So that’s it for another week. It’s the QUARTER FINALS next week, which means we’ve only got three Strictlys left. I’m actually quite sad about this. Anyone’s guess what’s going to happen from here on, any of the final six couples could easily win it. How exciting is that?
Tomorrow I’m heading back to the Strictly studio for the filming of the Christmas Special (get me, proper showbiz), so I’ll report back next week on whether it’s worth staying sober for a bit of Brucie action on Christmas Day.
Thanks as always for all your very funny comments and contributions, if you fancy saying hello you can find me on Twitter @heidistephens. Have a brilliant week and I’ll see you next Saturday!
So Sunetra and Brendan are out! I think Sunetra has been fabulous, and I will miss Brendan’s gorgeous choreography. But it’s the right decision.
Sunetra thanks Brendan for being a “natural dancer”. He’s a professional, Sunetra. He’s being doing it for years. Did you not know?
So who will the judges choose? Craig saves Mark and Karen, as does Darcey and Bruno. Len agrees.
Still a rather lovely Rumba, and a gorgeous rendition of Girl From Ipanema. Happy to watch both these dances again, which is a first.
I know he’s not everyone’s cuppa, but I’ve massively warmed to Mark Wright over the course of this series. Just saying.
Sunetra couldn’t be less bothered about being in the dance-off for the third time. Mentally, she’s already on the sofa next Saturday with a packet of biscuits and a Clairol foot spa.
Mark, on the other hand, WANTS IT HARD.
Next week features a Waltzathon, which will hopefully be less pointless than the Swingathon of previous years.
Pixie and Trent are safe, along with Frankie and Kevin and Jake and Janette!
Which means Sunetra and Brendan in the dance-off, and almost certainly going home.
So who is joining Mark and Karen in the dance-off? On the one hand I’d quite like it to be Jake and Janette, just to see him do that dance properly. But on the other hand I don’t ever want to see that Argentine Tango again.
Claudia’s dead crow dress has ridden up dangerously far. Any higher and we may have watershed issues.
Len’s Lens has turned into a debate into the backing dancers. “On social media, some people are in favour of the extra dancers and some people aren’t”, says Claudia.
Find me these people who are in favour. I want their names.
About half way through the bass kicks in, Alfie starts throwing shapes and the entire orchestra (bar Andre) shed their ballgowns to reveal hotpants and sparkly bras.
OK, that doesn’t actually happen. I’m just killing time here.
Bit of Strictly trivia for you - they actually filmed this bit last week when I was there, so I’ve already seen this.
Lovely dancing from Brendan and Natalie.
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It’s time for Andre Rieu and his Incredibly Overdressed Orchestra! Accompanied by Alfie Boe, because there’s a little-known bylaw that states very clearly that Alfie Boe must make an appearance on Strictly every year, along with Katherine Jenkins.
So who is safely into next week’s Quarter final, and who is in tonight’s dance-off? I want Tess’s dress. I’d wear that to Morrisons, it’s lovely.
Simon and Kristina are safe! As are Caroline and Pasha. Pasha does weird head rolls. Is that fez glued on?
First couple in the dance-off – MARK AND KAREN!
The internet tells me that Michael Flatley has retired from dance. I also saw some pictures. Some bit of him are 56 years old, but not sure about the rest. He’s basically Manilow in tap shoes.
Previously on Strictly: Around The World in 80 Minutes of Hot Mess.
Out come Tess and Clauds! Clauds is wearing the corpe of a dead crow, whilst Tess in in a fuchsia one-shouldered dress that should be hideous but is actually fabulous. Her dresses have been SO much better this year.
This is has gone proper Eurovision now. Come on, give me Flatley. Nope, just a young Flatley pretender. Boo.
And we’re off! This week’s pro dance is Tristan being preyed upon by women wearing green, to the tune of Danny Boy. Just in case we were in any way struggling with the Irish connection. I’m amazed he’s not wearing a leprechaun hat. Ooh, Riverdancers!
Someone on Twitter (@roogreen) has requested an extra request on the letter – that someone tells Tess that we can SEE when the audience is on its feet, because we are watching it on the telly. Valid point.
Casual Countryfile Weatherman update: sensible blue shirt that looks like it might be soft to the touch. Ill-advised brown jeans.
SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all, and welcome to the Strictly Sunday night results show update!
So, we’ve all had a chance to digest last night’s events, and judging by the comments I think we’re all of one mind. So I’ve crafted a letter to the BBC, as follows:
Dear Beeb,
On behalf of myself and most (if not all, it’s hard to say, I haven’t technically asked any of them) of the very wise funny commenters on the Guardian Strictly LiveblogTM, we would like to make an impassioned plea for the following:
- No themes after Blackpool, crappy or otherwise. Once we’ve got rid of all the comedy dance turns, we’d like proper dancing and sensible music please.
- No repetition of the “around the world” theme, ever. We salute your commitment to experimental dance/music fusion, but…actually no we don’t. Stop it.
