Well on that bombshell, that’s IT for another Strictly week – it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, thank you all for propping me up. I’m off to check out the outrage levels in the comment box, for all I know it’s just me and you’re all totally chilled about this absolute travesty.
See you next week for more dance-based larks; kick off is at 6.45pm, and don’t forget to wear your poppy as I’ll be checking each and every one of you*. I’m on Twitter @heidistephens if you want to share some love/air your grievances in the meantime. Have a great week! Hx
*I really won’t.
This has all got quite tearful. I’m still in the denial stage of grief right now.
Oh my goodness, Aston and Janette are out. DID NOT see that coming, and right now it feels like a terrible decision. Aston was better on the night, and he’s better overall, and he’s FAR more entertaining. The nation is now denied his final backflip-tastic Showdance, which is frankly upsetting. I need to lie down.
Craig decides to save Mollie and AJ (WAIT WHAT???), and Darcey and Bruno both save Aston and Janette (OMG HIGH DRAMA).
Which means Shirley has the deciding vote, and she chooses…MOLLIE AND AJ.
So can Mollie and AJ fix their wonky Foxtrot from last night night? This is definitely an improvement, but I’m not sure it’s going to be enough to save them.
Meanwhile Aston and Janette’s Viennese Waltz is still adorable. Can’t believe Craig gave this a four last night.
So who is joining Aston and Janette in tonight’s dance off? Joe and Katya are safe, along with Ruth and Anton (oh FFS), Davood and Nadiya (yaaas), and Gemma and Aljaz!
Which means MOLLIE AND AJ in the dance off. Not a huge surprise, but at least there’s a good chance Aston and Janette will survive to dance another day.
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Things I don’t ever need to see in slow motion: Ruth and Anton dry-humping at the end of their Paso. MY EYES.
OK apparently Amy was actually Chloe, Sorry, who is Chloe again? Is she one of the spares?
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Has Darcey got a bet on for how big she can go with the earrings? Tonight’s are dragging on her shoulders.
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Time for a musical interlude, courtesy of Welsh warblers The Stereophonics. It’s called Caught By The Wind, and sounds like every other Sterophonics song ever. Still, nice to have a proper band on.
Nice dance accompaniment from Neil and Amy too. At least I think it’s Amy, they keep sneaking extra dancers in just to foil me.
I’m quite annoyed about Aston being in the bottom two - I know his different take on dances isn’t for everyone, but I love it. His Paso last week was epic. Imagine how amazing his final showdance will be? We NEED to see that.
So who is safely through to next week, and who is the first couple in tonight’s dance-off?? Alexandra and Gorka are safe, along with Jonnie and Oti, Debbie and Giovanni and Susan and Kevin (hooray!).
First couple in the bottom two: ASTON AND JANETTE.
Oooh. OOOOOH. That is not good. But against Ruth and Anton, surely?
Last night on Strictly: UTTER MADNESS. A mix of weird and wonderful song choices, some stellar performances and some wonky bits that the judges loved anyway. Shirley and Craig were both in odd moods, and I have no idea what’s going on anymore.
Highlights: Davood’s American Smooth, Jonnie getting his groove on, Susan’s joyful Jive, Hula Aljaz, the long-awaited return of training footage.
Lowlights: Mollie’s Foxtrot, I’ve Gotta Feeling (that this song is not right for a Tango), Ruth and Anton’s cheese and ham Paso.
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in rather fabulous assymetric hot pink, Claudia in some kind of Victorian lace nightie. It’s really ugly.
Tonight’s pro dance is a high-sparkle Prince medley, featuring pole dancing and Neil and Katya giving it seriously mood. Also umbrellas, because Purple Rain. Katya is wearing sparkly yellow knickers.
Only Gorka could pull off a floral suit and Mr T’s jewellery and still look smoking hot.
And we’re off! The opening titles start to make me a bit melancholy at this point in the series, as we remember those we’ve lost. Bring back Chizzy and Rev. Richard. Also the seals.
Currently on Countryfile: Gregg Wallace is carving stag beetles into a totem pole.
This seal feature has ended very badly. Not even the dashing Stav Danaos giving us the Countryfile Weather can lift my spirits.
This is the second week in a row the Countryfile Casual Weatherperson has gone for minimal effort school uniform, and no doubt certain people are current FROTHING that Stav isn’t wearing a poppy.
Boo, dead seals.
Don’t make me blub, Countryfile baby seal feature. Aww, they’re like puppies. I want one.
“So why does this plant flower at this time of year?”
“Because it’s an autumn plant”.
Countryfile blowing my mind this evening.
