Nicola Sturgeon has told how she went for counselling for the first time after breaking down in tears while giving evidence to the UK Covid-19 Inquiry – with the former first minister saying she was “really worried” at the time that she might not be able to stop crying.
She said crying at the inquiry in January 2024 was “such a raw moment”.
As Scotland’s longest serving first minster, she was in charge of the country when the pandemic hit.
She gave hundreds of televised daily media briefings, updating the country on the fight against the virus. But she also came in for criticism for some decisions, such as transferring elderly hospital patients into care homes early in the outbreak without Covid tests being done on them.
She became tearful when she gave evidence to the inquiry as she told how “of the many regrets” she has, “chief of those is that we didn’t lock down a week, two weeks earlier than we did”.
Ms Sturgeon, speaking as her memoir Frankly was published, said she had “spent so long” preparing to give evidence to the inquiry, and “thinking so deeply about all the decisions I had taken, the ones I thought were right, the ones that with hindsight maybe weren’t”.
She told the BBC Newscast podcast: “I don’t think I properly prepared myself for the emotional impact of sitting in an inquiry.
“I had been through a pretty torrid time in the months leading up to that.
“I had worried that I might get emotional, but in that moment it wasn’t just the breaking down and starting to cry, in that moment I was really worried I wasn’t able to stop crying.
“It was just such a raw moment.”
Ms Sturgeon continued: “In the period since standing down, lots of difficult stuff had happened. That was my lowest moment.
“It just in that moment felt I was very, very close to the edge, I just lost all sense of perspective, all sense of who I was.”
Adding that she was “in a really bad state” at that time, Ms Sturgeon said: “For the first and only time in my life I actually went for some counselling because I felt I needed something to help me regain that sense of equilibrium and perspective on life.”
She said a friend had “persuaded” her to do this, and she is “glad” she did it.
“Thankfully, reasonably quickly I managed to regain a firmer footing on life,” Ms Sturgeon said.
She also stressed she did her “best” during the Covid pandemic, but “like leaders everywhere, I didn’t get everything right”.
She added: “I absolutely, and I can hand on heart say this, I did my best every single day.”
