So that is really is IT for another year of Strictly. A massive, massive thank you to everyone for turning out every week for the past three months to read the blog, spread the word and leave your wit and wisdom in the comment box. It’s lovely to have the company of a community of people who love this show as much as I do – it makes the blog so much more fun to write, and hopefully to read too.
That’s me done for 2014, so a heartfelt thank you and a Merry Christmas to all. If you’re passing and want to say hello, you can find me on Twitter @heidistephens. I’m off to crack open a bottle of something fizzy, let’s do this again next year, shall we? Keeeeeeep dancing! Hx
How good was that final? Thoroughly enjoyed that.
And the winners of Strictly Come Dancing 2014 are…CAROLINE AND PASHA! A well-deserved win, I say, they’ve been fabulous.
Pasha can’t imagine a better partner. Kimberley Walsh is kicking her TV right now.
This whole montage is basically all about journey. Drink anything you can find.
Judges’ highlights montage. I’m just making tea, anyone want one?
OH GOD JUST CROWN A WINNER AND GIVE THEM THE GLITTERBALL.
Promo for the Christmas special! I was there, and it was fabulous. Good Christmas day post-lunch viewing.
Group dance time! Greg has cakes, Scott has his crab hands, Alison and Aljaz are moving furniture, Thom is being felt up, Judy is descending on her balloons, Steve is being Tarzan, Pixie is doing some burlesque, Jake is twerking, and now it’s all getting a bit frantic. Well that was fun, will watch it again later.
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Oh god, will it ever end? Shall we just watch the entire series again on iPlayer? DRINK.
This show is still on for another 20 minutes. How the hell are they going to fill 20 minutes? Ah, I see. Another highlights montage.
That said, I’ve got tickets to see them at the O2 in June. Maybe Jason will be back by then, or they’ll have replaced him with Brian from East 17 or similar.
Ooh, it’s a medley. Love a medley. Love those suits less, if I’m honest.
All together now: NEEEEEVER FORGET WHERE YOU’RE COMING FROM.
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It’s time for a performance from three fifths of Take That!
After losing the Fun One back in the 90s, the One Who Can Dance has now also left, leaving The One That Can’t Sing, the One With Terrible Hair, and Please Give Me A Knighthood Tory Barlow.
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Another highlights montage! It’s been a really good series this year, have enjoyed very much. Scott Mills is still my favourite, although Jake’s hips come a close second.
I’m really going to miss this blog. You guys are ace. Sorry, I’m having a moment. DRINK.
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I have no idea who’s going to win, other than it almost certainly won’t be Frankie and Kevin. Could be close, I reckon.
THE DANCING IS OVER!
Time to vote for your favourite.
Scores: 10,10,10,10 – DRINK DRINK DRINK. What a way to finish.
Simon has exceeded all expectations, says Craig – he could really sense Simon and Kristina’s extraordinary partnership. Darcey got the shivers, and Simon has climbed mountains, says Len, and he could have done no more. Simon’s dance sums up the whole series – brilliant. Simon is the boss, says Bruno.
Ha, I’d forgotten about the gargling gravel version of Roxanne. That aside, this is an incredibly moody and intense Argentine from Simon and Kristina. My favourite dance of the night, totally fabulous.
I’d love to see Simon win, he seems lovely. Can we all vote for Simon please?
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So much crying. Is anyone still sober?
And finally it’s time for Simon and Kristina! They’re dancing their Argentine Tango to ‘Roxanne’ from Blackpool week. This got three tens from the judges back in the day, and was the best Argentine of the series, I’d argue. Am looking forward to seeing it again, might as well finish on a bit of Latin filth.
Scores: 10,10,10,10 – full Marks for Flasha. Again.
Bruno thought it was beautiful to look at, and a ride you’ll never forget. Craig’s heart has melted, it had plenty of swivel and Caroline is absolutely phenomenal. Darcey thought Caroline is the perfect naughty flapper, and it was the best Charleston of the series. Len thought Caroline has done her chances of winning now harm – that was great.
Much prefer this dance without all the backing dancers - It’s still a bit bizarre/bazaar for my liking, but great swivel from Caroline and more of Pasha’s chest. Can we vote for that?
