Sun Belt Heat Week 1: Bully Bully
The Sun Belt shifts from taking on P5 powerhouses in Week 1 to padding its stats in Week 2
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Week One was a narrative of incomplete stories. South Alabama hung in there with Nebraska. Louisiana made it interesting against Mississippi State. Arkansas State lost by a touchdown to SMU, as did Coastal Carolina to Eastern Michigan.
Yes, the Belt also slammed the book on all FCS challengers (thank you Mountaineers, Trojans and Warhawks), but the conference also received its share of brutality and abuse (Texas State and Georgia Southern, we salute you).
Thank God for Georgia State.
Coming into Knoxville, the Panthers had wins over 10 FBS programs in its entire history. Ten defeated FBS foes! Shawn Elliot and future Sun Belt Offensive Player of the Week Dan Ellington didn’t care, though, trouncing the Volunteers 38-30 and then chilling the victory with some ice cold shade:
I declare that a win for Western Kentucky, too. But Georgia State ain’t finished wiping up the streets of Atlanta with Tennessee dignity:
But that’s Week One, which is done. Week Two is new, and it’s a rare week when the majority of the Sun Belt is favored by Vegas to defeat their opponents. It’s Body Bag Week, Baby! Time to pile up stats and wins, bruh!
Charlotte 49ers @ Appalachian State Mountaineers, Saturday, September 7, 2:30 PM on ESPN+
The Mountaineers have 21.5 points with which to play
It’s always a pleasure to welcome our distant relatives from the CUSA to Sun Belt Country. The 49ers opened the season with a drumming of FCS Gardner-Webb, leading to this hilariously hyper-stoked moment in the the Charlotte locker room:
The Mountaineers should be be a tough enough opponent to keep Coach Will Healy’s shirt on. Unless the weather is nice in Boone. Then Healy may opt to jog a couple laps around the track at halftime.
ULM Warhawks @ Florida State Seminoles, Saturday, September 7, 4:00 PM on ACC Network
Vegas gives the thirsty ones a three TD edge
Florida State fell apart in the second half against Boise State in Week One, leading to a curious diagnosis from head coach Willie Taggart. The team had better stock up on Dasani for the Warhawks, who didn’t exactly take Grambling to the woodshed in Week 1 but did come away with a victory. Warhawk running back Jabari Johnson ran for 173 YDS and 2 TDs against Grambling. Maybe he saved some scores and yards for the Seminoles.
Maine Black Bears @ Georgia Southern Eagles, Saturday, September 7, 5:00 PM on ESPN+
Maine have a 14.6% chance to deepen the Eagles’ chagrin
How do you follow up a 55-3 trashing from the nation’s sixth best team? Why, you kick your leading running back off the team for academic violations, of course:
Yikes! News of Wesley Kennedy’s suspension came after the LSU thumping, and while Kennedy probably couldn’t have prevented LSU from dominating, he might have been useful against the Black Bears. But what likely concerns the Eagles most was that LSU’s Joe Burrow tossed five TD passes on Saturday, punching a big dent Georgia Southern’s pass defense mystique. Maine QB Chris Ferguson put up 423 YDS, 3 TDs on Sacred Heart on Saturday. Eagles need to perform well on this test to right the ship.
Furman Paladins @ Georgia State Panthers, Saturday, September 7, 6:00 PM on ESPN+
The Paladins ALSO have a 14.6% chance to win, which just seems lazy, ESPN
All I know about Furman is that 1) they beat Charleston Southern last week 46-13, and 2) five different Paladins rushed for TDs. That’s a pretty hefty ground game. On a normal season, that might worry the Panthers, except Georgia State held Tennessee to a paltry 93 yards in Week 1. But then again, the SEC doesn’t mean as much as it used to.
Jackson State Tigers @ South Alabama Jaguars, Saturday, September 7, 6:00 PM on ESPN+
Jags have a 97.5% chance to win this catfight
Tigers! Jaguars! Ladd-Peebles asbestos!
O’Doul’s “Maintain Your Edge” Game of the Week
Wyoming Cowboys @ Texas State Bobcats, Saturday, September 7, 6:00PM on ESPN+
Cowboys have the 7-point Edge
Maybe you’ve heard: Wyoming defeated Missouri in Week 1. Best of all, more than just a few astute gamblers got paid as a result:
Whiskey shots are on Craig! The Cowboys will be riding into San Marcos hot on Saturday, ready to take on a Bobcats team that donated 41 points and 478 total yards to Texas A&M’s favorite charity. Not helping the Bobcats: a QB conundrum for new head coach Jake Spavital, who needs to decide whether he’d rather see Tyler Vitt or Gresch Jensen throw picks to the Wyoming secondary.
Coastal Carolina Chanticleers @ Kansas Jayhawks, Saturday, September 7, 6:00 PM on ESPN+
A TD + a 2-point conversion spread for the Jayhawks
If you like Sun Belt teams pooping on P5 teams, you may want to save your premium bottles of O’Doul’s for this game. Les Miles and the Jayhawks barely escaped the clutches of the Indiana State Sycamores last week. It just gets tougher for Miles, who will have to contend with the Chanticleers’ “What the Hell Is THIS?” offense. Of course, if Coastal QB Fred Payton throws another four picks like he did against Eastern Michigan, the Chants will likely be eating Les Miles’ delicious grass all night.
Liberty Flames @ Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns, Saturday, September 7, 6:30 PM on ESPN+
Hugh Freeze and his hospital bed are a 13-point dog
You’ve seen this, I know, but you’re going to have to see it again:
Either Hugh is really dedicated to the craft of coaching college football, or his athletic director is a real bastard. Anyway, the Cajuns didn’t look bad against Mississippi State last week.
Arkansas State Red Wolves @ UNLV Rebels, Saturday, September 7, 9:00 PM on FACEBOOK?!?
Vegas gave the Rebels a homey 1.5 points
What’s not to LIKE about this game? Listen, you don’t read this column for the clever word play. You read it for penetrating analysis. And my analysis is that this game is at 9:00 PM on Facebook, when most of your weird uncles will be posting conspiracy theory memes.
Red Wolves dispatched the Rebels last year in Jonesboro during a biblical wind & rain storm. The weather forecast for Saturday is clear skies and 95 dry degrees, which means we should get a more realistic level of both teams’ capabilities. (Wesley Snipes voice) And thanks to the Red Wolves color scheme, you can bet on black or red and still come out a winner.
A former notary public, Jeremy Harper is a professional writer and Chief Instigator for Storm the Castle Creative. He spends much of his free time staring blankly into space.
