In retirement, what are the first things to let go of? Definitely, the 6.30am alarm call. Probably, those sad pair of brown dress shoes. And quite possibly, your whisker-free face. Years of being chained to the bathroom sink, bottle of grey sky coloured goo in one hand and blunt razor in the other, could be a distant memory.
The retirement beard is quite a thing. Infamously, David Letterman went full-on Paleolithic man when he bid farewell to The Late Show, recently reflecting (with a soupcon of existential angst): “I just got tired of shaving every day. But then it became something else, and I’m not sure what it became.”
It seems odd then that Tiger Woods has opted for a retirement beard that’s not just styled, it’s styled. Perhaps it was too much to expect the highly controlled hand of a professional sportsperson to let it all hang out, beard-wise. But we did not foresee the grooming decision that Woods has made.
Wood is not settling into old age; he has applied the facial equivalent of Botox to himself with a look that presumably would not fly with the sponsors of the Ryder Cup. Essentially, he has co-opted a look made famous by two of pop music’s favourite sons: AJ McClean from the Backstreet Boys and Craig David. With its finely manicured sides and trimmed upper lip, Wood’s skinny short boxed beard is peak Kisstory.
Bang on trend in some ways (hey, who doesn’t love love love the 90s?) and a bit funky dad at the school disco.