Everyone, apparently there’s a Countryfile Calendar. It’s only nine pounds, and comes with a free pork pie delivered by John Craven.
It’s an Autumn Special on Countryfile tonight, which currently involves less rambling and more badgers.
SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all, and welcome back for tonight’s Results Show! Last night’s live show was all a bit…odd, can’t decide if it was being high on Day Nurse or the judges getting mid-season cabin fever. It should be Ruth to go home this evening (that Paso was horrific), but I have a sneaky feeling she’s going to get through on entertainment value, in which case Mollie could be in trouble, or even Gemma. After last week’s Halloween foregone conclusion, I’m well up for some Strictly high drama.
Kick off is 7.15pm as usual, so join me then!
So that’s IT for tonight’s show – who could have imagined that Gemma and Aston would end up in the bottom half? Thanks for joining in and making me feel less bleurgh. My (imaginary) votes are off to Jonnie and Oti, Davood and Nadiya and Susan and Kevin – I reckon maybe Mollie and AJ and Ruth and Anton to be in tonight’s dance off, but there are a few who could be in trouble tonight/tomorrow. I’ll be back at 7.15 tomorrow for the results, so join me then, have a fab evening! Hx
Scores: 8,9,9,9 - a total of 35 for Davood and Nadiya.
Bruno thought they were like movie stars – Davood swept us off our feet. Craig wanted more swing and sway, but otherwise he loved it. Darcey loved the control and the transitions into the bum lift – they bought plenty of Hollywood glamour and it was fabulous. Shirley says something about arms and legs, and offers her congratulations.
Nadiya looks glorious, and Davood doesn’t scrub up badly either. This is pure class – great footwork, lots of swing and sway, exactly the Davood I’ve been waiting for. OOH THAT LIFT!
I LOVED that, which means the judges will hate it, because it’s that kind of night.
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And finally, it’s Davood and Nadiya! This week they’re dancing the American Smooth to ‘This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)’ by Natalie Cole. Davood is definitely in the danger zone right now – neither good enough for top scores, or popular enough to score public votes. He needs a really good week to stay safe – going last will definitely help.
Scores: 6,7,8,8 - a total of 29 for Susan and Kevin.
Shirley would never let Susan paint her house but she can dance round Shirley’s kitchen any day. Bruno thought Susan was giving it everything, and it had a great pump action and timing. Craig thought it was vast improvement on last week, but a bit flat-footed. Darcey loved the energy and bounce, needed a bit more contraction but definitely Susan’s dance.
So this Jive has a Neil Buchanan Art Attack theme, which is nice. Very decent timing from Susan and plenty of attack, and as usual she looks like she’s having an absolute BALL. Kicks and flicks could be sharper, but there’s plenty of Jive content there, and it’s a really decent effort. Enjoyed that very much.
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Hooray, it’s time for Susan and Kevin! Tonight they’re dancing the Jive to ‘This Ole House’ by Shakin’ Stevens. Not going to lie, I’m a bit worried about Susan this week. She’s got all the personality, but I suspect her technique is going to be a bit lacking in this Jive and the judges will punish her accordingly. Hopefully it will be so entertaining that nobody will care.
Scores: 6,7,7,7 - a total of 27 for Jonnie and Oti.
Darcey loved the ease of Jonnie’s Salsa, it made up for the lack of hip rotation. Bruno loved the strength in the lifts and Jonnie had a great groove in the upper body, it just needed to translate to Jonnie’s bottom half. Shirley loved how Jonnie is finding rhythm that suits him, and Craig loved how he showed Oti off and the lifts were spectacular.
Is Shirley got beef this evening? She always goes after Darcey, what’s the problem?
OK Jonnie’s got his chest out, and all is well with the world *fans self*. He actually looks he’s having a brilliant time in his typically laid-back way, which is a Jonnie I can totally get behind. Footwork not brilliant, but lifts are amazing and I don’t care. Tonight is madness and I really enjoyed that.
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Following that is Jonnie and Oti! This week they’re dancing the Salsa to ‘Turn Me On’ by Kevin Lyttle, a dance/reggae banger from 2003 that I absolutely love. I fully expect Oti to give this both barrels, hopefully Jonnie will do likewise, he really needs to start letting all that hair down.
Scores: 10, 10, 10, 10 - drink everything you can find.
Craig comes out from behind the desk to bow down to Debbie for her amazing Tango. Darcey got tingles down her back, it was extraordinary and she has never seen a Tango like that. Shirley thought it was outstanding and first class. Bruno thought it was a flawless Tango masterclass.
See? I know nothing.
