Simon and Karen dance their final dance to Eric Carmen/Celine Dion’s ‘All By Myself’, and another Strictly week is over. I’ve had all my blog holidays for this year, so I’ll now be at the Strictly helm all the way through until Christmas - thank you all for joining in and being brilliant, have a great week and I’ll see you next Saturday! Hx
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All the judges save Mollie and AJ (obvs), so SIMON AND KAREN are going home. Simon thanks Karen for being amazing, and Karen thanks Simon for all the food. LOLS.
Mollie and AJ give their devilish Cha-Cha another turn. I had really high hopes for Mollie, but she needs to up her game if she’s going to make it beyond Blackpool, this is all a bit lightweight and fluffy. If you’re going to wear that outfit, you need to own it with a bucketful of attitude.
Time to relive Simon and Karen’s American Smooth-Viennese Waltz. Simon’s hands are marginally less splayed for the first half, but otherwise it still looks like he’s treading grapes in ski boots.
Incidentally, What is the judges’ obsession with Simon’s frame? He dances like a man who’s spent 20 years pulling pork, he’s hardly Fred Astaire.
So who is joining Mollie and AJ in tonight’s dance off? Aston and Janette are safe, along with Susan and Kevin (yaaaaas), Gemma and Aljaz, Ruth and Anton and Jonnie and Oti!
Which means SIMON AND KAREN are in the dance-off again. It’s going to take something fairly special for Simon survive this one – I feel like Mollie could stumble onto the dancefloor and puke in Shirley’s handbag and they’d still send Simon home.
I watched this (twice) last night (took a bloody age to put that stage up) and my immediate thought was STEPS FOR EUROVISION. This has all the right ingredients for a third-from-last UK result – shaky vocals, dubious key change, vogue-y dance moves, Lisa Scott-Lee in thigh boots and a ruffled merkin.
Time for a musical interlude courtesy of 90s cheesemongers Steps. They’ve brought they own dancers hidden under some giant capes, because god knows dancers are tough to find at Strictly.
So who is first in tonight’s dance-off, and who is safely through to next week? Davood and Nadiya are safe, along with Debbie and Giovanni, Joe and Katya and Alexandra and Gorka.
First couple in tonight’s dance-off: MOLLIE AND AJ! Did not see that coming – they were in the top half of the leaderboard, I thought the spray-on devil suit would save her. WHERE ARE THE VOTING DADS?
Last night on Strictly: a Halloween Spooktacular that occasionally sacrificed technique for ambitious theming and faffing about with props, but it was always thus.
Personal highlights: Aston and Janette’s Paso, Joe and Katya’s contempo-foxtrot, Giovanni’s Franken-mullet. Also feel like new singer Jamie deserves a high five for tackling Queen falsetto AND Nirvana on the same night, and doing a very decent job of both.
Lowlights: Having a midwife’s view of Debbie’s hoo-ha, Simon’s decidedly rough American Smooth, dreadful VT acting (bring back Pasha), absence of pumpkins.
On the fence: I found Davood and Nadiya’s Rumba rather haunting and beautiful, not his fault it was a bit lunge-heavy. Also think I might have appreciated Susan and Kevin’s Foxtrot more if I’d ever watched Game of Thrones – all a bit baffling to the uninitiated.
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in a bin bag farting another bin bag, Claudia in last night’s dress turned inside out. Shoe fans: I can confirm that Clauds is sporting a pair of Louboutins.
TOTAL SHOULDER COUNT: 4.
They had to do this twice last night because Janette/Karen/Amy/Katya (can’t tell in bat form) couldn’t get the high wire off Brendan’s waistcoat first time round. Love a bit of carabiner-based drama.
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Oh thank goodness, Strictly is starting. I’m all rambled out.
And we’re off! Tonight’s opening pro dance is a dystopian nightmare featuring New Romantic Brendan contempo-wafting to Fleetwood Mac with some pole-dancing bats. It’s quite angsty.
