Sunday night viewers are currently spoilt for choice
At 9pm, across three channels, we had the Battle of Middle Britain: Tory voters and the apolitical were doing their ironing to Downton Abbey (Sunday, ITV1); New Labour supporters (currently replacing shy Tories as the Voters Who Dare Not Speak Their Name) were watching This is England ’90 (Sunday, Channel 4); and everyone else was watching The Go-Between (Sunday, BBC1). On Twitter, it was also noted that there was a further clash with Keeping Up with the Kardashians (presumably the Corbynite guilty pleasure): “It’s a TiVo meltdown nightmare.”
Verdict? Downton Abbey was not as painful as expected (see the series blog for more), neither was it a return to the (unusually good) form of the first series. It may yet rally. As for the script and performances in This is England ’90 ... extraordinary: real, raw, knowing, original. (“Shaun – you was in bits over Michelle...” “Am I a penis?” “I’ll give you a clue. I call you it all the time.” “Oh, Myra Hindley.” “I’ll keep these bad boys to meself.”) The Go-Between was beautifully shot, Brideshead Revisited-style: “The past is another country. They do things differently there.” Possibly the most successful of the BBC1 Classic season so far. So who was the victor? Acting. (Or maybe The Kardashians. I don’t know. I didn’t catch that. I figure they’re probably the winners, cash-wise anyway.)
You don’t need to watch TV; just watch Gogglebox
The new Gogglebox series slogan: “Everyone else is thinking it. They say it.” Too right. Gogglebox (Friday, Channel 4) is on the best form with this new series. And now that we’re so far beyond tipping point of having too much TV to watch that we might as well just give up and invite the neighbours round to play Monopoly (actually this is so not a bad idea), this really has become the most efficient way to catch up on all the essential telly events.
Some classic Leon moments this week. On First Dates: “She blow-dries what? Her pokey? No!” On the Cameron/Yorkshire debacle: “Dickie Bird’s an idiot, June. An absolute idiot.” And the ultimate Leonism: “We. All. Hate. You. Cameron.”
In other news: Scarlett didn’t know what evaporated milk was (you’re well out of it, Scarlett), the taciturn German was caught speaking in a very cute version of his native language to a puppy and the Siddiqui family had Corbynism nailed: “Never trust a Jeremy. Jeremy Clarkson … Jeremy Kyle … You can’t trust a Jeremy. They’re sneaky.” Pause. “Jeremy Beadle! Now he was a trickster.” So true!
Only go to X Factor boot camp if you have a very strong constitution
Be careful what you wish for. You know how I’ve been saying there’s not enough jeopardy in The X Factor (Saturday, Sunday ITV1)? Well, now we’re at boot camp, and I fear there may be too much. Sorry to flip-flop. But really, this was gut-wrenching. Great big hulking hunks of men were reduced to shuddering sobs as they failed to remember the lyrics to Be My Baby by The Ronettes, probably recorded 30 years before their birth. “The night we met I knew I … dippety-doo, ta-da ta-da banana bibble bibble boo.” It was humbling to watch. I only hope St John’s Ambulance were in attendance.
It’s really not clear to me why some of the non-groups get to sing one sentence each and that’s the end of it. And some others sing an entire song. Is that what really happens or are we just seeing edited highlights? Once again – as they regularly point out on Gogglebox – there is still the sense that we are being played for fools and not seeing the whole story.
Near the end, for a chilling moment, I decided that Simon Cowell was the hardest-hearted man in the universe. But, of course, it was all pantomime. “I want to thank you all for what you’ve done. I hope this has been a great experience for you”. He separated the group and made it seem as if half of them were leaving and half were staying. Then: “You’re all through to the next round.” The contestants will need a cardiac specialist as well as a voice coach.
