A ship crashes into rocks near Norway, a brand new vessel steers into a stone canal bank, and sailors manage to shoot the bow of their own ship with a cannon - it's mayhem on the high seas, writes Jess Smee in Berlin.
But these are not scenes from some nautical equivalent of Jackass. They're all embarrassments that really happened over the last year ... and they happened to the German navy.
And now, with the nation's maritime reputation holed beneath the waterline, footage has come to light that threatens to send it straight to Davy Jones' locker.
Tens of thousands of schadenfreude fans have visited Youtube to watch footage of two ships crashing expensively into each other off the coast of Lebanon.
Listen out for the cry of "Achtung!"
