So that’s it for another week on Planet Strictly! Next week it’s BLACKPOOL, so prepare yourself for a sparkle-filled seaside special. Thank you for all your brilliant comments, and for generally being amazing. I’ll Febreze the Blackpool bus before next Saturday, it smells a bit doggy. Have a great week!
Ruth apologises for not taking Anton to Blackpool, and they promise to be friends for life. Anton’s got 15 years of friends for life, Christmas gift buying must be a nightmare.
Ruth and Anton take their final spin to Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me. Anton attempts an ungainly lift, then Ruth straddles him Paso-style and everyone piles on. This is why we love Strictly.
All the judges save Jonnie and Oti, thank goodness. Sanity prevails, and all is not lost.
OK judges, this shouldn’t be a hard decision. Ruth and Anton are like those dinner party guests who ask for another drink even though you’re doing exaggerated yawns and have started loading the dishwasher. It’s time to send them home. If nothing else, think of Eamonn’s bum – he’s been wedged into that tiny studio chair for eight weeks.
I still think this Foxtrot is rather lovely, and Jonnie is emoting much better this time round. His bum is still half way to Blackpool, but I’m fine with that.
OK, dance-off time! I’d like to say the outcome of this is a given, but I learned my lesson last week.
OK, Ruth’s already messed up, Eamonn’s clearly got the engine running.
Jonnie, just turn up. You’ll be fine.
Bruno doesn’t even bother suggesting any improvements for Ruth and Anton, he just recommends trying to hide the mistakes with ‘smoke and mirrors’. Harsh.
Next week Debbie is going to be a Spice Girl, and Giovanni suggests she’s going to be ‘Cheeky Spice’. It’s the Spice Girl we never knew we needed.
So who is joining Jonnie and Oti in tonight’s dance-off? Alexandra and Gorka are safe, along with Debbie and Giovanni and Gemma and Aljaz!
Second couple in the dance off (NOT SUSAN NOT SUSAN) is RUTH AND ANTON! Oh thank goodness. Susan’s quite emosh about the whole business.
Ah – just seen the Fanjo lift in slow-mo and Debbie’s holding Giovanni’s hand behind her back. STAND DOWN SHE’S NOT A PUPPET.
Christ on a bike, what on earth is Shirley wearing? It looks like my plastic laundry basket.
ANYWAY, Seal has turned into Michael Buble while we weren’t looking, and I am not down with this. Do Kiss From A Rose.
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Time for a musical interlude, courtesy of Seal. The 90s pop star, not the ones who were battered to death by Storm Brian in last week’s Countryfile, or the ones who will probably end up being Orca lunch on Blue Planet later. Being a seal is no picnic, let me tell you.
My dad, my brother and my sister are all ex-military and marched at the Cenotaph today. I like to think I’m serving my country in other ways.
Ooh, Davood is going to be James Bond next week! I love how Nadiya describes Blackpool as “the most amazing place”, like it’s actually the most amazing place.
So who is heading north on the Blackpool Funbus, and who is the first couple in tonight’s dance-off? Davood and Nadiya are safe, along with Mollie and AJ (they look SO happy, can’t help but be happy for them), and Joe and Katya
First couple in tonight’s dance-off: JONNIE AND OTI.
Well, can’t say I’m hugely surprised, but now I’m worried that Ruth and Anton are safe.
Did we get to the bottom of Nadiya’s outfit last night? Was it a last minute substitution for something that was actually appropriate for a cor-blimey Charleston? I guess we’ll never know.
Last night on Strictly: a mixed bag, dance-wise. Mad scoring, shaky music choices, everything being hard for men and the first Argentine of the season.
Highlights: The (brief) return of training footage.
Lowlights: Knowing that next week it will all be a distant memory as celebs pretend there’s nothing more fun than eating chips in the rain.
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TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess has skinned a penguin and put her arm in the wrong hole. Standard.
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And we’re off! Tonight’s pro dance is a Remembrance Day special featuring treadmill contempo-waft to an acoustic version of The Proclaimers ‘500 Miles’. It’s all rather beautiful and touching, nice work Strictly.
Tonight’s Casual Countryfile Weatherperson is the dashing Stav Danaos AGAIN, but he’s ditched the school jumper in favour of Brokeback Mountain plaid and jeans. Grrr.
Also, we need to talk about this Fanjo Lift from Debbie and Giovanni’s Salsa. I’ve watched it multiple times and I still can’t work out where Giovanni’s hand goes. Either Debbie has thighs of steel, or it’s a trap door magic trick that never made it to Paul’s show.
Apologies for not including pictures from last night’s show, I know some people read the blog without watching the show and pics are a nice bonus. But for whatever reason there aren’t any shots from last night’s show in the Guardian picture archive. Will check again later.
SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all, and welcome back for the Strictly results! Last night’s show marked a turning point, I think, where we can start to see a glimmer of how the final on 16th December might shape up. Alexandra and Debbie will be there for sure, with the remaining spaces taken by two of Davood, Gemma and Joe. I can’t see Jonnie, Susan and Mollie going the distance to be honest (although I think Susan will last the longest), and barring utter madness Ruth should be leaving us this evening. We shall see.
Kick off is at 7.20pm, so join me to find out who is off to Blackpool, and who is free to do their Christmas shopping in a leisurely fashion. Hopefully tonight’s events won’t be as dramatic as last week, I’m not sure I can cope. See you in a bit!
And that’s it for tonight’s show! Thank you all for joining in and being amazing as usual; I’ll be back tomorrow at 7.20pm for the Results Show. In the meantime you can find me on Twitter/Instagram @heidistephens if you’d like to give me a wave. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday! Hx
Time for a recap - my pseudo-votes this evening would go to Susan and Kevin (because I want them in Blackpool), Alexandra and Gorka (smoking) and Debbie and Giovanni (because god knows I want to look half that good on a dancefloor at 59).
So the dancing is over, and the voting lines are open! Davood and Nadiya and Alexandra and Gorka are at the top of the leaderboard, with Anton and Ruth at the bottom. SURELY it’s time for them to go home? Could be Mollie and AJ in the dance-off again, or even Jonnie and Oti? Quite a few in the danger zone tonight, tonight was very much a game of two halves.
Scores: 9,9,8,9 - a total of 35 for Debbie and Giovanni.
Shirley thought it was on its way to being a championship Salsa, but there were a few mistakes. Bruno thought it was a first class ticket to Blackpool, Debbie was a saucy scrumpet (not a thing, Bruno). Craig wants whatever Debbie is on, it was ridiculous. Darcey loved the speed and complexity, and it was incredibly impressive.
So Debbie is an optician, apropos of nothing. She’s definitely loosened up, and has good figure eight hips going on. Great control, fabulous spinning, her footwork gets a bit shifty in the middle but it’s fifty times better than her Cha Cha. She also looks like she’s having the time of her life, which I can totally get behind. My god, SO many lifts.
OK, I’m a sucker for a Salsa and I really loved that.
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And finally, it’s Debbie and Giovanni! This week they’re dancing the Salsa to ‘I Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You’ by Boys Town Gang. Hopefully since has worked out how to soften her knees and get her hips in gear since their Cha Cha a few weeks back. If so, this Salsa could be rather fabulous. If not, Debbie could be in trouble. They’re going last, so I have high hopes.
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Scores: 4,5,6,6 - a total of 21 for Jonnie and Oti.
Darcey thought Jonnie looked uncomfortable and his right shoulder was drifting, he was better a couple of weeks ago. Shirley thought there were some improvements, but other areas where Jonnie really needs to up his game. Bruno thought it was quite emotional, but Jonnie’s bum was sticking out and his hands were like shovels. Craig thought it was dull.
Apparently the Foxtrot is also difficult for the man. DRINK.
Oti looks glorious in custard, as per usual. It’s all quite dramatic and lovely to see a whiff of acting from Jonnie, but in hold he goes a bit dead-eyed. He also has issues with his posture, but I think we have to forgive him that since he only has one ankle, and he mentioned in the VT that this creates issues. Rather sweet, quite enjoyed that.
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It’s time for Jonnie and Oti! This week they’re dancing the Foxtrot to ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele. We’ve had dubious Adele experiences in the past (Danny and Oti’s ‘Set Fire To The Rain’ Showdance, for a start), so you might want to pop your earmuffs on.
Scores: 5,6,6,5 - a total of 22 for Mollie and AJ.
Craig thought some of Mollie’s shapes were quite awkward, but it had power and presence. Darcey liked the attitude and drama, but Mollie’s core strength is still letting her down. Shirley thought it looked a bit jerky and off-balance, and Bruno thought it was out of control, and the timing was off in places. Not a great night for Mollie and AJ.
AJ’s lace-up trews are just wrong, but Mollie gives good cape. It’s all quite thrusty and Mollie’s frame is all over the shop - feels a bit bouncy for a Paso, but good intensity.
AJ’s Paso face looks like he’s just stepped on some Lego. Bless.
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It’s time for Mollie and AJ (AKA NOT ASTON). This week they’re dancing the Paso Doble to ‘Layla’ by Derek and the Dominoes. Thinking about Paso passion from these two makes me feel a bit queasy, but let’s go with it.
Scores: 9,9,10,10 - a total of 38 for Alexandra and Gorka. It’s getting busy at the top of the leaderboard.