This has lovely staccato and great Tango legwork from Debbie, but quite stiff and uncomfortable-looking in places, not sure about this at all.
Also this version of I’ve Gotta Feeling is an absolute shocker, sounds like dustbin lids being bashed together.
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Next up it’s Debbie and Giovanni! This week they’re dancing the Tango to ‘I Gotta Feeling’ by The Black Eyed Peas. To me this feels too much of a bop to be a Tango song, but tonight is showing us that anything is possible if we’re willing to expand our minds, or take mind-expanding substances. I’m on the Day Nurse, so let’s go with it.
Scores: 4 (feel the burn Aston),6,6,6 - a total of 22 for Ruth and Anton.
Bruno though Anton looked like Manuel from Fawlty Towers – it was Murder On The Dancefloor. Craig thought it was entertainment, but no technique – the public might vote for it, but Craig won’t. Darcey thought Ruth came alive, and she loved the stalking kicks – Ruth is definitely going somewhere*. Shirley reckons there isn’t a household in the UK that didn’t enjoy that. I BEG TO DIFFER.
*home, hopefully
EAMONN HOLMES DRINK.
This takes forever to get into hold, and features very limited actual Paso in the first half, albeit plenty of hammy Frank Spencer acting from Anton. It’s a bit more dressage pony than stamping bull, but some nice arms from Ruth and a half-decent pacy finish. Also OPERA.
I do not love a comedy Paso. Never do this again.
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It’s time for Ruth and Anton! Tonight they’re dancing the Paso Doble to ‘The Shady Dame From Seville’ by Julie Andrews. This is proper Paso music, but also traditionally played for laughs, so very interested to see if Ruth and Anton decide to give it full Paso drama, or go for high camp.
Scores: 4,7,7,7 - a total of 25 for Aston and Janette. Bit harsh, Craig.
Shirley thought there was some reasonably good footwork, but it was a bit bouncy in places and not flat enough. Bruno liked the concept but it needed more glide and less edges – the dance lost the style. Craig thought it had too much attack and lacked grace, and there was too much rise and fall. Darcey thought he lost his energy in hold.
Well I liked it. What do I know?
So this kicks off with some faffing in a barber’s chair, but once they get into hold it’s rather fabulous – great rise and fall from Aston, plenty of spinning and lovely control on the final floor spin. All rather unconventional, but what do you expect from an Aston/Janette Viennese Waltz? Also shout out to Hayley on vocals – that girl has LUNGS.
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Next up it’s Aston and Janette! This week they’re dancing the Viennese Waltz to ‘Who’s Loving You’ by The Jackson 5. Love this song, love this pairing, love a Viennese. Not sure about the combination of all three, but hopefully they can bring it.
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Scores: 5,7,7,7 - total of 26 for Gemma and Aljaz. Not a great week.
Darcey thought it was hot to start with, but it got a bit laboured after the lifts. Shirley agrees about the lifts, but Gemma’s foot rotation was good. Bruno thought it was tasty with just the right amount of spice, but Gemma was a little timid in places and she needs to let herself go. Craig thought it looks clunky and heavy and there was no figure 8 rotation in Gemma’s hips – it needed to be more seamless.
Gemma looks entirely fierce, but that first lift was a bit of a mess. It gets better though, with some very decent hip action from Gemma. It does feel a bit like she and Aljaz are at different parties though – just not enough welly from Gemma, needs more abandon.
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Just FYI, hula Aljaz is my favourite Aljaz flavour.
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It’s time for Gemma and Aljaz! Tonight they’re dancing the Salsa to ‘Sun Comes Up’ by Rudimental ft. James Arthur. This song is a solid gold banger, and I have high hopes that Gemma is a secret Salsa queen. Party dance/Rudimental/Aljaz is just about my favourite combo ever.
Scores: 9,9,9,9 - a total of 36 for Joe and Katya.
Craig loved it, he thought it was brilliant, although Joe’s left foot didn’t swivel as much as his right. Darcey loved the charm and Joe’s acting was amazing. Shirley says something about DJ dance hall/dark horse Joe, I have no idea what she’s talking about. Imagine Shirley being less coherent than Bruno.
So they all loved it. Just me then.
So Joe and Katya are toy soldiers, and this is already intensely annoying. There are some timing issues from Joe, but his basic swivel isn’t bad. Just all a bit…wooden – maybe that’s intentional?? Yeah that was a no from me.
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Next up it’s Joe and Katya! This week they’re dancing the Charleston to ‘Alexander’s Ragtime Band’ by Ella Fitzgerald. I have very high hopes for this – Joe is most comfortable in these performance-led dances and Katya’s choreography is incredible – remember her banjo-tastic Charleston with Ed Balls last year?