Next up it’s Caroline and Pasha! They are dancing the bazaar Turkish Charleston to ‘Istanbul (Not Constantinople)‘ that they performed in Around the World Week. Personally I don’t need any reminders of Around The World week, but let’s go with it.
The VTs are all about how they’re never going to dance together again. Aren’t they all going on the tour? Caroline is crying. DRINK.
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Scores: 9,10,10,10 – 39 pointless points for Frankie and Kevin. If Craig gives a ten to anyone other than Caroline, we all have to finish the bottle.
Great dancing requires great music, says Len, and plays tribute to the band. I agree, the band are always brilliant but the singing has been LOADS better this year. Bruno thought it was a scorching Paso, Craig thought it was strong and feisty, and completely character-driven.
There are at least three pairs of Pat Butcher earrings on my TV right now. DRINK DRINK DRINK!
I’m almost certain that they said “journey” several times in this interminable VT, so DRINK.
Fabulous shaping and top Paso action from Frankie, but what IS it with Kevin and red trousers? Still, lovely to see this again, probably my favourite Paso of the series.
First up for the final dance is Frankie and Kevin! They are dancing their West Side Story Paso from Movie Week. I loved this dance – loads of skirt ruffling and proper Paso action. It also achieved a Donny Ten, will it get a real one this time?
So only three couples remain, and it’s final dance time! It’s now or never.
So who is the first couple out? It’s MARK AND KAREN!! Probably best, think there might have been rioting in the streets otherwise. Maybe in Salsa form.
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It’s time to send another couple home. Should be Mark and Karen really. Tess and Clauds have changed into a blue and white vase and a lacy vest respectively.
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STRICTLY FINAL PART TWO!
Right, time for part two. Imagine we’ve jumped forward in time to the Sunday night results show, but we’re actually watching it live.
Can’t watch Professor Green without imagining it’s David Beckham rapping.
I’ve probably told you this before, but I one pressed the button to start the National Lottery, having won the gameshow beforehand. Thankfully it was in the days before YouTube.
Competition update: Telegraph Strictly liveblog currently has seven comments, five of which are retired majors complaining that the Telegraph has a Strictly liveblog.
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So that’s IT for part one, here’s another recap for the forgetful amongst us. It’s time to take a break to eat some dinner, open another bottle, hug your children, watch Atlantis, clean the oven, vote for your Strictly favourite. Whatever does it for you, but make sure you’re back here at 8.50pm. See you then!
Darcey thought it was showdance they will never forget, with fantastic transitions between dance styles. Len thought it was Simon’s greatest hits, and Bruno thought it had plenty of action and plenty of satisfaction, packaged to perfection. Craig thought they should both be proud, the difference from Week 1 is extraordinary.
Scores: 9,10,10,10 – total of 39 pointless points from the judges.
Simon could win this, you know.
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Well this is fun – bit of Jive, bit of Charleston, bit of Salsa, some great armography, stripping and lots of attitude. Some great lifts too, and even managed to squeeze in a bit of Quickstep and weird robotics at the end. Proper showstopper, loved it.
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And finally it’s time for Simon and Kristina! Tonight they’re performing their Showdance to ‘A Little Less Conversation’ by Elvis Presley.
Scores: 10,10,10,10 – another set of full marks for Caroline and Pasha. Vote for them, because IT’S WHAT THE JUDGES WANT. Or don’t vote for them, because IT’S WHAT THE JUDGES WANT. Depends how you feel about the judges, really.
Craig thought it was full of risks, but he loved the theatricality and the lifts and the gorgeous storytelling. Darcey thought the transitions were seamless – like a beautiful contemporary ballet. Len thought it was wonderful – quiet, understated with beautiful technique. Bruno was in dance heaven – it had emotional connection and sincerity.
There is weeping from Caroline. DRINK!
Caroline’s angel dress is actually a marquee in a gale, and she appears to be rotating on Pasha’s head. She is barefoot and now her dress is a few shreds of voile curtains. This is quite intense, but incredibly beautiful. Caroline’s shaping is stunning, Pasha’s shirt is open. What’s not to love?
