the bar. Ospina barely moved - an inch or two lower and that would’ve been an incredible goal.
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63 mins: Close to a third for Arsenal, as Lucas scampers down the left, puts in a low cross but Amankwaah does well to get there just ahead of Walcott, who would’ve had a virtually open goal.
60 mins: Sutton looking a bit lively now. Deacon gets down the left, he throws in plenty of lollipops, crosses to the back stick but Monreal is there to head behind. From the corner, again taken by Deacon, Ospina makes a dreadful attempt at trying to claim the ball and Collins gets a relatively free header, but puts it over. He sits on the astroturf for a short while and contemplates things: that was a huge chance.
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57 mins: A shot on target for Sutton: Gomis feeds May in the box, he squares to Biamou who shoots low, but in the end a relatively simple save for Ospina.
56 mins: “I don’t know how this match will end,” writes Peter Oh, “but one thing is for sure. The Arsenal kit man is going to be left cursing like a pirate at the mounds of rubber pellets that he’ll find stuck to the Gunners’ socks, boots, and shorts.”
55 mins: Nicely worked goal as Perez, Iwobi and Oxlade-Chamberlain exchange passes on the left side of the box, the cross finds its way to Walcott at the back stick and it’s an easy finish to wrap up the game and score his 100th goal for Arsenal.
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GOAL! Sutton 0-2 Arsenal (Walcott 55)
And that’ll probably be that.
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52 mins: Wonderful work by Gomis, firstly by very fairly bullying Monreal off the ball, and then with some terrific footwork in the box to create some space, but ultimately his shot is fairly weak and is blocked.
51 mins: Oxlade-Chamberlain tries another of those defence-splitters for Walcott, but misjudges it slightly and it dribbles through to the keeper rather than to the forward.
49 mins: Oxlade-Chamberlain has played a couple of neat passes in his brief time on the pitch so far. There’s one, to play in Walcott, that is wasted a little after it’s laid off to Iwobi.
47 mins: A long ball is pumped forwards and Biamou chases with Holding, who has to play what we’ll call a ‘spicy’ backpass to Ospina, but he deals with it relatively well.
46 mins: And we’re away for the second half.
Change for Arsenal at the break - Oxlade-Chamberlain is on, in place of Elneny, who clearly wasn’t happy after that injury he sustained in the first half.
The BBC have somehow persuaded Alan Pardew to get in front of the camera and be interviewed. What a task that must’ve been.
Reunited at last; Shearer and Sutton. pic.twitter.com/7EkaXsRbJN
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) February 20, 2017
Well, Sutton will probably be relatively content with only being 1-0 down, but to be honest they haven’t done a great deal. Of course one can’t expect them to contend with Arsenal too much, but they haven’t really looked in much danger. Still, they’re in touch, and haven’t done too badly.
Half-time: Sutton United 0-1 Arsenal
Peeeeeeeeeeeep.
45 mins: After being in virtually no danger for the whole game thus far, Ospina tries to create some of that by passing the ball straight to May just outside the area. The Sutton man takes it into the box, but his shot can only find the side-netting. Big chance. Naturally, Ospina shouts at his colleagues for not anticipating that he was going to give the thing directly to an opposition player.
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43 mins: Rough foul from behind on Walcott by Amankwaah. Should’ve been a booking, that.
41 mins: Deacon puts the free-kick to the back post, but Arsenal clear and counter. Walcott gets the ball caught under his feet a bit, Iwobi also doesn’t really get the ball under control but it breaks back to him and he shoots, but it’s deflected wide.
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40 mins: Arsenal get a corner, but after a bit of head tennis in the area Sutton counter. Deacon manages to get the ball off Reine-Adelaide, but the Arsenal youngster’s iffy night continues as he gets a booking for pulling his opponent down about 35 yards out on the left.
37 mins: Sutton get another free-kick about 40 yards out on the right, but once again their cross is overhit. They seem to be, understandably, keen to test Arsenal in the air, but they either seem to be misjudging the wind or are a little giddy, the sort of tension in their legs that snooker commentators attribute ropey shots to.
36 mins:
Granit Xhaka probably the only player to be booked within the same week at the Allianz Arena and at Gander Green Lane.