- No superfluous backing dancers. The studio dance floor is about the size of a tennis court, there’s no room for extras. OR, for that matter, giant sparkly windmills and café furniture. Save them for Blackpool (or feel free to leave them out entirely).
- No crazy floor graphics, bonkers lighting, sick-making camerawork and dry ice. No need. NO NEED.
Right, I’m done. Let’s never speak of this again. Join me at 7.15 for the results, when Sunetra and Brendan are probably going home. I don’t know this for sure, but we all know it’s probably going to happen. Just saying.
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So that’s it for tonight’s show! I have no idea what the hell that was all about, and I now need a very large drink.
I’m predicting Sunetra and Brendan in the dance-off “tomorrow” probably with Mark and Karen, although it should be Jake and Janette really. But unless they come out doing the actions to the Birdie Song, it’s very likely that Sunetra and Brendan will be going home. Thank you for all your comments and contributions down below, you are amazing and brilliant.
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and I’ll see you at 7.15 tomorrow for the results! Hx
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Scores: 5, 8, 8, 8 – a total of 29 for Jake and Janette.
Craig thought it was a dance disaster – there was a mishap at the beginning and it all went wrong after that. Darcey thought it started well and she liked the fusion (nobody liked the fusion, Darcey), but it went wrong. Len thought it was a nice bit of Argentine steak with a Greek salad. Bruno loved the concept – a Eurovision tango with great entertainment value.
Bruno would like to see it again. Very good chance of that in about an hour, Bruno.
Hard to see Jakie’s feet due to a) furniture and b) two other dancing couples. But what I can see feels a bit stiff in places, and not in a good way. And also not very Argentine, due to the speeding up of Zorba the Greek. Not very sexy, and bit of a mess really. What a waste of Jake’s potential for filthy Argentine.
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And FINALLY, It’s time for Jake and Janette! This week they’re dancing the Argentine Tango to ‘Zorba The Greek’. Of course they are. Why wouldn’t they? What could possibly be more batshit insane than an Argentine Tango to Zorba The Greek?
Scores: 9,9,9,9 – a total of 36 for Frankie and Kevin. Frankie looks a bit gutted.
Bruno thought they were on the crest of a wave – full of boisterous enthusiasm and energy. However because of the speed Frankie can throw away her free hand. Craig loved the synchronicity and the jiving on a surfboard in heels – fantastic. Darcey wasn’t expecting the bounce and energy – a great jive. Len thought he was “Frankie Bridge over troubled waters”. Dear god kill me now.
Frankie has ratty hair extensions, whilst Kevin looks adorable in red shorts. This is a cracking jive from Frankie, with great lift in her legs, good timing and bags of enthusiasm. A proper jive, with no backing dancers at all. It’s a ten from me.
Bear with me people, this hell is nearly over. Next up it’s Frankie and Kevin! Tonight they’re dancing the Jive to ‘Surfin’ USA’ by The Beach Boys. Because the USA is a country and oh who cares.
Scores: 9,10,10,9 – that’s 38 for Simon and Kristina.
Len thought it was fabulous – great footwork, hold and posture. Bruno thought it was wunderbar – pure and uncluttered, and captured the essence of the dance. Craig would like to see more expression in Simon’s hands, but he’s some such a long way. Darcey thought it was beautiful.
Simon is dressed as Captain Von Trapp, and Kristina definitely is never going to be a nun. Some nice heel leads from Simon, and this is all very charming and lovely. AND the extra dancers are in the background staying out of the way, so this is unquestionably my favourite dance of the night.
Next up it’s Simon and Kristina! Tonight they’re dancing the Waltz to ‘Edelweiss’ from The Sound of Music. Not a Viennese Waltz, mind, because that would make SOME KIND OF GEOGRAPHICAL SENSE.
Scores: 9,10,10,10 – that’s 39 for Caroline and Pasha.
Darcey thought it was fabulous, and Caroline is a great dancer. Len thought it was Caroline’s best dance. Bruno tells a Tommy Cooper joke, and compares it a mosaic. Or something. Craig thought she exploded like a Pot Noodle (eh?)
I’m beginning to suspect I may be hallucinating.
So Caroline is in a Turkish bazaar dressed as a flapper, and Pasha has his chest out again. Well this is a very serviceable Charleston, but the bizarre/bazaar theming and extra dancers are making it weird and annoying.
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Damn, Tess already used it. Where’s the fun in that?
Next up it’s Caroline and Pasha! This week they’re dancing the Charleston to They Might Be Giant’s version of ‘Istanbul’. Which is in Turkey, spiritual home of the Charleston, possibly. I remain baffled.
Len comment prediction: “that was a Turkish delight from start to finish”.
Scores: 5, 7, 8, 7 – bit harsh from Craig there.
I miss Artem being Russia’s greatest love machine. Artem, why did you leave us?
Craig thought it lacked strength through the feet, and there was too much arm wafting. Darcey liked the storytelling and Sunetra’s arms. Len liked the timing and the mix of steps, but it needed more hip action and more sparkle. Bruno thought it was languid and laid back, but the foot placement wasn’t quite right.
