Thank you and a glittery goodnight - for now
That concludes Saturday’s liveblog larks. But we’ll be back right here for the first results show of the series, which airs at 7.15pm Sunday on BBC1. I’ll fire the blog back up at 6.45pm for build-up, so I hope you’ll rejoin me then. In the meantime, I’m @michaelhogan on Twitter, so do samba-bounce over and say hi.
Thanks for watching along with me and being such excellent company. Until tomorrow, Team Sparkle. In the meantime, it’s the family motto: keeeeeep dancing! Nighty night.
Poppieshen says: “George Clarke is turning into a decent dancer, isn’t he? That was a dramatic paso and he managed to keep his smiley face off just long enough.”
Phoebe says: “Wowee! That was excellent from George. How can he not have danced before? A-may-zing, darling!”
YodaknowsAll says: “A week 2 Charleston that feels at least week 6. A lovely turn from Balvinder. Cheeky and sassy.”
AndyPandy21 says: “Well done Balvinder! And Julian is clearly a great teacher to get her up to speed like that in a week. Congratulations to both.”
Somersetlass adds: “What a way to close the show! That was fun, flirty and full of technique. Terrific from Balvinder.”
MartGray says: “That was much better from the very manly Chris, love child of Ben Fogle and Sam West.”
davidargile says: “Well, Chris has definitely improved. He seemed very wooden last week. Still slightly awkward but it’s miles better than last week, well done to him.”
diamondcat says: “I’m not quite sure if that was an expression of joy or horror on Vicky Pattison’s face when Shirley said she ‘could go all the way’!
AndyPandy21 adds: “It’s only week 2 , there are issues to iron out but there is an element of delight in the Vicky and Kai partnership.”
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joanieloves says: “Bless him. Ross has improved and I may have to give him a vote as I’d rather he stays than Tom.”
Owbeck says: “Much improved from the Scottish fella. He seemed a little deliberate in his steps but going in the right direction, which we all love to see.”
Dunntalkin says: “Blimey, Ross is playing that Scotland card hard. Surprised he didn’t do the dance with a bagpipe instead of Jowita.”
bewilderedpenguin adds: “Stefan’s hair. Why? He looks like Clare Balding (I like them both, I should stress).”
Irreverentnurse says: “Harry’s got great posture and is light on his feet. I like him.”
02022020 says: “Harry’s got soul and a killer smile. There is hope. Come on, Karen.”
IvanTiger says: “Harry is fab and fun. Excellent quickstep to great music. Plus some Charleston swivels. Wonderful.”
Haigin88 adds: “Harry Aikines-Aryeetey seems like the nicest bloke in the world and looks like the kind who’ll work to improve every week.”
GreatIsMyNewt says: “I hope Tommy Bosh is on soon as I need to start serving tea.”
Aine183 says: “Oh. This is the first really dreadful dance of the night.”
girlpanic says: “Ooh, that reminds me, I need to order the Christmas turkey.”
dAsgoyne adds: “Amy! Hasn’t the poor girl suffered enough?”
ReclinedPotato says: “As much as I like Alex and JoJo, I have to say that her face sold the dance more than her legs did. Solid effort but a bit lacking in va-va-voom for me!”
AndyPandy21 says: “I love the fact that Alex and Johannes dance from the heart as well as the feet. An inspiration to put them together.”
Heartticker says: “Didn’t think I could love Vito any more but watching his care with Ellie, they melted my heart.”
YodaknowsAll adds: “Ellie is treading on some people’s misconceptions with every beautiful step of that waltz. My favourite so far, even if it’s not the best.”
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Phoebe says: Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink tried so hard in that dance, it warmed the cockles of my heart.
G1adys says: “Jimmy and Lauren working well together. I see a long run for these two, fingers crossed.”
gliese says: “Omgosh, can’t unsee the Hasselhoff bulge!”
diamondcat adds: “Tess, no one was looking at Jimmy’s face!”
TheMathDiva says: “La Voix and Aljaž were very entertaining but the comic aspect will start to get tiring if decent dance doesn’t show up.”
