So that’s IT for another week! Only two shows left! I’m starting to feel like Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption, when he feels simultaneously excited about freedom, but also entirely institutionalised and scared of the outside world. What are weekends away and Saturday nights out again? I’ve forgotten.
I’ll be back at 6.35pm for next week’s MASSIVE SEMI, so please join me then for another spin around the dancefloor. Thank you for joining in, and have a fabulous week! Hx
Charles says lovely things about Karen, and she reciprocates with bells on. They take to the floor for a final spin around the Strictly dancefloor to Jennifer Hudson’s ‘And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going’. I’m guessing she didn’t sing the original, but it’s the version I know.
So it’s a heartfelt goodbye to Charles and Karen. I’m sad to see them go, he’s been a brilliant contestant, despite us all getting off on the wrong foot over the whole ‘talking about himself in the third person’ thing. I will miss him, he’s a hugely deserving quarter finalist.
Decision time! Obviously the judges all save Ashley, for delivering a more complex, technical and accomplished dance. Well, sure, but it’s not an equal competition, is it?
Time for the dance off! Charles and Karen are up first, and I’m quite happy to watch this Rumba again. This doesn’t seem quite as fluid as last night, but still a nice job from Charles and Karen.
OK, anyone for a change of pace? This Quickstep from Ashley and Pasha is quite something, if a little frantic. I’m knackered just watching it.
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So that’s pretty much a guaranteed goodbye for Charles. That’s a real shame, he’s made incredible progress this series and I’ve really enjoyed watching him dance, but barring a Pashley disaster this is the end of the road for him and Karen. A Rumba at this stage in the game was always a risky move, but I thought he really managed to pull it off.
As for Ashley, she must be wondering what she has to do to win the public vote. I’m afraid there’s nothing she can do; the public have their favourites and the dancing matters very little at this stage.
So who is joining Charles and Karen in the dance off? His only hope really is Lauren and AJ, really wouldn’t be able to call that one.
Joe and Dianne are safe, along with Lauren and AJ. She MUST have got top marks in the public vote to stay out of the dance off.
Which means ASHLEY AND PASHA are in the dance off.
Time for a musical interlude, courtesy of Adam Lambert singing ‘We Are The Champions’ from the Queen musical We Will Rock You. He’ll never be Freddie, but he’s pretty good second best, and also quite handsome. Katya and Neil are doing a dance – neither of them get to be Strictly champions because Neil hasn’t got a partner and Katya’s got the boot. I forget his name.
In this week’s instalment of ‘Bruno gets patronising’, he suggests Charles is only in the bottom two because people want to see his Rumba again. He knows YouTube exists, right?
So who’s in tonight’s bottom two? Stacey and Kevin are safe, along with Faye and Giovanni (oh thank god I don’t have to watch puppet madness again). So far no surprises.
First up in the dance off: CHARLES AND KAREN. Ah, that’s a shame, his Rumba was great.
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Last night on Strictly: MUSICALS SPECIAL. Lots of fabulous dancing, including a high speed Quickstep, two beautiful American Smooths, a rainbow Salsa camp-a-thon (which I have now watched four times, and I love it more with every viewing), a terrifying puppet Charleston and my fave Rumba of the series so far.
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in one-shouldered velour curtains, Claudia in a black satin nightie. Both quite fabulous. Darcey’s gone for the first white coffin lining of the season, am less keen.
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Tonight’s Musicals Week pro dance is a routine inspired by Broadway Legend Bob Fosse, because Life is a Cabernet. I’ve never seen Sweet Charity, but it looks delightfully batshit. Hippy Gorka and Johannes is absolutely my happy place.
*Cabaret. CABARET
And we’re off! Only a couple more weeks to enjoy these titles, and then we can forget these people exist for another decade.
SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all, and welcome back for tonight’s Strictly results show! Last night’s Musicals Week was rather fabulous, I thought – enjoy the quality, because we’re moving to TWO DANCES next week and things will all start to get a bit shaky.
I have no idea who’s going to be in the bottom two tonight (and have managed to avoid spoilers) – at this stage it’s anyone’s game. My ideal Grand Final would be Lauren, Charles, Joe and Stacey – it would be a triumph for the non-dancers, and a quadruple-journey extravaganza. But of course that can’t possibly happen – if Ashley or Faye end up in the bottom two at any point, the judges will send them sailing through. So this year is becoming increasingly difficult to call, and I don’t suppose we’re done with the shock results just yet.
Kick off tonight is at 7.20pm, so join me then!
Time for a recap - my faves this evening were Lauren and AJ and Joe and Dianne – no idea who is going to be in tomorrow’s bottom two, things tend to get a bit unpredictable at this point in proceedings.
