A man suspected of burglary told police he "flew in" to a crime scene on a "fast magic carpet while having a spliff".
Police were on their way to an attempted break-in at a village store when they were alerted to a second at a restaurant shortly after.
It transpired David Cox had committed both, with an unknown accomplice.
The 35-year-old, of Wynter Close in Weston-super-Mare, pleaded guilty to attempted burglary and burglary on June 14.
Judge Michael Cullum jailed him for 24 months at Bristol Crown Court on July 18.
He told Cox: "You were on post-release licence for a month.
"Seeking finance, you and another decided to target a couple of premises in Weston-super-Mare.
"The village store had a family living upstairs, which is a significant aggravating feature."
Julian Howells, prosecuting, said Cox and his accomplice tripped the alarm at Uphill Village Shop when they tried prise open the front door at 2.46am.
A witness who heard a series of bangs saw a tall man go to a parked car which sped off.
The court heard remedial work on the damaged door cost £5,000.
On the same night a witness saw two men targeting Il Michelangelo restaurant in Knightstone Road, Weston-super-Mare.
The witness heard one say "do it quietly" and they called police.
Mr Howells said: "Police were responding to the burglary at Uphill Village Store.
"The defendant Mr Cox was located hiding under a bush in a garden on Knightstone Road, with gloves nearby.
"He was confirmed to be an offender by a witness."
The court heard intruders stole £800 from the restaurant till, as well as cash in a staff tip box. They also caused caused £1,300 damage to the door.
Mr Howells told Bristol Crown Court: "In interview, Mr Cox denied involvement.
"He said he had flown there on a fast magic carpet while he was having a spliff.
"When police pointed out a car nearby, he said it belonged to his ex-partner."
Paul Cornelius, a probation officer, said Cox told him he committed the offences because he was short of money.
Simon Cooper, defending, said: "He wishes to apologise for his behaviour.
"He's clean (of drugs) now and he wants to stay clean."
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