MarkRoche says: “Love La Voix, adore Aljaz, hated the choice of music for a jive.”
girlpanic says: “I really enjoyed Karen Carney’s jive last week. I didn’t feel this dance suited her anywhere near as well, unfortunately. She was doing the moves but it didn’t flow.”
Vicc says: “Wow, that lighting and frock! What a tango! I don’t see all the mistakes that are being pointed and really hope that Karen and Carlos go far!”
MartGray adds: “Not keen on Motsi’s comment about seeing how far Karen can ‘challenge’ her spine condition. I imagine she knows.”
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Readers’ verdicts are in
A rapid-fire round-up of your wisest and wittiest words. Phoebe says: “Claudia’s fringe is the longest I’ve ever seen it. She’ll be tripping over it if she isn’t careful. She’s having to hold her head high and look down her nose so she can actually peer out.”
Somersetlass says: “Two things I’m finding refreshing so far this year: some useful instructive critiques from the judges and far more realistic scoring. Long may it last.”
EastofStratford says: “Neil has found his niche. Cake bearer. Though I note they don’t trust him with fire or sharp things so no candles, no knives.”
emilyscatnaps adds: “Lewis’s brother gets a ticket through the ballot? Yeah, right. SOME of us, love, have put in for that ballot for TEN FECKIN’ YEARS and still haven’t been granted the opportunity to sit on an uncomfortable chair for six hours, with the added thrill of a glimpse of Dave Arch and The Wunnerfuls! (Hi Dave! Hi Wunnerfuls!).”
Twanging guitars or Timothée Chalamet? It's a toss-up
TV viewers can stay on BBC1 for The Weakest Link’s Radio 2 special (c’mon, Rylan and Sally Traffic) or flip to BBC2 for Grand Ole Opry Live: 100 Years of Country Music.
Then there’s true crime with The Essex Murders: Who Killed Goldfinger? (9pm on Sky Documentaries) or made-up crime with Nine Bodies in a Mexican Morgue (9.30pm on BBC1). At midnight, Anthony Mackie action comedy Twisted Metal arrives on BBC1.
If you’re in the market for a film, try ace French drama Rosalie (9pm on BBC4), The Taking Of Pelham 123 (9pm on 5Action), Dune (9.15pm on ITV1), National Lampoon’s Animal House (10pm on Comedy Central|) or Scarface (11.55pm on Film4).
It’s this week’s Golden Glitterballs!
They’re the most coveted awards in, well, this liveblog. And also my mum’s house. Here are this week’s proud gong-getters…
Best dance: A dead heat for me between Alex Kingston’s samba and Balvinder Sopal’s Charleston. Midlife women for the win.
Worst dance: Thomas Skinner’s salsa was one long tinfoil-trousered cringe.
Best music choice: Sunshine On Leith by The Proclaimers. Never not moving.
Worst music choice: Bonkers was, you guessed it, bonkers.
Best outfit: Karen Carney, Amber Davies and Balvinder Sopal’s frocks were all winners. Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s trouser-bulge was also a talking point. Ahem.
Worst outfit: Thomas Crapper the Christmas turkey.
Best VT: Ellie Goldstein in the butterfly house, followed by Ross’ trip to Scotland and Amber’s to Wales.
Worst VT: The cute kids and the gratuitous nans.
Best judges’ comment: “Alright, shut your facer, the tickets were free,” said Anton after a groan-inducing gag. Honourable mention for Craig’s demented Charleston demo.
Best Claudia quip: To Lewis, whose sibling was in the studio audience: “Which brother? There are 72 of them.”
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Behold the combined leaderboard
When tonight’s scores are added to last week’s, Amber Davies tops the joint leaderboard, with Lewis Cope in second spot. Triumph of the super-subs with dance experience.
Ross King is way down at the bottom with Thomas Skinner just above. However, the viewer vote will play its part in who will dance-off for survival tomorrow night. Chris Robshaw could also be in for a nervous wait.
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Credits roll
“Keeeeeep dancing,” chorus Tess and Claud, clasped in their usual pose. “Gather!” adds Claudia, making the judges join in. As the dancefloor dust settles, please stay with us for analysis, reaction and a round-up of your comments.
Casting vote goes to...
Motsi! La Mabuse gets the honour in the first results show. Plot twist! Which probably won’t make any difference!
