And with that, I’ll be on my way. It’s been a whole lot of fun. Here’s a parting gift, courtesy of Louise Taylor at the Stadium of Light. Bye!
Updated
Paul Wilson reports on his afternoon out at the bet365 Stadium:
Real Madrid have scored a last-minute winner! Isco grabs his second, and the leaders win 3-2!
Isco something else today. Woof.
— Sid Lowe (@sidlowe) April 15, 2017
And if you’d prefer some proper match reporting, I can give you that too:
If you want more liveblogging, Barry Glendenning is all over Southampton v Manchester City:
The bottom nine have got four points between them for their day’s labour, which is good news for the only team among them not to play, Middlesbrough. Now they just need to beat Arsenal on Monday.
Because I know you care, our random international fixtures in full:
Newells Old Boys 0-0 Estudiantes
Wolfsberger 0-2 Salzburg
Sileks 0-1 Vardar
Jestinstvo 1-3 Bokelj
Sporting Gijon 2-2 Real Madrid (after 75 mins)
Olimpik Donetsk 0-4 Shakhtar Donetsk
Al-Wahda 0-1 Al-Ahli
Final score: Sunderland 2-2 West Ham
It’s all over, and Sunderland get just a point. Since Christmas they’ve lost 11, drawn five and won one in all competitions. Not good enough, not by a very long way.
West Ham take off Ayew and bring on Calleri, and take at least a minute over it. 99 minutes and 40 seconds played.
It’s all over at Hibs, where the home side have won 3-0 against Queen of the South and sealed promotion and the title in the process.
Hibernian FC are back...in the Premiership 🏆#ThankYouThankYou pic.twitter.com/HFUO9xc6Vd
— Hibernian FC (@HibsOfficial) April 15, 2017
Sunderland win a 98th-minute free kick on the left, 45 yards from goal, and Khazri ludicrously and inexplicably shoots! And misses by a mile, for good measure!
Final score: Stoke 3-1 Hull City
Stoke’s goals ranged from the lovely to the wonderful, and brought them three points against Hull!
Full time: Crystal Palace 2-2 Leicester
It dinged and it donged, and although Leicester took a two-goal lead it ended with the points shared!
RED CARD! West Ham will play the last five minutes with 10 men!
Sam Byram collects a second yellow card, and can Sunderland find a winner now?
Final score: Everton 3-1 Burnley
Everton go fifth, temporarily at least, after beating Burnley by the requisite two goals.
Final score: Watford 1-0 Swansea
The Swans had their chances, especially towards the end as Watford lived very dangerously, but took none of them and lose once again. Watford reach 40 points, and Walter Mazzarri celebrates wildly!
Updated
All our games are deep into stoppage time, but at Sunderland they’re going to go significantly deeper – they’ve got 10 minutes of it.
Sigurdsson misses twice for Swansea! First he heads wide from a right-wing cross and then, moments later, he bursts through the middle but miskicks his shot from the edge of the area, which rolls gently to Gomes!
@Simon_Burnton How's the Villa doing?
— TheStellarossa (@TheStellaRossa) April 15, 2017
Um, losing 3-1 at home to Reading.
GOAL! Sunderland 2-2 West Ham!
Fabio Borini, just on as a substitute, thrashes the ball in from 20 yards after Randolph runs off his line to gather a cross from the left, fumbles and then falls!
Updated
Barkley clears off the line for the second time today, this time stopping Steven Ward’s header as it headed goalwards!
At Sunderland, following an extended delay while he was treated, Billy Jones is being loaded onto a stretcher after sustaining an apparently serious injury.
It must be a bad for Billy to be down this long...
— Sunderland AFC (@SunderlandAFC) April 15, 2017
Updated
GOAL! Stoke 3-1 Hull City!
Shaqiri scores an absolute blinder, and Hull’s away travails continue! It might have been worse – Walters had hit the underside of the crossbar a couple of minutes earlier!
Updated
Tonight’s late Premier League game, between Southampton and Manchester City, will be contested by this lot:
Southampton: Forster, Cedric, Stephens, Yoshida, Bertrand, Davis, Hojbjerg, Ward-Prowse, Tadic, Redmond, Gabbiadini. Subs: Clasie, Long, Rodriguez, Caceres, Martina, Boufal, Hassen.