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Next up it’s Caroline and Pasha! They’ll be performing their showdance to the Dave Arch version of Beverly Knight’s version of Robbie Williams’ ‘Angels’. So floaty, intense and lift-tastic, then.
Scores: 8,9,9,9 – the judges really want Mark to go home first, don’t they?
Bruno’s having palpitations – so much energy and fun. Craig thought it was a bit Jane Fonda aerobics, but the energy and athleticism was fantastic. Darcey loved how Mark kept it going, and the lightness and spring in Mark’s footwork. Len thought it was full on, exactly what you want to see in a showdance.
Journey! DRINK!
Mark appears to dressed for cricket, whilst Karen is dressed as Kermit the Frog. It’s a jive-based routine, with loads of lifts and jumping about and some great kicks from Mark. It’s utterly bonkers and a bit chaotic in places, but Mark through and through. LOVED THAT.
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It’s time for Mark and Karen! They’re performing their Showdance to ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ by Queen. Because Mark is having such a good time, you see. He’s having a ball.
Scores: 9,9,10,10 – total of 38 for Frankie and Kevin. Tens are rapidly losing all their power.
Len thought it was fantastic, and Bruno loved the Hollywood Quickstep – classic, pretty and Frankie was absolutely radiant. Craig wasn’t taken with the bench stuff – it was like Kevin was training a horse (YES, CRAIG. YES). But he loved the Quickstep and the jazz inserts. Darcey thought it was stylish and sophisticated.
Frankie and Kevin are channelling their inner Fred and Ginger with a Foxtrot/Smooth/Quickstep combo. The fake bandstand from last year’s Christmas special is out, and Frankie is wearing acres of dead flamingo. It’s a gorgeous, classy bit of ballroom, although I can take or leave the jumping around on benches, like she’s Liesl in The Sound Of Music. Fabulous, but I need more WOW.
Showdance time! For the uninitiated, Showdances are about showing off the various styles of dance you’ve learned in the last 12 weeks, whilst cramming in as many impressive lifts as you possibly can. There are NO RULES, like Fight Club. Feel free to make lots of “woo” noises, like you’re watching fireworks.
AND THE VOTING LINES ARE OPEN! Here’s a reminder of the four dances you just watched literally minutes ago.
Loving Aliona’s glasses. Massive girl crush, right there.
Scores: 9,10,10,10 – total of 39 for Simon and Kristina. Since the judges have no real role this evening, might as well wave your tens around.
Darcey loved the detail and accents in the routine – a stronger, quirkier character. Len does some cockney rhyming slang. Bruno loved the technique, and how Simon’s personality has blossomed over the weeks. Craig thought it tight, clean and full of swivel – all the things Craig loves. So many jokes, so little time.
Ah yes, pearly kinds and queens. Full of fun and lots of personality, but still needs more swivel and leg action feels a bit laboured in places. But fun, and not a Cha-Cha, so that’s good.
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And finally for the first round, it’s time for Simon and Kristina! Their judges’ choice dance will be their Cockney Charleston from Week 4, because it was the first time the judges saw Simon’s personality.
Pixie is smiling and clapping up in the Clauditorium, but inside she’s furious.
Scores: 10, 10, 10, 10 – DRINK! I think the judges have their winner, BUT IT’S NOT UP TO THEM.
Craig applauds but says nothing, I smell a ten. Darcey loved the fantatic leg and bum action. Len loved the clean, crisp action throughout. Bruno gets a bit sex pesty with Caroline. Creepy.
Caroline looks like the tassel from a curtain tie-back – this is from back in the days when wardrobe hated her. It’s a cracking Cha-Cha, although Caroline’s face appears to be stuck in a permanent grimace. I’m all Cha-Cha’d out, personally. Anyone else?
Next up it’s Caroline and Pasha! The judges have chosen the Cha Cha from week one. We’ve just had a Week 1 Cha Cha, do we need another one? Sigh.
Scores: 8,9,9,9 – a total of 35 for Mark and Karen.
