Sunnyside House - home of Phil Neville

Welcome to chez Greensmith (née Neville) Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

The exterior of Sunnyside House looks relatively understated ... Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

Inside it's all very wooden. Even without Phil Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

The master bedroom perhaps? It looks like you'd be shin-deep in that lustrous shag Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

Some unfussy curtain tie-type things. I'd keep these, they're lovely Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

Don't try and light a fire or the whole place will go up Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

A nightmare-inducing kids room Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

Will Greensmith keep the pew? I'll wager no one's ever sat on those for any real length of time. They're hardly versatile; you can't exactly pull them round to see the TV can you? Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

There's a lot of worktop space in the kitchen. And a conspicuous lack of saucepans, implements and cookbooks Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

How Land of Leather ever went bust is beyond me. They were clearly pitching to the wrong market Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

Every house should have an Itbox/bar combo. Though it seems to be covered in boots not pumps Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

More understated elegance. You could easily throw a rug over the embroidered "PJ" Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

Is that Quad motorised? There's all sorts of fun to be had in the memorabilia room Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

The question on everyone's lips is whether Mr Greensmith will have his own personalised dressing gown Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN

Dining room with stalactite roof. Who lives in a house like this? Mr Matthew Greensmith, that's who Photograph: Mark Waugh/MEN