We’ll find out tomorrow at 7.20pm, so please join me then for some Sunday night Strictly fun. Thank you for joining in, and I’ll see you then!
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So Faye and Giovanni at the top of the leaderboard, and Lauren and AJ and Charles and Karen at the bottom. The voting lines are open!
Scores: 8,9,9,10 - a total of 36 for Joe and Dianne. LOL.
Bruno thought it had all the sparkly energy of the Salsa, with the magic of Joseph. Craig thought it lacked rotation in the hips, but he loved how theatrical it was. Darcey loved the conviction in Joe’s face, and she loved the lifts. Shirley thought it was an A star for presentation and it had great conviction - Joe made the whole thing his own.
On a side note, I never did give the Dave Arch Orchestra/Singers props for an incredible version of House Of Pain’s ‘Jump Around’ last week, it was spectacular. More 90s hip-hop please, I can’t believe nobody has ever done an American Smooth to ‘California Love’ by 2Pac ft. Dr Dre.
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Well this is quite rainbow-tastic, and Joe has gone HARD on the guyliner. I love this Salsa - it’s camp as Christmas and Joe has no hoots to give.
Obviously as a Salsa it’s terrible in every respect, other than a very decent attempt at hip action, but I don’t care. Love Joe being lifted by Johannes, love the sheer joy and madness of this, love love love.
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And finally, it’s JOE AND DIANNE! This week they’re dancing the Salsa to ‘Joseph Megamix’ from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Ah yes, that famous Latin musical. I mean, how does one Salsa to Any Dream Will Do, or Close Every Door? We’re about to find out, and I for one am very afraid.
JASON DONOVAN KLAXON! He appears to be gargling gravel of some kind.
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Scores: 9,9,10,10 - a total of 38 for Stacey and Kevin.
Genuinely just thought Claudia said “Stacey, your mum died”, but she actually said “Stacey, your mum DI”. Oh thank goodness, this is not the time or place for that kind of news.
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Can’t decide if I’m being a Debbie Downer this evening, or the judges are on something.
Shirley is spouting poetry - it was seamless and she loved everything about it. Bruno is a crying mess, it was unforgettable and so special. Craig thought it wasn’t technically perfect, but it didn’t matter - it was real, honest and truthful (FYI those are all the same thing, Craig). Darcey thought it was a really impressive performance.
I’m not sure which version of Fantine Stacey is supposed to be, but for some reason they’ve let her keep her teeth and hair. That said, am very much enjoying Kevin’s 80s New Romantic sleeves.
Ooh, that spin looked a bit wonky, not sure what happened there. Lovely footwork from Stacey, but too much contempo-waft and not enough Foxtrot for my tastes. Oh, the judges are on their feet, just me then (again).
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Next up it’s STACEY AND KEVIN! This week they’re dancing the American Smooth to ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ from Les Misérables, because nothing says Saturday night family telly like the rock-bottom lament of a consumptive prostitute.
Scores: 9,10,9,10 - a total of 38 for Ashley and Pasha. Darcey, you can’t have a criticism then give a ten, it renders the scoring system entirely pointless.
Darcey thought it was demanding and difficult, but she had a tiny bend in her arm. Shirley loved the performance, but thought the choreography was too busy. Bruno thought it was a smash hit, and Ashley mastered it - the end sequence was breathtaking. Craig loved how fast and furious it was, despite the tiny bits of gapping.
Train! DRINK! Loving Ashley’s fabulous salmon mousse dress, and obviously this Quickstep is incredible. Hard to tell which one of those dancers isn’t a professional. LOVED that. Quickstep of the year, probably.
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It’s time for ASHLEY AND PASHA! This week they’re dancing the Quickstep to ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’ from Funny Girl. Last week Ashley was in the bottom two, at which point she probably realised that she should have pretended to be a bit more duff at dancing in the early weeks to give us a bit more J-word. Now of course it’s too late, and she’ll just have to settle for making the final and not actually winning. Don’t worry, Pashley, you’ll be in really good company.
Scores: 8,9,9,9 - a total of 35 for Charles and Karen. Feeling a bit sorry for Lauren and AJ now, she probably thought the top of the leaderboard was in sight.
Craig thought Charles did really well - the most masculine Rumba they’ve ever seen and the best male Rumba in Strictly history, in his opinion. Darcey loved the purpose, and the dance had meaning all the way through. Shirley loved Charles’ inclusion of the advanced steps, and the dance had real sensitivity and meaning. Bruno thought Charles triumphed where many men have crumbled.