Man City: Bravo, Jesus Navas, Kompany, Otamendi, Clichy, Toure, Fernandinho, De Bruyne, Silva, Sane, Aguero. Subs: Zabaleta, Fernando, Sterling, Kolarov, Caballero, Iheanacho, Garcia.
Referee: Neil Swarbrick.
Watford have the ball in the net again, the substitute Okaka chesting down Janmaat’s cross and sending a scissor-kick past Fabianski, but the offside flag is up – and quite right too. Deeney was also offside, by way of bonus.
A notable milestone, this:
50 - Leighton Baines is the first defender to reach 50 @premierleague assists. Swashbuckler.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) April 15, 2017
GOAL! Everton 3-1 Burnley!
And that you would think is that. Romelu Lukaku turns and thunders a left-foot shot in at the near post from close range, and Everton go fifth!
Updated
I haven’t mentioned Ndong’s miss for Sunderland, which is as he’d like it. Anyway, it was a proper stinker: Khazri controlled the ball beautifully on the right edge of the area, rolled it into Ndong’s path, and from 15 yards he sent it flying miserably high.
Updated
And in Spain, Alvaro Morata has equalised for Real Madrid, who are now drawing 2-2 at Sporting Gijon.
GOAL! Everton 2-1 Burnley
Ross Barkley scores! Or maybe someone else did! It depends!
Everton 2 Burnley 1. Ross Barkley, somewhat inevitably after this week, with a shot that deflects past Tom Heaton.
— Andy Hunter (@AHunterGuardian) April 15, 2017
Updated
GOAL! Crystal Palace 2-2 Leicester!
Palace’s come back from two goals down is complete, and Christian Benteke is the man wot done it!
Updated
Lovely cross that, and a lovely header. Fine work.
GOAL! Stoke 2-1 Hull!
The substitutes combine to give Stoke the lead! Walters crosses, Crouch heads, and it’s 2-1!
Another Fuchs long throw for Leicester leads to another close shave for Palace, but this one is flicked onto the roof of the net.
Meanwhile in Spain, Sporting Gijon have gone 2-1 up against Real Madrid, Mikel Vesga with the goal.
126 - There were just 126 seconds between Phil Jagielka's goal and Sam Vokes winning Burnley's penalty at Goodison Park. Turnaround.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) April 15, 2017
Stoke are hunting for goals, bringing Crouch and Walters on for Berahino and Adam, and the latter very nearly scores within seconds of his introduction, only for his diving header to be smartly saved.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 1-2 Leicester
Crikey, it’s all gone a little goal-crazy has it not? Cabaye gets Palace back into it, shooting low and hard from the penalty spot after Schlupp’s shot deflects to him.
Updated
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-2 Leicester!
Leicester have a corner, from which Leicester break, Vardy is sent racing down the right, and he stops, turns, and shoots left-footed inside the far post!
Updated
GOAL! Everton 1-1 Burnley!
Vokes pops the penalty in, Robles making his job a little easier by diving very far to his left very early indeed, presenting the Burnley player with most of an empty goal. Not the finest few minutes for the goalkeeper.
Updated
GOAL! Stoke 1-1 Hull!
Maguire’s deflected shot goes in, and Hull are on level terms!
Updated
Penalty for Burnley!
Everton’s lead might not last very long, after Robles storms out for no obvious reason to clatter into Vokes!
GOAL! Everton 1-0 Burnley!
Another corner leads to another goal, this time Everton’s set piece is curling away from goal, is nicely flicked towards the back post, and is headed in there by Jagielka, his third goal in three games!
Updated
Sigurdsson works himself a very fine shooting chance at Vicarage Road, fooling Prödl with a dummy, checking onto his left foot, and then scooping wide.
GOAL! Sunderland 1-2 West Ham!
The Hammers are back in the leaad, James Collins heading in a Snodgrass corner. Marking, anyone? Nope?
Updated
And we’re back under way. Here’s a celebratory rainbow photo:
Ayew appears to have recovered, as he’s among the West Ham players who have just come out for the second half.