Aaaand relax as tonight’s 15 routines get recapped on-screen. Who are you tipping for the dreaded you-know-what?
The vote is... open!
For the first time this series. Fancy-dressed mayhem in the studio. Ginger Neil grinding on a non-plussed Winkle.
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Judges’ scores: 7, 8, 8, 7 for a total of 30 points. A 13-point improvement, highest rise of the night.
Judges’ comments: Craig says “Who knew, darling? Pick your feet up and more energy in the arms but fantastic lifts and swivel was gaw-jus”. Motsi says “fantastic”. Shirley says “I’m shocked, outstanding, spot-on”. Anton concludes “what a difference”. Eight on the way?
Balvinder and Julian’s Charleston
EastEnders actress Balvinder Sopal and new Australian pro Julian Caillon looked good last week during their disco-style samba and were another couple who seemed harshly marked. Now they perform the first Charleston of series. Vintage car, flapper outfits, kooky energy, infectious excitement and bouncing on the balls of her feet. Natural swivel action which should satisfy Craig. Lifts, spins and tricks. Balvinder’s pigeon toes were criticised last week but are working in her favour here. A kittle lumpy in parts but bags of fun, stacks of style and a crowd-pleasing climax.
Song: Been Like This by Meghan Trainor and T-Pain. Last year’s jazz-tinged doo-wop duet was built to soundtrack a Charleston. “Ooh-wee, she got that booty…”
Judges’ scores: 7, 7, 8, 8 for a total of 30 points. Second highest score of the series, six up on last week.
Judges’ comments: Shirley says “outstanding, controlled and full of intent, strong narrative and breathing, continuous movement, no wobbles, a potential frontrunner”. Anton says “great timing, tell the story through the face but you kept the spell tonight”. Craig says “accentuate the lines and hyperextend, it had power, passion and Lewis better watch his back, darling”. Motsi concludes “more fluidity, join the steps and flow between movements but youre very special and could go far”. Sevens and eights?
George and Alexis’ paso doble
Only the second paso of the series and something tells me it will be an improvement on Thomas Skinner’s stomp-athon last week. Content creator George Clarke and new American pro Alexis Warr finished in the top five last week and duly rose up the glitterball betting. Now he’s switching into strong, serious mode. Bondage gear for a jam-packed, powerful paso. Knee walks and aggressive stamps. Smouldering attitude but enough curved line? Full of intensity and creatively choreographed. Olé, El George!
Song: Game of Survival by Ruelle. The sort of melodramatic electro pop that you’d hear on The Traitors.
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Judges’ scores: 4, 4, 4, 5 for a total of 17 points. Five fewer than last week. Stefan almost falls up the stairs in sheer relief that it’s over.
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Judges’ comments: Motsi says “brilliant partnership and sunshine energy but lots of mistakes”. Shirley says “good groove and timing but nerves got the better of you”. Anton says “good performance but too many mistakes”. Craig concludes “stiff and stompy but full of proper content”. Stefan admits he was “absolutely petrified”. Fours, do we reckon?
Stefan and Dianne’s cha cha cha
Stefan “Paul Robinson off of Neighbours” Dennis delivered a very decent foxtrot last week and now showcases off his fun side. A 1980s theme, complete with Top Of The Pops graphics and mullet wig worthy of early Ramsay Street. Colourful choreography by Aussie pro Dianne Buswell. Cheeky feel, fast and flirty with loose hips. Knee-slide, floor work and tricks up his neon sleeve. A distinct lack of Cuban feel and too much walking around but decent timing.
Song: Give It Up by KC & The Sunshine Band. The second week running that they’ve appeared on the Strictly playlist. Is Dave Arch on commission? This comeback hit topped the UK charts for three weeks in summer 1983.
Judges’ scores: 3, 4, 4, 5 for a total of 16 points. Two up on last week. Third from bottom overall.
Judges’ comments: Shirley says “better than last week, posture and arms showing promise but keep length in your body and work on pivoting”. Anton says “dance your height, stand aloof and adjust your arms accordingly, you have so much potential”. Craig says “shoulders were up, lost fluidity, lots to work on but magnificent frame for ballroom”. Motsi concludes “step out of your comfort zone, adopt an alter ego and embrace it”. Fours and fives?