This week’s Countryfile has been so ramble-tastic, they forgot to mention the 2018 Countryfile Calendar. Not that it matters; I’ve already bought one featuring Gorka/Aljaz/Matt Laws/Davood/Tomasz Schafernaker*
*in my head
Tonight’s Countryfile Casual Weatherperson is the homely Darren Bett in ill-fitting knitwear and a poppy in October. Have a word.
STOP SAYING RAMBLE.
Sorry, can someone please explain how ‘rambling’ is different from ‘going for a walk?’
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Mr Tumble. Nope. Just nope.
Ooh, Countryfile is in my neck of the words. Ashton Court is gurt lush.
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SUNDAY RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all! I’m back for some results. I also have wine and Austrian mother-in-law making schnitzel for dinner. Get in.
Morning all – Heidi here, just thought I’d pop in before tonight’s Results Show. Many thanks Alex for standing in while I was gallivanting around Borehamwood – to bastardise a phrase from the late, great Bruce Forsyth (RIP), you were so much better than last year. Also thank you for giving us the gift of Matt Law *boggle eyed emoji*
So obviously I’ve seen the Results Show and know how this evening is going to pan out, but I’ll keep tonight’s bloggage spoiler-free. In the meantime, here’s my learnings from this year’s Strictly field trip:
- The Halloween Special is considerable better if you watch it live, especially if you then lie in bed the following morning and watch the dances again on Youtube from all the angles you couldn’t see in the studio. OMG Aston’s Paso – definitely my highlight of the evening.
- Tess’s wardrobe is not better live. Whilst waiting to come out at the start of the live show last night, she asked one of the audience near me “what do you think? I’m not sure about the shoulders”, and I resisted the temptation to yell “AT LEAST THERE ARE TWO OF THEM”.
- The VTs were predictably awful, but in the studio it’s an opportunity for the stage guys to remove the previous props and build a new set in 90 seconds. It’s quite stressful to watch, but they are amazing.
- This year’s Strictly Halloween studio was pumpkin-free – not a single one in the studio, it was all cobwebs and spooky lighting. I’ll give it 24 hours before the Daily Mail fabricates a PC-gone-mad BBC conspiracy theory about jack-o’-lanterns.
- Standing up at the end of every dance is mostly an opportunity to spend a moment without having your buttocks smooshed into those of the people either side of you; the Strictly studio chairs are roughly 25% narrower than the average British arse, and about 35% narrower than mine. If we didn’t stand up every five minutes we’d get DVT.
- A bag of Percy Pigs in your handbag is the best way to get you through 5 hours in a hot studio.
- And finally, if you’ve never been to Strictly and get the chance (beg, borrow, steal, whatever), I can’t recommend it enough – I’ve been lots of times and it never gets old, but the biggest pleasure for me is taking someone who’s never been before. Last night I took the mum of a colleague – Paulene is a Strictly superfan who has been trying to get tickets for ten years, and we had the best time ever.
Results Show kicks off at 7.15pm, so join me then! Laters x
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So there we have it! There were some great performances, and some that were fairly terrible too, but that’s the joy of Strictly. Heidi – who saw the whole thing in the studio – will be back on Sunday night to take us through the results show and danceoff. Thanks so much for keeping me company ... keep dancing/drinking wine in front of the TV. It’s Casualty next ...
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The scores are 9-10-9-10. So the dancer at the top of the tree – Alexandra, Aston, Joe and Debbie – seem to be pulling away from the rest. But there maybe some surprises when the public vote is taken into account.
Craig points out that these are hardly orthodox paso doble moves, but that it made for a sensational dance, while Darcey applauds the move where Aston thrusts his pelvis forward. Shirley says that Aston has passion and technique, while Bruno says it married technique with innovation, in the style of Joaquim Cortez – praise indeed. Bruno also gives a shout out to the makeup and costume department, who certainly earned their BBC wages tonight.