— Archie Rhind-Tutt (@archiert1) February 20, 2017
34 mins: Collins goes right through Iwobi with one of those ‘hearty’ challenges that if it was in the Premier League, the commentators would call it a disgrace, but as it’s a little non-league team and bless them they’re trying, there was a little chuckle in the voice. Iwobi gets a kick on the shin, and was lucky to get away with only that. Not even a free-kick given.
33 mins: Elneny gets a little attention, but could be OK. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Ashley Maitland-Niles are warming up just in case, though.
31 mins: Sutton have half an attack, but it fizzles out with another overhit ball. There’s been plenty of those. Meanwhile, Elneny is down with some sort of non-specific malady, and needs treatment.
29 mins: Bit of a shame that - Sutton had just been building some sort of momentum. Walcott finds some space about 40 yards out, he drives towards the box and shoots with power, but not quite the right direction and it goes over.
27 mins: Sutton attack and leave a fair bit of space down their left flank, into which Lucas Perez runs. He then cuts in, crosses low into the box toward Walcott who tries to flick it, but no matter: Walcott’s presence possibly distracted the Sutton keeper Worner, and it creeps in at the far post.
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GOAL! Sutton 0-1 Arsenal (Lucas 27)
A little from nowhere, that.
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25 mins: “I know that most neutrals are hoping for a win for Sutton here,” writes David Wall, “but isn’t there at least something to be said for being secretly pleased if Arsenal do make it through? The idea of seeing the Arsenal defence trying to cope with Lincoln’s Matt Rhead in the next round is surely too good a prospect to want to miss.”
24 mins: Who had 24 minutes in the ‘When will Xhaka be booked?’ sweep? If so, claim your prize: the walking yellow card is cautioned for stupidly, pointlessly, cynically pulling Eastmond back.
22 mins: Deacon, one of the livelier Sutton players, does a couple of lollipops to get past Gabriel on the right side of the box, but his left-footed cross is badly overhit.
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21 mins: Marauding full-back Gabriel gets down the right, but his cross is deflected and loops into the area, and it was a fairly easy take for keeper Worner. Alan ‘Pards’ Pardew is in the crowd. The BBC commentator rather kindly called his current phase of life as a ‘sabbatical’.
19 mins: Reine-Adelaide not having the best time of it so far: he clumsily barges May over, at the second attempt, and concedes a free-kick in the Arsenal half.
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17 mins: Eastmond challenges Monreal for the ball and tumbles in the box, but there’s no penalty given. And quite right too: let’s just say if that was Ashley Young who went down under little encouragement, you’d be hearing much more about it.
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15 mins: Arsenal find some space in the Sutton defence, and Reine-Adelaide finds himself on the byline on the right, and for some reason chooses to shoot rather than pick out one of many men in the middle. The ball then breaks to Elneny who hoys the shot well, well, well over.
13 mins: Not a great deal of note has happened thus far, Both teams just feeling each other out for the moment. Incidental observation: all the Sutton coaching staff look like they’ve got some lovely nice new trackies for the occasion.
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12 mins: “The pitch looks like it’s made from the same velour as a teenage girls’ tracksuit,” writes David Penney. I’ll avoid asking the obvious question.
10 mins: Quite a few of these Arsenal players seem to be wearing proper football boots. As a regular five-a-sider, I can confirm they are the absolute worst. Or is that just me? Is it considered universal poor form not to wear astros on non-grass surfaces?
7 mins: Walcott breaks towards the area but is halted, and the ball falls to Reine-Adelaide, but his shot is blocked. It goes out to Downer, but Monreal barges him over and Sutton have a free-kick in their right-back region.
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6 mins: Sutton have their first attack...after a fashion. A long throw is directed towards the big man Collins (there are, it must be said, one or two big men in their team), but the flick-on went nowhere.
5 mins: “Did I read that right?” exclaims Glenn Easton. “Walcott had nothing to give his opposite number to mark the match? What’s the bad karma coefficient for that faux pas?” Maybe he just forgot.
3 mins: Eastmond goes in reasonably hard on Elneny, but takes the ball cleanly enough. The Arsenal man isn’t happy, but if he’s going to kvetch about challenges like that, this early, he could be in for a long night.
1 min: Arsenal knock the thing around for the entire first minute, possibly trying to get used to the pitch, possibly because the Sutton players just couldn’t get it off them...
We’re about to get underway. Arsenal will kick off...
Sutton captain Jamie Collins gives Arsenal skipper Theo Walcott (!) a pennant. Walcott gives Collins...nothing.