Chris and Nadiya’s Viennese waltz
After opening the series with a samba, the rugby player gets his first taste of ballroom. It might just suit his height and physique. Gliding and sweeping across the floor. Romance and drama. He needs to take control and lead Nadiya Bychkova more, so they move as one, but strong and attentive partnering. Natural and reverse turns, standing spins, dizzying twirls. Lacking a little easy elegance but much improved.
Song: Die With a Smile by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars. Last year’s soaring, 70s-style soul-meets-soft rock duet broke streaming records on Spotify and topped the charts in 30 countries.
Judges’ scores: 6, 6, 6,6 for a total of 24 points. One up on last time. Vicky, aka “the Geordie Attenborough”, is tearful with pride but refuses to wipe her nose on Claud’s “bobby dazzler” of an outfit.
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Judges’ comments: Anton says “dearly departed Len would’ve loved those heel turns, lovely natural frame but too nervous, relax and lean back, you’ll be a ballroom queen”. Craig says “awful lot of happing, lumps and bumps but gorgeous heel turns, earthy elegance and charming realness”. Motsi says “expressive and believable but tone and stretch the body”. Shirley concludes “shades of a great frame, you’re special and could go all the way but don’t babysit her, Kai, push her and make her shift”. Sixes and even a seven?
Vicky and Kai’s foxtrot
She overcame her nerves last week to deliver a respectable cha cha which took Vicky Pattison into the top half of the leaderboard. Now she’s going from “Turbo sloth” stroke “Angry badger” to “Graceful giraffe” for this foxtrot, soundtracked by fellow Geordie Sam Fender. It’s partner Kai Widdrington’s favourite dance, so he’s bringing out her elegant side and taking her for a spin. Sweet opening but a slight hesitation. Better once they’re into hold. Wobbles and needs to point her toes but this is rather lovely. “You absolute beauty,” says Kai at the end as she squeals with delight.
Song: Rein Me In by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean. Released this summer, this stormy, starkly arranged anthem is about self-sabotage in relationships and the male tendency to reject anyone who gets too close.
Judges’ scores: 8, 7, 7, 7 for a total of 29 points. One more than last week and top of the combined board as it stands. Birthday cake on the balcony. Served by Ginger Neil, naturally
Judges’ comments: Craig says “I loved, loved, loved that”. Motsi says “me too but work on your foot placement, amazing body rhythm”. Shirley says “stunning dress, upper half fantastic, need more seamless transitions and work downstairs”. Anton concludes “sort the feet and you’ve cracked it”. Sevens, even an eight?
Amber and Nikita’s samba
Late arrival Amber Davies turned 29 today, so can she celebrate with a storming Brazilian party dance? She finished joint second on the scoreboard last week with just 24 hours’ practice. After a full week’s training, this should be even better. A tasselled yellow frock, solo opening, high speed and bags of personality. Supple, smiley and bouncy. Pro partner Nikita Kuzmin showing her off well. Shaking, shimmying and serious oomph.
Song: Bam Bam by Camila Cabello and Ed Sheeran. The 2022 Latin pop hit was hailed as “a break-up bop” and nominated for a Grammy.
Judges’ scores: 2, 4, 4, 5 for a total of 15 points. Five more than last time but still bottom, below Bosh. Jowita now has to eat haggis because he’s won the bet. Bonnie appetit.
Key event
Judges’ comments: Motsi says “you’re more relaxed in ballroom but musicality is an issue”. Shirley says “better than last week, work on posture and frame, bring personality and light up with love”. Anton says “most improved, super-duper, delighted for you, take bigger strides and gain confidence”. Craig concludes “too cautious and erring on the side of dull, lacked movement but loved the sentiment, keep going, darling”. “I’m the poster boy for older men who can’t dance but want to,” says Ross. Fours? A sympathy five?
Ross and Jowita’s waltz
Hollywood correspondent Ross King was rock bottom of the scoreboard last week with just 10 points. Odds-on favourite to go home first, can he defy the odds and save his skin with a romantic waltz? Emotional Highland VT and kilt costume. Slow, stately and a smidge unsteady. Walking rather than dancing some of the time. Polish pocket rocket Jowita Przystal is doing the leading here but there’s rise, fall and flow if you look hard enough. Not gliding or graceful enough on his feet but sweet as a Tunnock’s teacake.