Love how Tess pronounces “drumming corps” as “drumming corpse” in the VT. Harsh.
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Scores: 6,7,7,7 - a total of 27 for Mollie and AJ.
Bruno thought the first half was beautiful, but there was an incident in one of the turns. Craig agrees there were some balance issues, but it was classy and stylish. Darcey thought it was elegance all the way through, and Shirley was impressed by Mollie’s timing and how she recovered from the wobble.
Well this is a charming Foxtrot, although Mollie’s shoulders are still heading north for the winter and she looks a bit stiff. Lovely lift at the end though - the jury is still out on whether these two are doing it.
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Wearing a poppy on sweaty training gear is ridiculous - if someone from wardrobe has to clip it to your outfit before the cameras start rolling it doesn’t count. Just saying.
Next up it’s Mollie and AJ! Tonight they’re dancing the Foxtrot to ‘Call Me Irresponsible’ by Connie Francis. Last week’s Cha Cha was a bit of a shambles and put Mollie and AJ in the bottom two. What they really need is a classic Foxtrot packed with charm and style that makes us all fall in love with her again. Absolutely no pressure whatsoever.
Scores: 9,10,10,10 - 39 for Alexandra and Gorka. Almost had my Lemsip ready then.
Shirley doesn’t know where to start, Alexandra’s Cha Cha looked like a professional (because...OK let’s not go there). Bruno loved the precision, cleanliness – the best Cha Cha this season so far (not hard, to be fair). Craig loved the turnout (whatever that is), and Darcey thought it was flirty and confident, and Alexandra’s hard work has paid off.
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So, a jazz-themed Cha Cha. Alexandra is all kinds of fabulous, as per usual. Great foot pressure and solid hip action, alongside bags of attitude. These two are sex on legs, absolutely love it.
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Up first tonight is Alexandra and Gorka! This week they’re dancing the Cha Cha to ‘I Got The Music In Me’ by Marcia Hines. Having traditionally been a Week 1 ease-you-in-gently dance, the Cha Cha has become the Dance Of Doom this season, with everyone wanging on about how hard it is. But this is Alexandra and Gorka, so I suspect we are about to get an absolute schooling in how the Cha Cha is supposed to be done.
Out come the stars – Anton has gone full matador, and Aston is sporting a giant ‘fro. Susan and Kevin look like they’re about to do a stint on Rainbow*.
*ask your mum
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in a gravity-defying black Playboy pantsuit and massive 80s hair, Claudia in sparkly fabulousness. Two poppies present and correct.
TOTAL SHOULDER COUNT: two – both on Claudia.
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And we’re off! Last week on Strictly: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL. Featuring several treats, a few tricks, one budget dragon and a couple of rotten pumpkins. Mollie and AJ survived the dance-off and we finally said goodbye to Simon and Karen. Friends for life etc.
We’ve made it to the halfway point! As is traditional, I started my Christmas shopping today.
YAAAAS I had two pointless answers. I win.
OK, my pointless final answers: Madagascar, Honduras, St Davids.
On tonight’s Pointless, has to be Dave Gorman for the win, surely? He’s one of the cleverest men I know.
(For the record, I don’t actually know Dave Gorman, but his wife and I occasionally swap recipes on Twitter, which is kind of the same thing).
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This week’s Strictly Come Bingo: a swig of Lemsip Max Strength for any occurrence of the following:
- Shirley mentioning surburbs of Liverpool
- Incongruous poppy/outfit pairings
- Firework-based metaphors
- Mentions of illness (there’s a lot of it about)
- Four tens
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Strictly Come Dancing Liveblog! We’ve made it to Week 7 and survived the horrors of Halloween, so well done us. Only ten couples remain, which means things are starting to get interesting. Here’s my mid-way review of the remaining runners and riders:
- Top Tier: Debbie, Alexandra, Aston – the best dancers on paper, which means the only way the judges won’t put them all through to the final is if two end up in the dance off.
- On a journey: Gemma, Joe – my money is on one of these two to take the fourth slot in the final and grab the glitterball.
- Too little too late: Mollie, Jonnie, Davood – I love them all, but they’re not improving fast enough to make the top five.
- Battling for Blackpool: Ruth, Susan – both of these in danger if they’re in the bottom two, but I think the public will keep Susan in for a few more weeks.
Please note that I am somewhat under the weather with a cold this evening, so need everyone in the comment box to make up for any shortfall in sparkle. You know what to do.
Kick off tonight is at 6.50pm, so join me under my blanket for some minute-by-minute shenanigans. See you in a bit!
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