Ooh, that Arnautovic goal against Hull was handsome. A very fine shot from the edge of the area that ripped into the top corner. Yum.
Random foreign stuffwatch!
In other news, it’s a big day for 1-0 away leads in key global fixtures, as you can see:
Newells Old Boys 0-0 Estudiantes
Wolfsberger 0-1 Salzburg
Sileks 0-0 Vardar
Jestinstvo 0-1 Bokelj
Sporting Gijon 1-1 Real Madrid (after half an hour)
Olimpik Donetsk 0-2 Shakhtar Donetsk
Al-Wahda 0-1 Al-Ahli
Updated
It’s also half time at the Stadium of Light, but Ayew can’t go off because he’s lying on the turf clutching his left knee, and looks in genuine pain.
Into stoppage time in most grounds, but they’ve already finished the first half at Vicarage Road, where Watford take their 1-0 lead into the break.
GOAL! Watford 1-0 Swansea!
That’s a defensive howler of the most enormous proportions! A Watford attack peters out, Swansea win the ball and pass it around a bit in defence, but when Capoue closes down Mawson the defender tries to take the ball past him, fails, and the Frenchman is clear on goal! Fabianski saves his right-foot shot, but is helpless with his left-foot follow-up!
Updated
“Given that we here in the US can see any game we want I’ve decided to watch Mark Clattenburg strut his stuff at Goodison Park,” writes JR in Illinois. “There aren’t going to be many more chances to see him before he takes his talents to Saudi Arabia, you know. He’s in imperious form by the way. He’s reffing like he just got back from a stag do in Tallinn this morning.” Well that’s good to hear, I think we can all agree.
West Ham go close! Like their goal, it’s a ball in from the right that Carroll rescues from beyond the far post and sends back across goal for Ayew, but the striker, at full stretch, shoots over the bar and Snodgrass, just behind him, leaps up and down in comic frustration as the chance is missed!
Lingering shots of flying crisp packets and polystyrene burger cartons flying about suggest it’s pretty windy at Sunderland, which may also have aided that corner’s flight towards goal.
Real Madrid have just scored, Isco on the scoresheet, to get themselves back on level terms at Gijon, where it’s now 1-1.
Updated
Another chance for Swansea, but Ki’s shot when well placed to the left of goal is a bit sorry for itself and rolls apologetically into Gomes’s arms.
GOAL! Sunderland 1-1 West Ham
Sunderland equalise direct from a corner! Khazri curls the ball in, Anichebe is standing right in front of Randolph and blocking his path, and with the goalkeeper helpless it misses everyone and goes in off the far post! I don’t see how that’s not a foul by Anichebe, but I guess they deserve a little luck.
Updated
What a save! Watford came so close to scoring there! Janmaat crosses, Deeney shoots into the ground and the ball bounces and heads towards the top corner, but Fabianski tips it past the post!
Sunderland get a corner, and roll the ball across the edge of the area where Darron Gibson is in all sorts of space, but the midfielder falls over as he prepares to shoot, and skies the ball high and wide.
A couple of other close shaves: Snodgrass’s 20-yarder goes just wide for West Ham, and at Vicarage Road Niang’s free-kick from a wonderful shooting position is saved by Fabianski.
Impossible miss! Hull cross from the right, and somehow Niasse is in all sorts of space on the edge of the area, but he prods at it tentatively, only just touches it, and it goes wide.
So far so good for Swansea, though: Hull are losing, Sunderland are losing, Crystal Palace are losing, and they’re playing well at Watford. No goals yet, but plenty of encouragement. Fulton has just lashed a 20-yard shot wide after a corner was semi-cleared.
Goal-saving header! A Burnley corner is headed goalwards by Michael Keane, and it was dropping in at the far post before Barkley popped up to head clear.
Updated
Hibernian go a goal up at home to Queen of the South, Darren McGregor heading in, and as things stand they’re sealing the Scottish Championship title today.
That goal makes Arnautovic the highest-scoring Austrian in Premier League history with 22. Paul Scharner had held the record before him.
GOAL! Stoke 1-0 Hull!
This happened a while ago, to be fair. Marko Arnautovic scored it, and he might have had another since but put a fine chance wide.