Song: Sunshine on Leith by The Proclaimers. The bespectacled folk-rock duo’s heartfelt ballad has become the unofficial terrace anthem of their beloved Hibernian FC and a firm favourite at Scottish funerals. My heart is broken. Sorrow, sorrow… Stop it, you’ll set me off.
Judges’ scores: 6, 7, 6, 7 for a total of 26 points. A seven-point improvement. “Like trying to put a brake on a stallion,” says Karen. We’ve all done it.
Judges’ comments: Anton says “absolutely excellent, wonderful natural hold and posture, you’ve got the control and now cut loose”. Craig says “quite a bit of gapping, splayed hands, needed more drive and flight but amazing musicality and outstanding character”. Motsi says “beautiful personality but tiny mistakes”. Shirley concludes “dressed exquisitely, got out of sync but some of your best work, Karen”. Hotlips Hauer looks endearingly moved by that. Sixes, do we say?
Harry and Karen’s quickstep
Harry Aikines-Aryeetey, aka Nitro from Gladiators, did some impressive press-ups with partner Karen Hauer standing on his back at the crescendo of last week’s spicy cha-cha. No such gimmicks this time. Both in checked trousers for a sparkling quickstep. The speed and tempo should suit the Olympic sprinter. Side-by-side good, a footwork fumble but frothy fun and packed with content. Perhaps lacking a little smoothness. He needs to be still on top and fast below. Razzle dazzle but timing issues and a little lumpy.
Song: Everybody Needs Somebody to Love by The Blues Brothers. The 60s R&B song was memorably covered by John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd in the 1980 cult comedy *dons sunglasses*.
Judges’ scores: 2, 3, 4, 4 for a total of 13 points. Three down on last week. Dance-off danger.
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Judges’ comments: Craig says “like you were weightlifting in Skegness, timing completely off, no hip rotation or fluidity”. Motsi says “loved the gusto, it was interesting”. Shirley says “you gave it a go but needed more salsa moves”. Anton concludes “good effort”. Damned with faint praise. Fours and a five if he’s lucky?
Thomas and Amy’s salsa
The Apprentice’s ruddy-cheeked Essex chappie finished in the bottom three last week with his Trump-pouting paso. Now Thomas Crapper, sorry, Skinner attempts the first salsa of the series. Pro partner Amy Dowden’s been suffering with a heavy cold all week. Poor Amy doesn’t have much luck, either in health or partners. Sparkly vest, silver slacks, tango tan and a DJ opening. His hips looks creaky and this is ropy. Party feel but his protruding bum is distracting. Spectacular lifts (“Up in the air? Bosh!”) including a head-banger and taking risks but facial expressions a little off-putting. Not much salsa, too much disco and most of it in the air.
Song: Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal and Armand Van Helden. The 2009 hip-house chart-topper became a festival anthem and Dizzee performed it at the opening ceremony of London 2012. Halcyon days.
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Judges’ scores: 5, 6, 6, 6 for a total of 23 points. Six more than last week.
Judges’ comments: Shirley says “you caressed the floor, a ballroom butterfly, epitome of grace and charm, you can spin, girl”. Anton says “absolute delight, if you keep improving like that, you’ll be unstoppable, just take bigger steps”. Craig says “smooth it out, not enough rise and fall but the turns were controlled and loved your commitment to the story”. Motsi concludes “posture much better, extensions and feet too, just improve musicality, well done”. Sixes incoming?
Ellie and Vito’s waltz
Ellie G dances to Ellie G. Some viewers were worried by Ellie Goldstein looking exhausted and emotional in the Clauditorium last week but the model and Malory Towers actress denied she was upset. She’s sweetly channelling a Disney princes for this floaty waltz with pro partner Vito Coppola playing the Prince Charming role. Elegant, smooth and light. Controlling her natural energy and enthusiasm well. Lovely storytelling. Petals fall. Magical.