Bruno thought Alexandra was a magnificent creature, and her sequence of ganchos was sensational. Craig thought it was incredible, and Darcey loved the sensuality, but Alexandra needs to finish the line in her feet. Shirley was transported to a nightclub with just the two of them, it was superb.
Alexandra has a massive fan, and Gorka looks frankly edible. Quite a lot of faffing on the stairs, but once they get into hold there’s some really nice footwork from Alexandra. I feel like her toes need to be more pointed, but I love the intensity and the clever bits, like walking on Gorka’s feet. Hot stuff, really loved that.
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Four couples left! Alexandra and Gorka! Tonight they’re dancing the first Argentine Tango of the series (DRINK) to ‘Mi Confession’ by Gotan Project. This is proper Argentine music, and if anyone can pull this off, it’s Alexandra. Her dancing does have a tendency to be a bit wild, can she master the control required for a slick and classy Argentine?
Scores: 7,7,7,7 - a total of 28 for Gemma and Aljaz.
Gemma is using dizziness (DRINK) to hug Aljaz for about an hour. Wouldn’t we all?
Shirley liked the natural turns, but Gemma got into a shoe tangle on the fleckerl and there was too much rise and fall. It also needed more emotion from Gemma. Bruno was impressed with how Gemma kept the drive, but it was a bit like she was holding a laundry basket and it needed more performance. Craig thought Gemma struggled to keep up, but it lacked emotion in the body. Darcey was impressed with Gemma’s eye level despite the excessive spinning (DRINK), but not bad.
Gemma’s dress is gorgeous, I want it. Much faffing with a suitcase, then they get into hold and it’s all rather charming. I’m pretty sure this is a perfectly decent Viennese from Gemma, but mostly I’m transfixed by Aljaz’s bum. I’M SORRY OK.
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Next up it’s Gemma and Aljaz! Tonight they’re dancing the Viennese Waltz to ‘You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me’ by Brenda Lee. Gemma has a bit of a Salsa Shambles last week, and is no doubt very happy to be back in Aljaz’s arms, even if it does involve large amounts of spinning.
I’m loving the training VTs. Please keep them, it’s all we ask.
Scores: 9,9,10,10 - a total of 38 for Davood and Nadiya.
Darcey loved the speed and detail, and Davood held on to the character all the way through. Shirley loved the choreography and thought Davood was flawless. Bruno loved Davood’s versatility, and he’s getting better week by week. Craig thought it was A. MAZE. ING. Tens, anyone?
So Nadiya is rather inappropriately dressed for selling veg. Lovely swivel from Davood – he’s a very clean dancer, with lovely transitions between the lifts. The backward lift looked a bit ropey, but bags of personality from Davood. Would have liked a bit more basic swivel, but really enjoyed that.
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Next up it’s Davood and Nadiya! This week they’re dancing the Charleston to ‘The Lambeth Walk’ by The Pasadena Roof Orchestra. This could be marvellous, or it could be cor-blimey-guvnor-up-the-apples-and-pears dreadful.
I’m almost sad there isn’t a VT for this one, because Davood explaining east end culture/pearly kings and queens/cockney rhyming slang to Ukrainian Nadiya might have been rather charmingly bonkers.
Scores: 4,5,4,5 - a total of 18 for Ruth and Anton.
Craig thought the side-by-side at the beginning lacked style and charisma, and then Anton messed up before it all got a bit trotty. Darcey agrees it lacked glide, and Ruth was out of her depth. Shirley thought it was too quick for a Foxtrot, and it wasn’t her favourite. Bruno thought they lost the trot and it turned into a gallop, and the timing was all over the shop.
Oh do be quiet, Anton.
There are hats and canes, presumably to distract from Ruth’s lower body. They are out of hold for weeks (TEN SECOND RULE), and then it’s a masterclass in wobbly dressage. Ruth has definitely improved, but I fear her time has come.
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It’s time for Ruth and Anton! This week they’re dancing the Foxtrot to ‘Mack The Knife’ by Bobby Darin. Still can’t believe we’re in Week EIGHT and Ruth and Anton are still here. I blame Brexit.
Scores: 7,8,9,9 - a total of 33 for Joe and Katya. OK then.
And there it is. DRINK.
Bruno loved the perfect balance of presentation and interaction – great lines and hips, but Joe’s hands were odd. Craig thought it was a bit jolty and the footwork was a bit pigeon-toed, but it was pretty good (for a man). Darcey thought it was earthy and well controlled, and it had fabulous lines. Shirley still thinks Joe is the dark horse of the competition, and he did well on the Rumba basics.
Katya is wearing a shredded muppet, and there is much posing. Pretty decent hip action from Joe, despite flappy arms and a slightly odd Rumba gurn. We’ve definitely seen worse.
