As Stuart Lancaster subjected himself to a final media grilling in suburban Manchester on Sunday morning it was hard not to recall his very first press conference in December 2011. Back then, having been given the role on a temporary basis, he had no idea how long he would be England’s head coach but spoke persuasively about clearing up the mess he had inherited following the 2011 World Cup.
Four years on the glint is long gone, the stench of another embarrassing World Cup failure hangs in the autumnal air and Lancaster finds himself in limbo once again. So, too, does English rugby as it absorbs this latest masterclass in mediocrity. What could be harder than trying to articulate to a forest of microphones where it all went pear-shaped? Lancaster will shortly find out when he attends a Downing Street reception with the head coaches of England’s major rivals. “Hi, Warren, how’s it going?” “Good luck against the Wallabies, Vern.” The photographs could inspire a thousand caption competitions.
It is a gruesome way for a good man to bow out but, sadly, Lancaster’s hopes and dreams bear increasingly little resemblance to current reality. Apart from failing to make it out of their World Cup pool, not winning a Six Nations title in four attempts, having two assistant coaches banned for harassing match officials, omitting to field their best-available midfield combination until the final 20 minutes against Uruguay and struggling to accommodate their star signing from rugby league just about everything has gone perfectly. Lancaster, however, is still portraying England as only a couple of dodgy refereeing decisions away from being serious World Cup contenders, as if the 20-point drubbing by Australia never happened.
It is not an argument built to withstand prolonged scrutiny, regardless of England’s 10-try victory over a valiant but tiring Uruguay. Let us assume England had not frozen in the final quarter against Wales, had scrambled a draw and sneaked into the last eight. Could anyone honestly say they would be favourites, even on their own patch, against a South Africa team they have not beaten during Lancaster’s tenure? And then defeat the All Blacks? It is wishful thinking on an industrial scale to imagine they would have done so.
A month ago many thought they might reach the final, so something has clearly gone horribly awry. What no one factored in was the sudden wobbliness of England’s set piece, the selections that mystified many inside and outside the camp and the gradual realisation that England were not as collectively sharp fitness-wise as they were publicly insisting.
When the 37-year-old Nick Easter – not picked in the original squad and working as a pitchside pundit until a fortnight ago – looks as sprightly as any English forward it is time to wonder why so many of his team-mates were unable to follow suit.
To watch Easter, Henry Slade, Jack Nowell and Danny Care inject freshness and edge to a mostly jaded bunch against Uruguay was also to be reminded that, yet again, England’s selection has been significantly behind the curve. When someone of Brian O’Driscoll’s stature identifies Slade and Jonathan Joseph as a potentially red-hot Test centre pairing, why did no one within the England set-up attempt to try it earlier? As with too many other rejected possibilities that did not fit the orthodox mould – Steffon Armitage, Danny Cipriani, keeping the banned Dylan Hartley involved – it is too late now.
No one could accuse Lancaster of defeatism but he knows the score as well as anyone. To retain him as head coach would make the Rugby Football Union seem weak and ineffectual; all governing bodies notoriously hate that perception. It is reminiscent of the last days of Peter Moores’ tenure as England’s cricket head coach; what English rugby now needs is its own version of Trevor Bayliss.
Whoever takes over, though, will still have to wade through the same intractable problems as his predecessors: a union rather better at making money than winning big matches and a domestic conveyor belt still not producing enough genuinely world-class coaches or players. Is it entirely a coincidence that many of the 2015 quarter-finalists centrally contract at least some of their players while the RFU – the wealthiest union in the world – does not?
It is all well and good to pronounce that England possess the basis of a squad that could win the next Six Nations; frankly, they should be in that position every year as a bare minimum. What is harder to rustle up is the game awareness, ruthlessness, consistency and tactical flexibility needed to adapt to unforeseen circumstances. Australia did not have to rip up their midfield in order to produce two memorable yet utterly contrasting displays and slip into the softer half of the draw that England have long coveted.
Hence the reason why the coming weeks will involve change. Even the Uruguayan game – most memorable for the faithful backing of England’s oft-ignored northern fan base – contained its head-clutching moments as Chris Robshaw and James Haskell shelled passes that no self-respecting All Black would drop. Easter and Nowell will cherish their hat-tricks – Nowell is the youngest England player to score three tries in a Test since 1924 – but the bigger picture cannot be ignored. While Lancaster will for ever deserve praise for reconnecting the national team with a disillusioned English public he has surely taken charge for the final time.
England Goode; Watson (Brown, 66), Slade, Farrell (Joseph, 59), Nowell; Ford, Care (Wigglesworth, 71); M Vunipola (Marler, 71), T Youngs (George, 30), Cole (Wilson, 43) Launchbury, Parling, (Kruis, 55) Haskell (Wood, 62), Robshaw (capt), Easter.
Tries Watson 2, Easter 3, Slade, Nowell 3, penalty try Cons Farrell 4, Ford.
Uruguay Mieres; Gibernau, Prada, Vilaseca, Silva; Berchesi (A Duran,73), Ormaechea (Blengio, 73); Sanguinetti (Corral, 63), Arboleya (O Duran, 71), Sagario (Klappenbach, 63) Vilaseca (capt), Zerbino (Palomeque, 63), Gaminara, Beer (Magno, 69), Nieto (Alonso, 69).
Pen Berchesi.
Sin-bin Vilaseca 40.
Referee C Pollock (NZ). Att 50,778.