Song: Your Song by Ellie Goulding. Her tender, fluttery cover of the Elton John classic was featured in the 2010 John Lewis Christmas advert. She also performed it at Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding for their first dance. Sadly, everyone was too busy talking about Pippa’s bum to notice.
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Judges’ scores: 7, 8, 8, 8 for a total of 31 points. Joint highest score of the series and 10 more than last week. Carnival!
Judges’ comments: Motsi says “a real surprise, fluidity and timing”. Shirley says “one of the better sambas I’ve seen in a long time, great basics”. Anton says “loved it”. Craig concludes “needed more tightness but danced the range of steps brilliantly”. Sevens ? Even an eight or two?
Alex and Jojo’s samba
Many thought that actor Alex Kingston and beloved pro Johannes Radebe were undermarked for last week’s Viennese waltz. Now she’s shaking and shimmying in a flamenco-style orange tie-dyed dress. Fan-ography to start. Colourful Rio carnival feel, rhythmical and wiggly. Putting in lots of basics for Shirley Ballas, aka the Queen Of Latin. Needs more freedom and bounce. Stumble at the midway mark but brilliant musicality and seriously fun times.
Song: La Bamba by Connie Francis. The late New Jersey songstress died aged 87 this summer. This is her version of the Mexican folk song made famous by Ritchie Valens in the 50s and Los Lobos in the 80s.
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Judges’ scores: 7, 7 6, 7 for a total of 27 points. Consistent after last week’s 28. Top so far.
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Judges’ comments: Anton says “ooh, powerful, like the modern take on an old-fashioned dance, you’re super talented but need refinement”. Craig says “turns a bit up-and-down but loved the passionate idea”. Motsi says “modern interpretation, tuck it in and keep it tight, wildly explosive moments but need smoother connection”. Shirley concludes “all too aggressive, you need a swan-like neck and more beautiful posture”. Sixes and sevens, ahoy?
Lewis and Katya’s Viennese Waltz
Emmerdale alumnus Lewis Cope finished second on last week’s leaderboard for his firecracker jive. Now he’s slowing it down and deploying his acting skills in a romantic ballroom number. Moody black-and-red styling, dramatic start with some messin’ abaht in a cage, then into hold. This is his first time and it suits him. Technique, control and flow. He’s a natural dancer, leading partner Katya Jones well as they float around the floor. A few fumbles and stumbles but strong finish. Boldly choreographed and a cool take.
Song: Lose Control by Teddy Swims. The 2023 soul ballad by the American artist whose full name is Edwardian Swimmingtrunks (NB: might not be 100% true). This soppy sleeper hit took a record-breaking eight months to climb to the top of the US chart.
Judges’ scores: 6, 6, 6, 7 for a total of 25 points. Top of the joint scoreboard as it stands. Jimmy had an alter ego called “Hamie” and it worked.
Judges’ comments: Craig says “love the Cuban style, hips swinging so much they were hitting the front row but a little heavy and your arms need sorting out”. Motsi says “joyous, earthy, enjoyed yourself Latin feeling but work on your leg action”. Shirley says “fabulous Cuban feeling, chemistry, grounded rather than heavy”. Anton concludes “loved it, thank you very much”. Sixes and sevens?
Jimmy and Lauren’s cha cha cha
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink proved a pleasant surprise last week, changing the narrative of footballers being dancefloor flops by quickstepping to fourth on the leaderboard. Can he keep up the standard after that strong start? Great Cuban setting, plenty of groove and hip action. Hat swapping. Wiggles and shimmies. Decent straight leg action but a little stiff, plodding and hesitant in places. Spicy fun, though.
Song: I Heard it Through the Grapevine by Santa Esmeralda. The French disco group’s cover of Marvin Gaye’s 60s Motown soul classic. For those of a certain vintage, it will forever be associated with Nick Kamen whipping off his Levi 501s in a launderette.
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Judges’ scores: 4, 5, 5, 6 for a total of 20 points. A bit harsh and 11 down on last week.
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Judges’ comments: Motsi says “speed and attack but I could feel the nerves, think about breathing, connection and fundamentals”. Shirley says “a bit closed-in and paso-like but precise and focused”. Anton busts out a demo time and says “open body and release tension in your shoulders but you’re a powerhouse”. Craig concludes “a bit Argentine, awkward and skippy but you drove it and hit some amazingly strong lines”. Fives and sixes, are we saying?