Aston and Janette dancing the paso doble to Smells Like Teen Spirit would have confused Kurt Cobain, but for the rest of us it was a bravura performance which included a touch of solo popping and locking from Aston.
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Concluding the show, it’s Aston and Janette doing a ghostly paso doble. “But will they reach their ghoul of reaching top marks?” enquires Tess.
The scores are in! Debbie gets 9-10-10-10, deservedly so in my book. What a hoofer!
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Bruno says the dance was absolutely brilliant. Craig says the around the world lift was clunky, though Giovanni says that was his fault. But everything else was “absolutely incredible”. Darcey said that Debbie revealed her inner naughty flapper, and that Debbie is fearless and agile. Shirley, meanwhile, gives Debbie her “queen of Latin crown” – praise indeed.
Debbie and Giovanni’s Frankenstein-themed charleston to Sister Sledge’s Frankie is a real delight, with a lot of witty touches including a costume change and the monster combing his hair. It got a standing ovation – surely the dance of the night.
It’s Debbie and Giovanni, whose intergenerational dancing relationship, and the way he says “Deb-eh!”, is a delight to behold.
The scores are 3-5-5-5 which is pretty bad. Poor Susan and Kevin.
Exactly!
Shirley says it lacked grace and elegance. The foxtrot is the Rolls Royce of the dance – this was more of an old banger (my paraphrasing there). Kevin points out that they weren’t really going for grace, to cheers from the audience. Bruno says that he loved “the madness of it all” but that the dance was incoherent and full of mistakes – though great fun. Craig says his ride-on mower has more elegance than Susan and Kevin, but Darcey gives Susan some credit for her shoulders and neck. So there’s that.
Arriving on the back of a dragon that looks like it cost all of £5.50, Susan and a leather-clad Kevin dance to Killer Queen. They’re playing it for laughs which is always a bad sign on Strictly, but the shadows of dragon passing over the dancefloor are inspired. Well done, BBC lighting team.
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Susan and Kevin are doing a Game of Thrones inspired foxtrot now – be afraid.
5-7-6-7 go the judges. I also enjoyed this appraisal:
Lots of walking about from Davood and lots of staring anguished eyes. Davood we felt your pain.
Darcey says that Davood’s fluid movements were unusual in a man, and that there has been improvement in his arms. Shirley says that it was “difficult on the eye” with too many lunges – but she does says he’s a “beautiful man”. Bruno applauds Davood’s six pack and the acting. Craig says it was a great dance but not much of a rhumba.
Davood is doing the rhumba with his chest out in a sheer black shirt and stricken expression. I always enjoy his dances, a view not often shared with the judges.
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Davood and Nadiya next, who’ve had a rollercoaster ride in the past few weeks. They’re doing the rhumba – after larking about for the BBC cameras in a hall of mirrors, that is.
Note to Alex: Heidi would have complained about Gorka's trousers being too tight, right about now.
No complaints here.
The scores are 9-9-9-8.
Craig says they came out with all guns blazing and didn’t let up. Darcey says it was fierce and clean, with incredible control and focus - “terrifyingly good”. Shirley, who seems to be having a microphone malfunction, says it was near perfect. Bruno says Alexandra attacks every dance “like an animal” – a compliment.
Dressed as a kind of zombie prom pair and dancing to Nelly Furtado’s fabulous Maneater, they’re doing a dramatic, confident and – to my untrained eye – pretty flawless tango.
Alexandra and Gorka are visiting her old school, dressed in Halloween attire – though Gorka sweetly keeps on his flat cap. They’re dancing the tango this week.
Joe is top of the leaderboard and Simon down the bottom. Now it’s Alexandra Burke, who is a very useful mover indeed.
Mollie says she hates Latin dances but that it doesn’t get better than dancing to Kylie. The scores go 6-7-7-7 which isn’t that great.