Updated
Save! Swansea nearly score at Vicarage Road – Sigurdsson, obviously – but Gomes pushes it away!
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 Leicester!
Robert Huth runs in suspiciously unmarked and heads in a long throw from the left. That’s as simple as goals get. Joel Ward ends up jumping against him, and gets nowhere near winning it.
Updated
GOAL! Sunderland 0-1 West Ham!
Ayew gives the visitors a fifth-minute lead. A long cross from the right is volleyed back across goal by Carroll and Ayew controls and passes into the corner from five yards!
Updated
Super save! West Ham win a free kick 20 yards out, and Lanzini’s curler was on its way in before Pickford dived to his left to push it clear!
3pm: they’re off!
The teams are out, and action but a couple of minutes away.
“USA’s Lynden Gooch continues his quest to make it to the Sunderland subs bench,” writes Woolie Madden – he’s failed again today, and has played only 12 minutes since September. “One can only imagine how differently the Black Cats’ season might have panned out if the man that Marca once called ‘An all-action American hero in the vein of DaMarcus Beasley’ had a few mores chances to share in the team’s defensive achievements this season. A more cynical man might suggest that he was bought simply to boost the club’s shirt sales in California, where his footballing prowess have made him a household name.”
Tony Adams has developed a few moves since the days when he just put his arm in the air and looked at the linesman @Simon_Burnton
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) April 15, 2017
Indeed he has. I think he’s also suffering from the Englishman-abroad habit of making up for linguistic shortcomings with comically exaggerated gesticulation.
This is super.
Jack Butland is in Stoke’s squad for the first time in 13 months after recovering from a fractured ankle, and will be on the bench for the game against Hull. Welcome back, Jack!
Sheffield United’s players have made a right mess of their training ground:
🎥 On the spot reaction from the training ground as the Blades are confirmed as Champions 🏆 #twitterblades #ForgedInSteel pic.twitter.com/YHjt0QzksW
— Sheffield United (@SUFC_tweets) April 15, 2017
No Bale, no Ronaldo and no Benzema for Real Madrid today. They’re not even on the bench:
📝✅ #RMLiga#RealMadrid XI 🏃 🆚 @RealSporting.
— Real Madrid C.F. (@realmadridfra) April 15, 2017
🙌 VAMOS! 🙌#HalaMadrid #RMMovistar pic.twitter.com/EKHc7JlDhi
Sheffield United are League One champions!
Because Bolton have lost 1-0 at 10-man Oldham.
Spurs have wrapped up 4-0 win at home to Bournemouth, to trim Chelsea’s lead at the top of the table to four points (with a game in hand). It’s Tottenham’s seventh successive league win, the first time they’ve done that since 1967.
Since there’s only one Championship game, I might as well put those teams up here too:
Aston Villa: Johnstone, Hutton, Chester, Baker, Amavi, Hourihane, Jedinak, Lansbury, Adomah, Kodjia, Bacuna. Subs: Richards, Elphick, Hogan, Bree, Gardner, Sarkic, Grealish.
Reading: Al Habsi, Gunter, Moore, Blackett, Obita, Williams, Kelly, Popa, Swift, Grabban, Mendes. Subs: Evans, McCleary, Kermorgant, Meite, Tiago Ilori, Jaakkola, Mutch.
Referee: Scott Duncan.
Premier League teams
Get yer Premier League team news ’ere!
Crystal Palace v Leicester
Crystal Palace: Hennessey, Ward, Kelly, Sakho, Schlupp, Milivojevic, Cabaye, Townsend, Puncheon, Zaha, Christian Benteke. Subs: Speroni, Van Aanholt, Flamini, Campbell, McArthur, Sako, Delaney.
Leicester: Schmeichel, Simpson, Benalouane, Huth, Fuchs, Mahrez, Ndidi, King, Albrighton, Vardy, Ulloa. Subs: Chilwell, Drinkwater, Musa, Amartey, Okazaki, Zieler, Gray.
Referee: Mike Dean.
Everton v Burnley
Everton: Robles, Holgate, Jagielka, Ashley Williams, Baines, Gana, Schneiderlin, Davies, Barkley, Lukaku, Mirallas. Subs: Barry, Valencia, Stekelenburg, Calvert-Lewin, Lookman, Pennington, Kenny.
