I agree with your columnist Chitra Ramaswamy that Keira Knightley should not be criticised for being open about how vaginal childbirth can be messy, painful and mutilating (The attacks on Keira Knightley are misogynist, G2, 10 October). The suffering of childbirth is made acceptable by its glorification, in the same way that soldiers are fooled into volunteering to go to war. Now that more women in our country have their babies later, and the babies are getting bigger, the suffering caused by a difficult birth is on the increase.
As a GP doing postnatal checks on my patients, I see fewer having their first baby who haven’t had a major complication such as a prolonged labour, shoulder getting stuck, bad tear, retained placenta, postpartum haemorrhage or post-traumatic stress disorder. An awful lot go through a full labour then still end up with a caesarean section. It would seem sensible if more elective caesarians were carried out, say if the baby’s estimated birth weight was over 4kg for a first baby, but this is unacceptable to the mindset of our current establishment of midwives and obstetricians.
I wonder why it was considered shameful when China’s caesarean rate was 60% under its one-child policy. Misogyny does come to mind, as Ramaswamy suggests. To me the main justification for the trauma of a first vaginal delivery is that it opens up the pathway to facilitate subsequent childbirths.
Dr Hilary Farey
Bristol
• Lizzy Gwilliam correctly refers to the need for a disabled mother to “prepare to be a novelty” (The secret to… preparing for a baby if you have a disability, Weekend, 13 October). Mothers and mothers-to-be with a disability routinely feel like a novelty, and a peculiarity to be managed or tolerated. While this is clearly preferable to being discriminated against or mistreated, it can lead to disabled mothers feeling othered, isolated and disengaged from mainstream parenting.
It is my experience that disabled mothers long for community and support from other mums and mums-to-be who understand their abilities and the adaptations they use to make things work.
Mums Like Us is a network for disabled mothers that aims to provide that community. You can find us on Facebook. There is practical information, a blog and more personal stories on our website. Mums Like Us is 100% non profit.
Sally Darby
Founder, Mums Like Us – a network for disabled mothers
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