Bruno says the performance had a lot of fun but lacked hip action. Craig says there were slight balance issues but that Mollie looked confident. Darcey says it was sassy and cheeky with some Kylie-style arm movements. Shirley says that her personality came through but that Mollie’s core isn’t strong enough. Get down to a pilates class and get planking, Mollie.
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They’re doing the cha cha cha to Kylie’s imperishable Better the Devil You Know ... dressed as devils. Mollie is waving that tail like Jerry Hall in the video for Bryan Ferry’s Let Stick Together and the whole thing has sass to spare.
Meanwhile:
It’s Mollie and AJ, the latter of whom has also suffered the lurgy according to the tabloids this week. They’re doing a devilish cha cha cha.
8-8-8-8 from the judges, not as stratospheric as last week’s paso doble but better than anyone else so far tonight.
Shirley loved the concept but says there was some flatfootedness. Bruno said Joe managed the acting and the dancing well. Craig loved the “energy and drive” and the drama of the storytelling. Darcey says it was a difficult foxtrot but that Joe stayed in control.
They’re dancing the foxtrot to Coldplay’s Trouble, which does actually mention a spiderweb in the first verse. And their foxtrot is pretty spectacular – poised, elegant and artful. Joe glides around the floor and does some acting at the end as Kayta wraps him up in her sticky web.
Joe’s pasa doble got 10s last week so he needs to impress on the foxtrot. Katya has arachnophobia so Joe sends in her dog in a spider costume, the big japester.
7-8-7-8 which isn’t a bad score. Alijaz’s vampire makeup is surely worth a couple of points too. Now it’s Joe and Katya as, er, spiders?
Darcey likes it but Shirley says Gemma got off on the wrong foot. Bruno says that there was a lot of content in the dance – ie it was difficult – but that she’s getting into “the joy of dancing”. However, Craig says that there were mistakes and a few lumpy moments – but great spins and energy.
It’s Gemma and Alijaz up dancing the jive to Ever Fallen in Love with Someone by the Buzzcocks. Gemma, whose dress is barely there, shimmies around fabulously while Alijaz does the sexy vampire thing.
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2-5-5-4 go the scores – not an American smooth, but an American horror story, as Bruno said.
Craig says Simon was dancing as if rigor mortis had already set in. Darcey says she knows Simon has had a tough week (illness has laid low a bunch of contestants) but that he didn’t look nervous. Shirley says that the frame was good, but that his footwork was all over the show. “Nevcer underestimate the power of a bit of technique.” Bruno says he’s seen articulated lorries with more elegance than Simon – oof! Barring a miracle, it looks like he’s going home this week.
I’m missing the cultural references here. Is Simon playing Lurch? Quasimodo? Can anyone enlighten me? Dancing round a table festooned with cobwebs, it’s all a bit of a mess.
After Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual saw off Brian Conley last week, Simon and Karen are dancing to Delilah, whose lyrics are definitely a bit on the problematic side.
It’s another duffer, Simon (who has been in the dance-off twice already) doing the American smooth with his partner Karen. “I hope it’s more ghostly than ghastly,” he says. We shall see ...
4-6-6-6 from the judges, though Ruth’s incredible back-combed hair clearly deserved a bonus point or two.
Bruno was bewitched by Ruth’s elegant look, but bothered by Ruth’s frame and bewildered by the fact that she came back from a mistake. Craig says it “lacked any style” and was heavy and sloppy, while the chassis were out of time. “For me it was the antithesis of light and bright.” Darcey is kinder, saying that Ruth styled out her mistakes, and that she’s made a wonderful improvement. Shirley will deduct a point for the mistakes and Anton says “fine, I’ll settle for a nine”. But after all that I suspect Ruth might be in trouble.
Ruth wiggles her nose, as apparently used to happen on Bewitched the show. Anton is wearing a fetching, and rather distracting, rabbit’s tail. It’s a solid enough performance ending in a puff of smoke, but nothing magical.