Bruno thought he was a cheeky chappy with a lorry load of charm. Craig thought the walks were a bit stiff and needed more hip action, but his confidence having come from the “dance gutter” is a joy to watch. Darcey loved the assurance and timing, and she’s going to miss Mark’s smile. Len thought there was terrific improvement.
They’re on their feet! DRINK!
Well this is considerably better than Week 1, but it’s still a horrible Cha Cha. Much better hip action and timing from Mark however, but the transitions still feel clunky. Despite Len’s ominous warnings of doom, he kept the caterpillar.
Next up it’s Mark and Karen! The judges have chosen their Cha Cha from Week 1, because it will show how far they’ve come. It involved a sparkly vest and a caterpillar.
Scores: 9,10,10,10 – a total of 39 for Frankie and Kevin, but unfortunately for them the judges’ scores count for nothing this evening.
Len thought it was a fantastic start – it had quantity of steps and quality of technique. There’s a woman behind Bruno wearing ALL the sequins, she looks like a Christmas tree. Craig thought Frankie redeemed herself – such a bit improvement on Week 7. Darcey’s gone rogue with the purple eyeshadow, and appears to have Lego hair.
Kevin’s shirt hasn’t improved with age, and those trousers should be illegal. Samba rolls a bit tentative, but this is a lot better than last time. And at least a proper Samba. We LOVE a proper Samba. Good work.
The judges have chosen their Samba from Week 7. At the time Craig thought it was their worst dance yet. Sweet of him.
The Dark Room of Tension is Back, and no less weird than last year.
Can I just say that Claudia and Tess have been a brilliant presenting duo this series, it’s given the show a new lease of life. Zoe was ace too. Good work, Beeb.
Out come the finalists! Frankie still looks like she’s not really having any fun.
Tess and Clauds DRESS WATCH: Clauds in blue, Tess in red, like some kind of weird political statement. Dodgy necklines abound – Claudia looks like she’s had her collarbone strapped up after an accident.
Darcey has gone bridal. DOES NOBODY HAVE A DRESS WITH TWO SHOULDERS?
Pro dance to Celebration by Kool and The Gang. Let’s all take a moment to celebrate Aljaz’s hips.
This is EXACTLY how I look when I dance to this at family weddings.
For the final time this series (apart from the closing credits and the other half of the show, but stick with me), ba ba ba ba ba ba BA, ba ba ba ba BAH.
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And we’re off! 15 weeks this show has been going on. 15 WEEKS. Mark said the J Word! DRINK! DRINK!
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Enjoy this version of Winter Wonderland on Pointless. Brucie sings it on the Strictly Christmas Special. This is better.
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Since it’s the final, we need a game of Strictly Come Bingo. It’s a long night so I’ll keep it simple– a slug of something festive for any occurrence of the following:
- Four tens
- Crying
- Mentions of the J word
- Tess informing us that the audience is on its feet
- Pat Butcher earrings
Evening all, and welcome to the 2014 Strictly Come Dancing liveblog final! After 13 weeks and a gazillion dances, it all comes down to tonight’s final four couples – Frankie and Kevin, Mark and Karen, Simon and Kristina and Caroline and Pasha.
So here’s the format for tonight’s show – it all kicks off at 6.30pm with all four couples dancing a routine chosen by the judges, followed by their Showdance. Then we have a break for 45 minutes to vote, eat dinner, and find more booze before the second show starts at 8.50pm. The couple with the lowest vote gets eliminated at this point, leaving the three remaining couples to dance their favourite dance of the series. Then more voting, all the previous contestants come back for a group dance, Take That, massive tension pause as champions are announced, presentation of naff glitterball trophy, Christmas. Everyone clear?
Difficult to call a winner at this point, but if I was a betting woman I’d say Frankie and Kevin out first, and Caroline and Pasha to win. Please note I was completely wrong last year, so I wouldn’t pay much attention to me. Also I wrote Mark and Karen to win first and then deleted it, because I have a feeling in my waters. Eggnog and a cheesy twist, anyone?
Either way it’s going to be a great final, made all the more brilliant by your sparkling commentary down below. If you’ve been lurking a while, now is the time to make a glittery entrance. See you at 6.30!
