So that’s it for the launch show! I’m sneaking in a holiday and won’t be back in time for the first live shows in three weeks, so there will most likely be a stand-in for the next liveblogs. BUT I’ll be back with spangly bells on for Week 2, then we’ll push on together for the next three months.
In the meantime you can find me on Twitter @heidistephens and doing the Bake Off liveblog on Wednesday, so come and say hello if you’re passing. Thank you all for joining in and being hilarious and brilliant, it’s very exciting to be back for another Strictly year. Cheers! Hx
Time for the grand finale, in the form of a painfully awkward group dance to another round of Jess Glynne. Keep your eyes peeled for both vote-winning style and legs-on-backwards ungainly blundering. Jamelia, Peter, Helen and Katie have definitely got some moves, but you may want to cover your eyes for Anthony and Jay, who appear to waging a two-man war against rhythm.
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So that’s all our couples paired up - I’ve got my eye on Anthony and Oti, Jamelia and Tristan, Iwan and Ola and Helen and Aljaz.
Kellie Bright is paired with...Kevin from Grimsby! Which leaves Katie and Carol, and Anton and Pasha. I’m thinking Katie and Pasha?
Katie is paired with...Anton! See, I’m crap at this. Which means Carol is partnered up with Pasha, which is all kinds of fabulous.
Anton is ecstatic. He might make it past week 3 this year.
Anita is paired with...Gleb! Lucky Anita, he’s entirely smoking hot, in a young-Patrick-Swayze kind of way.
Right, five women left to pair up! Countryfile’s Anita Rani (OH! Now I know who she is), Actress Kellie Bright, BBC Proms presenter Katie Derham, and the lovely Carol off the weather. I LOVE Carol.
Time for another special guest, in the shape of Gregory Porter and his magnificent jazz hat. He’s puttin’ on the Ritz whilst the pro dancers give it full Hollywood glitz and glamour. Love it.
Which means Peter is coupled with Janette, which is outstanding. I have high hopes for this pairing.
Anthony is paired with...Oti! They both look very happy about this, and make a rather fabulous couple.
Which means only Daniel O’Donnell and Peter Andre remain! Daniel is paired with Kristina, and her pretend-happy face is the best thing ever. “I’m very happy!”, she lies. But hey, Ben Cohen is cooking her dinner right now, so don’t be greedy.
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Let’s pair up the final three men - boxer Anthony Ogogo (HELLO #2), Irish crooner Daniel O’ Donnell (who has many, many fans, who I think we will hear about a LOT), and the legend that is Peter Andre. It’s 20 years since Mysterious Girl, but his abs are in hibernation.
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Time to go back in time to the day when the celebrities met the pro dancers for the first time. They reveal themselves, and everyone gamely pretends to know who they all are. And THIS is why they’re Strictly pros.
Back on the dancefloor, it’s last year’s winners, Caroline and Pasha. This time last year she was preparing to spend 3 months being manhandled by Pasha. Now she’s hanging out with Olly Murs. How the glitter has faded.
Ooh, it’s a bit of salsa, love it.
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Finally in this batch, it’s Kirsty! She’s paired with...Brendan! He looks delighted, Kirsty’s got her game face on.
Georgia is SO getting paired Pasha or Kevin, because she’s tiny. She’s paired with...Giovanni! He shimmies over in a mildly predatory manner, and Georgia looks terrified.
Jamelia is paired with...Tristan! She seems genuinely quite excited about this, but I suspect that may be more down to “oh thank god not Anton”.
Helen is paired with...(Aljaz Aljaz Aljaz)...ALJAZ! Daughter and I have just screamed so loudly the dog has left the room.
Right, let’s pair up some girls. First up Call The Midwife actress Helen George (love her), pop star and loose woman Jamelia, Corrie actress Georgia May Foote and TV sports presenter Kirsty Gallacher.
Some angry dancing to Seven Nation Army is occuring. Good time to grab more wine.
We’ve got3 new pro dancers this year – South African latin champion Oti is taking over from Joanne Clifton, who is off to be part of the It Takes Two team. There are two new men too, replacing the lovely Robin (boo) and Trent (meh) – Italian dance champion Giovanni and Russian Gleb. He’s no Aljaz, but easy on the eye nonetheless.
This song, however, is not actually that great. Oh.
It’s time for a musical interlude, courtesy of Jess Glynne. For those of you who aren’t down with the modern tunes, Jess was the singer on Clean Bandit’s Rather Be last summer, and one of my favourite tracks of this year, Hold My Hand. She’s really very good.