Charles looks perplexed, and I’m worried about how tight those trousers in. He’s definitely giving Rumba hips a go, and there’s some lovely shaping, albeit he’s a bit hunchy in the shoulders. Nice flow and foot pressure; definitely one of the better Rumbas we’ve seen this century. Rather lovely, quite enjoyed that.
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It’s time for CHARLES AND KAREN! This week they’re dancing the Rumba to ‘Maria’ from West Side Story. This is a beautiful song, and I have quite high hopes for this Rumba – in keeping with the story, they really need to deliver the passion in an angsty, star-crossed lovers kind of way, not ‘woo sexy time’. Never thought I’d say that, but I’m all about the theatrical integrity, obvs.
Scores: 10,10,10,10 - fine, whatever.
Obviously the judges loved it - Bruno thought it was a showstopping delight and a theatrical masterpiece. Craig thought the goats were good, and Faye wasn’t bad either. Darcey thought it was extraordinary and stunning to perfection, and Shirley thought it was flawless.
Tens all round then? Obviously I need to watch that again, it didn’t float my goat much.
So Faye and Giovanni have spurned nazi/nun costumes in favour of terrifying puppetry; Faye appears to be dressed as a BDSM dinner lady, and Giovanni’s lederhosen are so tight you can definitely tell he’s a real boy.
I mean, what can I say? It’s incredibly creative, but I’m not sure I love it as a Charleston. The timing’s a bit off in places – it feels like they’ve done a tonne of work on the endless lifts and forgotten to include the basics. Hmm.
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Next up it’s FAYE AND GIOVANNI! This week they’re dancing the Charleston to ‘Lonely Goatherd’ from the Sound of Music. Have they borrowed a yodeller for the Dave Arch Singers, or does Tommy Blaize have previously unheard talents?
On paper, this should be entirely terrible, which means I’m almost certainly going to love it.
I’ve just realised what Tess’s dress looks like. She’s an actual lamb chop.
This week’s Terms and Conditions are being read by a panto genie. No idea.
Scores: 8,9,9,9 - a total of 35 for Lauren and AJ.
Shirley thought it was outstanding, and Bruno agrees - a return to form for Lauren and she danced like a dream. Craig thought it was lovely, the timing was fantastic and Lauren’s acting has improved enormously. Darcey thought it was a stunning transformation, with clean transitions and beautiful turns.
Well Lauren’s dress is dreamy, and Johannes is half naked, so it’s a good start. This is rather charming from Lauren, and a great example of how far she’s come in this competition. Lovely acting, footwork very decent and a nice frame up top – enjoyed that very much.
I’d forgotten about the superfluous backing dancers in Musicals Week. It’s bad enough at Blackpool, but the Elstree dance floor is tiny, there isn’t room for extra bodies (I will make an exception for Johannes).
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First up tonight it’s LAUREN AND AJ! This week they’re dancing the American Smooth to ‘I’m in Love with a Wonderful Guy’ from South Pacific. Pulling this off is going to require some level of emotion from Lauren, ideally the heart eyes emoji in dance form. Can they pull off a lovesick and dreamy Smooth?
VT NANA POINTS FOR LAUREN!!!
Out come the stars! Faye and Giovanni are the creepiest puppets ever seen, cannot unsee.
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess as two legs of mutton dressed as...mutton.
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Bonus pro dance, because it’s a feem week! Dianne is having a dream, which appears to involving AJ behaving in a tender fashion. OH! It’s a Mamma Mia medley, that makes more sense.
Karen drew the short straw and got the ill-fitting dungarees, and Bruno appears to be dressed as 1980s Philip Green. Club Tropicana drinks are free.
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And we’re off! It’s the QUARTER FINAL, and everyone is working their little socks off. This calls for a slow-mo VT involving celebs wandering around in knitwear.
This week’s Strictly Come Bingo SPECIAL PROP EDITION – a swig of artisanal gin for any occurrence of the following:
- Strictly Lamppost
- Café/bar tables
- Flower-strewn gazebo
- Swing
- Any kind of vehicle
Bonus Bingo: any mention of TWO DANCES.
WELCOME!
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Strictly Come Dancing liveblog! We’ve made it to the quarter finals, which means it’s time for the joyful madness that is Strictly Musicals Week! This is pretty much the same as Week 3’s Movie Week, but with only 50% of the contestants and even more cheesy acting.
There are only six couples left in the competition, which makes tonight’s show a liveblogger-friendly 65 minutes. Make the most of it – next week we move to TWO DANCES and it becomes a marathon again.
As usual I’ll be keeping a glittery eye on things from up here in the dress circle, while you guys are actively encouraged to sprinkle wit and wisdom down there in the stalls. Curtain up is at 7.05pm, so pop on your white gloves, polish your trumpet, and I’ll see you then!
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