Karen and Carlos’ tango
Karen Carney’s show-stopping jive last week made her the first footballer to top the Strictly scores since John Barnes 18 years ago. Now the pressure is on for the pace-setting Lioness. She’s been having trouble with the tango technique, partly down to her curved spin condition, and wearing a posture aid in training. Red frilly feathered frock and plenty of attack. Needs to keep her shoulders down. Slow, stalking promenades. Sharp turns and staccato movements. A touch of gapping but great mood. Lacking clean finish points, a footwork wobble but full of style and sizzle.
Song: Training Season by Dua Lipa. The Abba-esque 2024 Eurodisco number sees Dua Lipa chiding bad dates and detailing her romantic demands. Training season’s over, you see.
Clive Myrie on the Ts & Cs
The silk-scarfed newsreader pops up on La Winkle’s balcony to read out the voting small print. Online only, what’s the world coming to? They’ll be using “apps” or “ChatGPT” next
Judges’ scores: 4, 5, 5, 5 for a total of 19 points. Five down on last week.
Judges’ comments: Shirley says “it had personality, needed more rotation, decent knee-bounce but not enough jive”. Anton says “timing and performance levels immaculate, halfway there”. Craig says “looked a bit flat but deliciously compact”. Motsi concludes “Keep your legs together and everything is good”. Ahem. “You clearly used to work at Butlins,” La Voix tells the red-jacketed Tess. See you by the Olympic-sized swimming pool for the knobbly knees contest. Fives and sixes, do we think?
La Voix and Aljaž’s jive
The drag queen and Aljaž Škorjanec’s American smooth last week was super-camp, impressively dynamic and featured a malfunctioning fairground horse. Now she needs to keep it compact and high energy. She brings humour to her routines but does she have stamina to handle the pace? Rather ill-fitting Latin theme, takes too long to start jiving and little stop-start. Often more tango-ish than jive. Press-ups seems to be a trend this season. Lacking bounce, energy and speed. Disappointing for me.
Song: Objection (Tango) by Shakira. The first song that the Colombian singer wrote in English, after being encouraged to do so by no less than Gloria Estefan, is about a love triangle and was widely compared to the B-52s. Tin roof! Rusted!
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Our Strictly stars™
Our 15 couples come out for welcome waves. Fancy dress includes frills, florals, corsages, hats, wigs and Thomas Skinner in a pair of Bacofoil slacks. Sweaty gusset alert.
By jove, it’s the judges
The paddle-raising quartet of Craig Revel Horwood, Motsi Mabuse, Anton Du Beke and Shirley Ballas are in the building. Cue discotheque rug-cutting and the usual synchronised sit-down. But in the wrong chairs. With Anton arriving late.
Frockwatch
Here come our hostesses with the mostesses, so time for the customary fashion face-off. Tess Daly is in a red velvet tux. Claudia Winkleman in a sparkly black one. A rare win for Tess?
And we're off!
Have you got a favourite bit of the new-look title sequence yet? Harry’s he-vage? The Aussie couple’s kangaroo hops? La Voix shoving Aljaž out of shot?
Pre-credits montage to build tension! Slo-mo! Time lapse! Totes emosh!
Charge your glasses and open a grab-bag of Nice ’n’ Spicy Nik-Naks. We’re about to go live to Elstree Studios…
Amanda Holden-hosted quiz show The Celebrity Inner Circle wrapping up on BBC1 now. This episode features a pair of Strictly alumna in Kaye Adams and Zara McDermott. Mere minutes to wait now…
Male celebs tipped for early exit
After finishing rock bottom of the week one scoreboard with just 10 points, poor old Ross King is still odds-on bookies’ favourite for the first elimination. Thomas Skinner is tipped to face him in the dance-off. Just behind are Chris Robshaw and Stefan Dennis.