The players are out. Sutton manager Paul Doswell is, to say the least, lapping all of this up, touring the pitch and waving to the crowd.
Arsene Wenger looks tired. “We can only repair what happened against Bayern, against Bayern,” he says when asked if this game can be some sort of redemption for what happened in Munich. The Beeb’s Dan Walker then asked him about the pitch. “Top level sport is about adapting to the pitch,” he said. “At least it’s flat.”
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Sutton United blasting Nessun Dorma in the stadium before kickoff is my new favorite thing in soccer.
— Joshua Robinson (@JoshRobinson23) February 20, 2017
Here’s Roger Anderson with an answer on Mertesacker: “I believe Wenger touched on why Mertsacker is not playing tonight: the artificial turf would not be a good surface as the first game back from injury.”
It’ll be a crime if this isn’t the case...
@NickMiller79 That has to become an official nickname: "What a pass by Nine Nuggets Bailey!" To be a legend, you need a legend's name.
— Hubert O'Hearn (@BTBReviews) February 20, 2017
Worth recalling that Sutton midfielder Nicky Bailey is probably just leaving the drive-thru.
My diet has got me to where I am today! I am not the best eater. I don’t think I’ve ever had a salad in my life, or a vegetable. It’s always worked for me. My pre-match meal is always a McDonald’s – nine nuggets. When I was younger, my mum used to try and make me eat the green stuff, but I used to sick it up.”
Nine nuggets, mind you.
You’re tempted to wonder when, if not in this game, is Per Mertesacker going to start. He was back in full training nearly a month ago, so unless he’s had a setback (not out of the question with an Arsenal player) then it’s surprising he’s not there to provide a little experience and whatnot.
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Here’s today’s Fiver, written by a handsome, kind, generous and witty young man. Features a bit of Sutton. And Arsenal.
Team news
Sutton United
Worner, Amankwaah, Downer, Collins, Beckwith, Deacon, Bailey, Eastmond, May, Gomis, Biamou. Subs: John, Hudson-Odoi, Fitchett, Spence, Monakana, Tubbs, Shaw.
Arsenal
Ospina; Gabriel, Mustafi, Holding, Monreal; Elneny, Xhaka; Lucas, Reine-Adelaide, Iwobi; Walcott. Subs: Martinez, Debuchy, Mertesacker, Gibbs, Maitland-Niles, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Sanchez.
Referee: Michael Oliver
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LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!
Arsenal bus has just arrived pic.twitter.com/F3GrvvJ9kW
— Tom Williams (@tomwfootball) February 20, 2017
You’ll remember that Sutton did pretty well back in 1989, but you might not know what happened next. Steven Pye, as part of the Guardian Sport Network, plays the role of Craig David by filling you in.
Preamble
There’s a lot to this game. A lot to talk about. There’s so much to talk about, so much for people to get giddy and talk about, there almost no point in actually playing the game. In fact, why bother playing the game? This can be the first FA Cup tie decided by narrative.
All the storylines are here. We’ve got the basic the MINNOWS against the GIANTS (which in itself is a weird thing: a small fish vs a James Dean film), which is enough to be going on with; there’s the astroturf, or whatever they’re calling non-grass pitches these days; there’s the former Arsenal player turning out for Sutton; there’s that fat goalie bloke; there’s Sutton’s past; there’s Arsenal going through an existential crisis; there’s Lincoln doing Burnley over. There’s loads!
It’s preferable not to be too ‘magic of the FA Cup’ about the FA Cup, but this is proper, old-fashioned stuff. Your shiny, expensive, theoretically good team against one where the boiler is knackered so they can’t have hot showers. And wouldn’t it be something if Sutton won? As the winners of this one will face Lincoln, we’d be guaranteed a non-league team in the semi-finals of the FA Cup. The semi-finals! Hoo-boy.
It’s also weird inasmuch as most of the time your average neutral wants the underdog to do well, but in this case Sutton have rather made a mess of their goodwill by signing up with The Bad Newspaper. Plus, at this stage, surely most with some small sense of human empathy want Arsene Wenger to do as well as possible for the next few months. It’s the end, everyone seems to know it’s the end, so surely we all want this man, this Arsenal legend who basically built a football club, to go out with some dignity.
Or, y’know, maybe you don’t. Whatever you’re after, it’ll all be here.
Kick-off: 19.55 GMT
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