Len thought those pairings were truly inspired. Since it’s mostly about height, I’m not sure we should read too much into it.
Jeremy is paired with...Karen! She made the final last time, so clearly that can’t happen again.
Jay is paired with...Aliona, who gives a very convincing Henman fist pump. Jay already looks terrifed, like a really scary babysitter has just arrived.
Iwan is paired with...Ola, who does a very good job of not being upset that she didn’t get Peter. Well done Ola.
Ainsley is paired with...Natalie! She looks very excited, because Ainsley can’t possibly be any worse than Tim last year.
Right, let’s create some couples. First a few of the guys - chef Ainsley Harriot, 400m runner Iwan Thomas (HELLO), Jay from The Wanted and radio and TV presenter Jeremy Vine.
Out come the judges! Same line-up as last year, all looking perfectly preserved and rather fabulous. And now the stars! Eastender! Boxer! TV person! Crooner! Sport woman! Chef! Midwife actress! Andre! Corrie actress! Angry radio man! Pop star! Weather woman! Runner! Boyband guy! Proms presenter!
They are all battling for the naffest trophy in telly.
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Out come Tess and Clauds! Tess is wearing electric blue tissue paper, whilst Clauds appears to be wearing some kind of armoured corset. Top fringe, however.
Now this is more like it. I’ve missed a good latin pro dance, backed by a tinny Dave Arch rendition of J-Lo’s Let’s Get Loud that morphs into Uptown Funk. Nice bit of Charleston from Craig too, and Len’s still looking pretty nifty on the dance floor. I’m SO glad Strictly’s back, can you tell?
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It’s still going. Len is driving a train, Darcey’s pushing the trolley. No gender stereotypes being crushed here any time soon. And now the red carpet highlights. Ainsley’s hat is very sparkly indeed.
Opening VT - Surburbia, day. Tess and Claudia tumbling out of bed, pro dancers in pyjamas. Natalie in a frilly apron, Kevin in the shower, Pasha being the worst actor ever, some dancing in the street.
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And we’re off! Predictions for this evening: Tess will be wearing ill-fitting satin, Claudia’s fringe will be at Gloss Factor 9, someone will ask Peter Andre if he plans to get his abs out, like he’s still rocking the same ones he had 20 years ago.
So, a rundown on this year’s celebs. As ever I’ve played the “can you name them?” game, and scored five out of 15 this year – Ainsley Harriot, Carol Kirkwood, Jamelia, Jeremy Vine and Peter Andre. Last year was seven, if you’re keeping score.
A further five I recognise but couldn’t name without dredging my brain – Daniel O’ thingy my nan loved, Nurse Trixie off Midwife, the really hot Welsh runner, Kirsty who gamely tried to bring back Gladiators and failed, and now does sport on Sky, lovely BBC Proms lady.
The remaining five (Anita Rani, Anthony Ogogo, Georgia May Foote, Jay McGuinness and Kellie Bright) could happily dance the tango on my dining table and I wouldn’t have a clue, but that probably says more about my very limited TV viewing habits than anything else.
So, any thoughts on this year’s contestants? And is anyone willing to take a punt on the winner before we’ve even seen them shake what their mamma gave them? If I had to pick a horse right now, I’d go for Helen George. But I’m always wrong about these things, so chances are she’ll be this year’s Rachel Riley.
Evening all, and welcome to the Strictly Come Dancing 2015 launch night liveblog! In the immortal words of Will.I.am and the other three, I’ve got a feeling (woo hooooo) that tonight’s going to be a good night. Strictly’s back, yay!
So tonight is all about pairing up this year’s freshly-hatched celebs with their professional partners, whilst dressing them up in enough neon polyester to start the Great Fire Of Elstree. We could probably wrap up proceedings in ten minutes on the red button, but that’s not the Strictly way, oh no. Gird your loins for 80 minutes of cringe-tastic comedy VTs, red carpet highlights, over-exuberant pro dancing, special guests and shambolic group dancing. Then we’ll all go about our usual business for three weeks until the live shows start, and the countdown to the c-word begins.
I’ll be here from 7.15 to add a dusting of extra sparkle to proceedings; meanwhile your job is to toss glitter around the comment box for the reading pleasure of me, your fellow commenters and lurkers, and the gazillions of people who will read your wit and wisdom over their Sunday branflakes. So no pressure whatsoever.
Grab some showbiz snacks and sparkly beverages, put on your most glittery slippers, and I’ll see you at 7.15. In the meantime, why not watch the video to Peter Andre’s Mysterious Girl? He’s definitely got some* moves.
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