It’s Ruth (for whom my mum votes religiously every week) and Anton next doing the quickstep ... dressed as a witch and dancing to the theme from Bewitched.
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4-6-5-5, a pretty bad score, with Craig being particularly brutal. But Jonnie takes it on the chin – he knows it wasn’t that great.
Shirley says that the movements were unco-ordinarted and that it lacked “body action”. Bruno, caked in white makeup, says that Bruno launched his boat on the wrong tide and looked as though he was “walking the plank at times”. Craig says it was stompy and flat-footed, and Darcey said she could “see the concentration” which is the very definition of a backhanded compliment. Not Jonnie’s best week, but he’ll come back fighting I suspect.
Jonnie and Oti are first up dancing the cha cha cha to Oli Murs’ Troublemaker dressed as pirates. He dropped the handcuffs he was waving around, which I suspect wasn’t supposed to happen. Besides some enthusiastic pelvic thrusts it seems a bit more hesitant than his previous dances. But what do I know?
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An early look at the costumes as the contestants are introduced reveals several eye-popping sights, not least AJ and Mollie as matching devils, complete with prosthetic horns plus, as Tess points out, “Anton DuBeke in a waistcoat”.
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So “Terrifying” Tess Daly and “Creepy” Claudia Winkleman are amongst us. The shoulder count is zero, with Tess in red velvet and Claudia in black sequins.
Now the judges are here in costume – Craig as the Joker, Bruno as Beetlejuice, Darcey as Red Riding Hood and Shirley as Cruella de Ville.
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And we’re starting with the professionals dancing in full zombie Victorian regalia to the Pet Shop Boys’ titanic It’s a Sin! This is already brilliant.
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Like from Hellstree, says the announcer! It’s the Strictly Halloween special getting off to an appropriately corny start, with the contestants being filmed in the classic “torch under chin” spook fashion.
MikeMoonlight is making me feel at home in the comments
I probably should take this opportunity to apologise to our supply blogger Alex for the whoopee cushion, the butter smeared on the floor and the live frog in his satchel....
I’m still not entirely sure that I understand the rules of Pointless. The winning answer was Joe Egan, but how?
Heidi’s heading to Elstree ...
I've dusted off a spooky frock and I'm off to #Strictly Halloween. pic.twitter.com/rPTCmaMmiC
— Heidi Stephens (@heidistephens) October 28, 2017
It's the Strictly Halloween special!
Evening all, welcome to the Strictly Come Dancing liveblog for Halloween week. Heidi is off watching the show live from Elstree Studios so sadly can’t be with us tonight. She will, however, be back liveblogging the results show on Sunday. So for tonight you’ve got me, Alex Needham, liveblogging from my front room in fashionable north London. Tweet me @alexneedham74 or email me, if you feel that strongly, at alex.needham@theguardian.com.
Last weekend saw the departure of Brian Conley, which wasn’t exactly a surprise. For my money there’s only one truly terrible dancer left in this contest – Simon Rimmer, who was also in the dance-off last week and who surely stands a fair chance of being booted out this evening. That said, strange things can happen when you’re tasked with doing the rhumba while dressed as Frankenstein’s monster or a zombie, and this themed week should throw up a few surprises.
The judging panel is also back up to full strength, with the reappearance of Bruno Tonioli, who skipped last week’s show because he was in Los Angeles, where he also judges on the American equivalent of this show, Dancing With the Stars. All week, the tabloids have been full of entertaining pictures of Bruno having it large in LA, cig in hand and enjoying the company of (it says here) swimwear model Matt Law. Doubtless Mr Law is a sparkling conversationalist, and has a few more obvious attributes too.
Nonetheless, Bruno has managed to tear himself away. Let’s see what kind of state he’s in at 6.35pm when assessing the prancing ghouls and jiving witches Strictly is sure to throw at us on the last evening of British Summer Time (sob!).
Right, I’m off to buy some wine. See you soon!
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The very image of Craig on a riding mower.