Still, Rumba is hard for the man.
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Next up it’s Joe and Katya! Tonight they’re dancing the Rumba to ‘One’ by U2 and Mary J. Blige. After years of being on the fence (not really), I’d like to make it very clear that I hate the Rumba and it needs to be quietly retired. It looks weird, nobody is ever any good at it, and we all feel a bit icky afterwards.
Eamonn Holmes is in the audience. Nice of him to finally turn up.
Scores: 5,6,8, - a total of 27 for Susan and Kevin. Bit mean, Craig.
Shirley loved how Susan danced from her heart, and she didn’t miss a step. Susan still needs to work on her frame, but she’s come huge strides. Bruno loved the drama and Susan’s precision timing. Craig is still bothered by Susan’s posture and it lacked a little attack, and Susan’s face looked in pain. Darcey loved the focus and drama, but Susan loses her frame when she gets emotional.
Well I rather like this – nice footwork and timing from Susan, and I love that she’s taking it so seriously rather than playing it for laughs. Some nice drama too, and not a stomp in sight. Good work Susan.
Is it possible for a rendition of Firework to be simultaneously terrible, and yet still better than actual Katy Perry? Yes, yes it is.
First up it’s Susan and Kevin! Tonight they’re dancing the Tango to ‘Firework’ by Katy Perry. I loved their Jive last week (incidentally my mum is Not A Fan, but we glossed over this), and am hoping Susan can deliver a Tango that’s fierce and dramatic without being stompy.
AJ has his chest out. Poor lad, he’ll catch his death.
Darcey’s dress today appears to feature insulation tape, and she’s going for an earring record again. Her earlobes are heading south for winter.
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TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in a torn white coffin lining, Claudia in half a tuxedo.
TOTAL SHOULDER COUNT: all shoulders on show.
And we’re off! Last week on Strictly, there was dancing. Some of it was good, some of it is still giving me nightmares. Inexplicably, Aston and Janette are no longer in the competition, because who the hell knows I can’t even.
This week: the road to Blackpool. DRINK DRINK DRINK.
I did not get a Strictly Pointless answer. The SHAME.
My answers: Carol Kirkwood, Simon Rimmer, Chris Hollins.
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STRICTLY COME DANCING AS A POINTLESS CATEGORY!
OK Sooty and a random man has turned up on Pointless and things have all got a bit weird.
I’m a bit proud that I knew Sacred Trust was by One True Voice on Pointless. Pop Stars The Rivals was amazing.
ALSO, apparently it was mentioned on It Takes Two yesterday that all the VTs tonight are going to be training footage only, which makes me very happy. It’s only taken nine years of moaning.
NEXT STOP: please stop Tess manhandling the celebs and talking over the judges. THANKS.
Has Sarah Greene had a drink?
This week’s Strictly Come Bingo – a swig of whatever warms your cockles for any mention of the following:
- It’s the first Argentine Tango of the season
- Spinning around makes me feel really sick
- Rumba is hard for a man
- At this stage in the competition we’re looking for *insert random thing*
- I’ve dreamed of going to Blackpool since *insert made up point in history*
Meanwhile on Pointless, we’ve learned that Dick and Dom (aka Primark Trevor and Simon) never work apart. Who would want Dick without Dom?
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Strictly Come Dancing liveblog! It’s the last week before Blackpool, with the remaining eight Strictly couples battling it out for a seat on the glitterbus up the M6 to the Tower Ballroom. Since we appear to have entered a dystopian hell where Ruth Langsford may well make it to Blackpool and Aston Merrygold definitely won’t, I’m not going to attempt to predict who might not make it, my fortune-telling days are over.
Yesterday I had my standard mid-season Strictly catch-up with my mum, who has Strong Opinions on All Matters Strictly. Aston was her favourite and she might not even bother watching any more (yeah OK mum), Alexandra’s limbs are too floppy and she needs to stop shrieking, and Anton Du Beke needs to retire somewhere a really long way away from her TV. Joe is her new favourite, but Debbie might win if Latin isn’t her undoing. She’s also not a huge fan of Shirley, who needs to make her mind up whether she’s scoring technique or entertainment value, because it’s getting right on her wick. Thanks mum.
As usual I’ll be here from 6.45pm to cast a beady eye over every wobbly Waltz and ropey Rumba; all you have to do is add your wit and wisdom in the comment box below. I’ve been painting bedrooms all day and am currently camped out in a very dusty kitchen with Dulux Frosted Dawn in my hair, so feel free to sprinkle bonus glitter, because glamour is not my middle name right now.
Gather snacks, booze, pets, poppies and children, and I’ll see you in a bit!
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