Love Sunetra’s dress, she looks glorious. Brendan’s cricket trousers, however, are foul. This is an unexpectedly romantic Rumba, with gorgeous hips from Sunetra. Bit lightweight in places and not massively sexy, but I kind of enjoyed that.
It’s time for Sunetra and Brendan! Tonight they’re dancing the Rumba to the Dave Arch version of Michael Bolton’s version of ‘Girl From Ipanema’. The Rumba is Cuban, so they’re not even in the same hemisphere. I literally have no idea what’s going on.
Scores: 7,8,9,8 – a total of 32 for Mark and Karen.
Bruno thought Mark was the joker in the pack, which isn’t nearly as good as my imagined joker joke. There were some timing issues when he was “playing with three girls”. Craig thought the was ahead four times, and it needed smoother transitions, but Mark’s hip circles are second to none. Darcey loved the lifts, but it needed more finesse in the transitions. Len thought it lacked a bit of polish, but Mark went all in.
I’m transfixed by the glow of Mark’s chest wax. He looks like he’s been polished.
Karen has a Fraggle caught in her knickers, and Mark’s hips are giving it both barrels. Not sure about the extra dancers – it works in Blackpool as the floor is so big, but all a bit crowded in the studio.
Nice Salsa frame in hold, however, but his timing’s a little scrappy out of hold. Bags of enthusiasm and party spirit, however, enjoyed that.
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So hang on, let’s get this straight. Tonight’s theme is actually “songs with place names in the title”. Why didn’t they just say so?
Next up: Mark and Karen dancing the Salsa to ‘Fog on The Tyne’. ONLY KIDDING. This week they’re performing to ‘Viva Las Vegas’ by Elvis Presley. Place your bets on whether Mark’s hips will make an appearance.
There’s a poker joke in there somewhere, but let’s leave it for now.
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Scores: 9, 9,10,10 – a total of 38 for Pixie and Trent.
Did nobody else notice the dancing clog men? Did I imagine it? AM I TRIPPING?
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Len thought it was a bouquet of terrific dancing – they captured the how and the wow. Bruno witters on in French – he loved the flowering flourish of the movement. Craig wasn’t disappointed either, the loved the theme and Pixie’s frame was beautiful. Darcey thought it was dainty and charming, with lots of ballet moves. Anyone would think that Pixie had had dance training *raises eyebrows*
This is already a saccharine hell, with sparkly windmills and men in clogs. Loving Pixie’s sparkly corset, however. Not watching the Waltz, too busy watching the skippy blokes in the background doing Beyonce moves who’ve clearly just fallen out of an Amsterdam coffee shop.
What the hell was that?
First up it’s Pixie and Trent! This week they’re dancing the Viennese Waltz to ‘Tulips From Amsterdam’ by Max Bygraves, despite there being well over 1000km between Amsterdam and Vienna and this making NO SENSE WHATSOEVER.
And here are the celebs! I have no words. Other than “Trent: no”.
Out come Tess and Clauds! DRESS WATCH: classic LBD for Claudia, full length affair for Tess with elements of unnecessary harnessing. They’ve both worn worse. SMORGASBORD JOKE! DRINK! COMEDY FOREIGN HATS! DRINK!
This is going to be a VERY long night.
It’s a Bollywood-themed pro dance! Aljaz and Pasha are rocking the open shirt and bare chest look. HELLO. Is twerking obligatory now? Ooh, and now some proper dancers who are considerably better at this Bollywood lark. Thank goodness.
Well that was splendid. More please.
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And we’re off! Previously on Strictly – best week of the series so far. Notable highlights include bonkers Samba twerking from Jake, Simon’s armography and Mark’s Tango trousers. Alas Steve and Ola went home. This week: Spurious Around The World Theme Night!
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I love the idea of Top Gun winning an Oscar. If only there was a Best Homoerotic Volleyball category.
YES, Rock Me Amadeus was a Pointless answer. WOO!
My 80s Oscar-winning film: On Golden Pond, and No.1 Single: Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus. And if that doesn’t show my age, I don’t know what will.
Hooray, Ian and Camilla are in the Pointless final. I love Ian.
Good evening, bonsoir, guten abend and καλησπέρα! It’s Strictly Come Dancing Around The World Week, which appears to be an excuse to fuse various song and dance styles into some kind of (potentially rabid) Strictly mongrel, AND indulge all our favourite stereotypes of Jonny Foreigner. So essentially Eurovision with extra tinsel. I can’t WAIT.
I have no idea what this particular theme evening has in store, although I have heard a rumour that Trent will be sporting lederhosen. This is going to make him the spitting image of Friedrich from The Sound of Music, and everything about that is a nein von mir.
After my glitzy studio jaunt last week, I’m back on the liveblog sofa to be your tour guide through every Afro-Waltz and Scando-Salsa. Do join in with your comments below - it’s either going to be a smorgasbord of spectacular or a tapas of truly terrible. Bring passport, tickets, funny foreign money and large volumes of duty free booze.
See you at 7!