Burnley: Heaton, Lowton, Keane, Mee, Ward, Brady, Barton, Hendrick, Boyd, Vokes, Barnes. Subs: Flanagan, Gray, Defour, Westwood, Tarkowski, Pope, Agyei.
Referee: Mark Clattenburg.
Stoke v Hull
Stoke: Grant, Shawcross, Martins Indi, Muniesa, Johnson, Cameron, Adam, Pieters, Shaqiri, Arnautovic, Berahino. Subs: Butland, Bardsley, Diouf, Walters, Imbula, Crouch, Sobhi.
Hull: Jakupovic, Ranocchia, Dawson, Maguire, Markovic, N’Diaye, Huddlestone, Clucas, Robertson, Grosicki, Niasse. Subs: Hernandez, Maloney, Mbokani, Henriksen, Marshall, Elmohamady, Evandro.
Referee: Stuart Atwell.
Sunderland v West Ham
Sunderland: Pickford, Jones, O’Shea, Denayer, Manquillo, Cattermole, Ndong, Gibson, Khazri, Defoe, Anichebe. Subs: Mannone, Djilobodji, Rodwell, Borini, Pienaar, Kone, Januzaj.
West Ham: Randolph, Byram, Collins, Fonte, Masuaku, Ayew, Fernandes, Kouyate, Snodgrass, Lanzini, Carroll. Subs: Cresswell, Nordtveit, Feghouli, Adrian, Fletcher, Calleri, Rice.
Referee: Andre Marriner.
Watford v Swansea
Watford: Gomes, Janmaat, Prodl, Mariappa, Holebas, Capoue, Doucoure, Cleverley, Amrabat, Deeney, Niang. Subs: Success, Behrami, Kabasele, Pantilimon, Mason, Okaka, Pereira.
Swansea: Fabianski, Naughton, Fernandez, Mawson, Olsson, Fer, Ki, Fulton, Narsingh, Llorente, Sigurdsson. Subs: Ayew, Van der Hoorn, Borja Baston, Nordfeldt, Routledge, Kingsley, Carroll.
Referee: Lee Mason.
Hello world!
And merry Easterish Saturday to you all. Now in football terms yesterday was Good Friday in both diary and literal sense, with some genuinely exciting and important Football League action. Today, though, is Disappointing Saturday: there’s the regular allocation of Premier League matches, but beyond that it’s all a bit barren, at least in England (Scotland is chock-full of fitba fun). Hence I’ve had to go international in my search for excitement, although quite whether the Press Association and Soccer Saturday will combine to keep me, and thus in due course you, fully up to date with goings-on in the Montanegrin top flight I am not entirely sure. Anyway, I’ll do my very best.
So without further ado, my I introduce today’s 3pm kick-offular fixtures:
English Premier League
C Palace v Leicester
Everton v Burnley
Stoke v Hull
Sunderland v West Ham
Watford v Swansea
Championship
Can Aston Villa derail Reading’s play-off charge
Scottish Championship
The big news here is that Hibernian will be promoted as champions if they get more points at home to Queen of the South than Falkirk manage against St Mirren
Bonus foreign stuff because there isn’t really much going on here
So I’ve sifted through the entire word’s 3pm BST kick-offs, and these are, I believe, all the important ones:
Argentina: Second against third, as Newell’s Old Boys host Estudiantes
Austria: Salzburg are running away with the title, with a lead of 12 points over second-place Rheindorf Altach, and with goal difference superior by a hilarious +38. Today they visit Wolfsberger
Macedonia: Five fixtures in the First League, including table-topping Vardar at Sileks
Montenegro: Six games here, with the bottom two facing off as Jedinstvo host Bokelj
Spain: Relegation-haunted Sporting Gijon host the league leaders, Real Madrid (3.15pm BST kick-off for this one)
Tunisia: Tataouine are neck-deep in relegation trouble and desperately need a win at home to Kairouan
Ukraine: it’s the Donetsk derby, title-chasing Shakhtar visiting Olimpik
UAE: Al Ahli, in second but 11 points behind Al Jazira (with a game in hand) visit Al Wahda in the Arabian Gulf League
Updated