Can the four fellas raise their hoofing game? Five minutes until we hear that ba-ba-da theme tune…
Star billing announced for Movie Week
It’s been confirmed that next week’s film-themed special is upping the star wattage with Wicked star Cynthia Erivo returning as guest judge. She’ll also be a “guest mentor” to the couples, giving them tips on how to inhabit their characters and raise their performance levels. Presumably by painting their face green and “holding space”.
Just 10 minutes left on the choreographic countdown, campers.
On your dance cards
Tonight’s 15 routines are an eclectic mix with only a few overlaps. We’ll see 11 different dance styles, including two sambas, two waltzes, two cha-chas and two Viennese waltzes.
We will also be treated to the first salsa, tango and Charleston of the series. A mere 15 minutes until the glitterball starts spinning…
Let’s play Strictly week 2 bingo
Tick them off when you spot them on-screen! Take a drink for each! Enjoy a kitchen disco and annoy the neighbours! Here’s your 10-point spotter’s checklist for tonight:
An in-house face from a fellow BBC show pops up on the balcony to read out the voting Ts&Cs
Head judge Shirley Ballas whips out her tiny Victorian ghost-child’s shoes
Couple get a rousing ovation and Tess exclaims “They’re on their feet!”
Celebrity plays the nan/cute kid/dog/crying card in blatant bid for votes
Female pro barking instructions to male celeb all the way through their routine
Zeitgeisty reference to Taylor Swift’s new album/Celebrity Traitors
Dance-off is described as “dreaded” and its mere mention gets an “ooh!” from studio audience
Overlong plug for spin-off show It Takes Two/a BBC podcast/social media account
Mention of “comfort zone” or “showcasing a different side of myself”
Stefan Dennis and Dianne Buswell bang on about being Team Aussie. We get it, ya flamin’ galahs
Half the training time but higher stakes
Last-minute replacement Amber Davies aside, the class of 2025 had two weeks to learn their first dance. This time, it was just a week but they still need to show improvement.
Last Saturday saw scores range from 2s to 8s. A huge 20-point gap opened up between the top and bottom of the leaderboard. Just 20 minutes until the shimmery curtain comes up…
Who goes? You decide
Sorry, wrong show. But Strictly viewers can have their say for the first time tonight. Remember the phone vote has been dropped, so voting is now online-only. You’ll just need to register for a BBC account, if you haven’t got one already, then sign in and you’re good to go all series.
Last week’s will be combined with tonight’s and the viewer vote, before the bottom two couples dance-off for survival in tomorrow’s inaugural results show.
Male celebrities occupied the bottom three spots on the opening scoreboard, with Ross King, Thomas Skinner and Chris Robshaw all in danger. They’ll need to raise their games tonight to secure safety. It’s 25 minutes until choreographic kick-off…
Strictly becomes a dance of survival
Buckle up, ballroom fans, because Strictly is about to get serious – and viewers will get their say for the first time. Good evening and welcome to the first elimination weekend of Strictly Come Dancing 2025. I’m Michael, your cyber dance partner for tonight’s action. You are cordially invited to watch along with me as we go live for the second time this year.
After last week’s inaugural live show, our 15 pro-celebrity pairs will hit the Elstree Studios floor once again. Sure, there will be fewer first-night nerves. However, they’ve had half the training time and the stakes are higher, with the first departure from the dancefloor looming.
That’s right, 15 will soon become 14. Last week’s scores will be carried over and combined with tonight’s. Add in the first public vote, then the bottom two couples will hoof for survival on Sunday night. So who’ll be consigned to this year’s first dreaded dance-off? And who’ll be sent home with the sparkly-handled wooden spoon of shame?
It’s showtime at 6.20pm on BBC One. I’ll be liveblogging from 5.50pm, providing build-up, rolling coverage, analysis, reaction and glittery gags. So draw the curtains on Storm Amy (Dowden), slip into your cosiest dancing slippers and I’ll see you on the sofa.
As always, I’d love to hear from you too. You can tweet me @michaelhogan, contact me on Bluesky or Threads @michaelhogan100, email me michael.hogan.freelance@guardian.co.uk and the comments section below is back open for ballroom business. I’ll matador knee-walk down there every now and again to gauge your reactions and report on your comments, so please do share your thoughts.
We’re about get down to proper ballroom business. Nearly time to staaaaaart dancing for survival!
