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Wales Online
Wales Online
National
Christine Younan & Brett Gibbons

'Submarining' is latest dating trend - and it can bring heartache for victims

It hasn't been easy for couples to keep in touch and singletons to continue dating during the coronavirus lockdown.

Technology has been really helpful for many people who have been using WhatsApp, FaceTime or even Zoom to catch up.

But modern romance has seen an influx of new dating terms and behaviours during 2020, DailyStarOnline reports.

The first new dating trend to emerge during the pandemic was Zumping, but it's been followed by submarining – and it’s a lot worse than anything you’ve ever heard of before.

It’s also known as “zombieing”, and happens when someone distances themselves and once you're over them, they try to come back into your life.

Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach and author, said: “People may choose to resurface for a lot of reasons, but more often than not, it's out of insecurity or boredom.

"Maybe they just stopped seeing someone, maybe they're sick of being trapped indoors, or maybe they just need some validation and are hoping to get it from you.

“Whatever the reason, it's pretty unlikely that it's because this person actually cares about you. It's more likely that they want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves."

You need to be very careful when linking to online dating sites (PA)

Submarining is no better than traditional ghosting - when someone you care about disappears from your life - because it involves the same apparent lack of awareness or concern for the other person’s feelings.

Gigi continued: “If someone is actually into you, they don't disappear out of nowhere. If someone did just get 'scared' or whatever and disappeared, that's a red flag in itself.

“Someone who doesn't have enough emotional intelligence to at least send a polite text that they aren't interested in moving forward is probably not someone you want to get serious about."

Whether you decide they deserve another chance or not is completely up to you. But, don’t forget that you’ve already witnessed them pull off the disappearing act.

Gigi added: “You can respond however you see fit. If you really want to give this person another chance, that's up to you.

"Just be aware that this is likely not going to end well for you. I would advise not getting involved again, as it's likely to wind up ending in disappointment again.

“If you're feeling gutsy, you can reply to their submarine text and tell them that this is a lame thing to do and if they wanted to chat with you, they shouldn't have been so rude to you."

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