First eviction weekend: what a jaw-dropper. As if Judge Rinder as a dancing Ken doll, Naga’s insane hair extensions and Ed Balls dressed as one of the Dukes of Hazzard weren’t enough, there was an actual scandal.
In a show where Craig wearing a loud shirt is shocking, Anastacia’s decision not to compete in the dance-off was the closest Strictly comes to controversy. Top marks to her for refusing to dance with a severe injury, the only sensible thing to do in the circumstances. Of course, it’s a bit sad for Melvin, who didn’t get a chance to redeem himself. A slightly weird and unsatisfactory result.
Meanwhile, the knockout star of this series so far is not Danny Mac (although he’s great) – it’s Oti Mabuse, the South African professional dancer who was paired with boxer Anthony Ogogo in her debut series last year. Mabuse’s choreography is knock-out and she somehow manages to conceal the off-putting Terminator drive that she no doubt possesses in spades. This is hers to lose.
The judges meanwhile already seemed a little impatient. “Firm, fair, fearless, unflappable or as we like to call them ... the judges.” Well, I’m sure they’re fearless and unflappable, but they are usually more concerned with being encouraging and patronising than firm and fair at this stage in the competition, leaving it to Craig to be the only one who admits what we really just saw.
Darcey: woman of a thousand hairstyles
Dressed first as a brunette version of the evil duchess from The Sound of Music and then as queen of the prom, Darcey does seem a bit more relaxed this series. Is she going to escape being typecast as the lady lech? She looked embarrassed when Ore was being a hunky firefighter in her face and couldn’t seem to recover in time for the comments: “We’ve got a night, haven’t we?” (What?) “Your hands were a bit frilly in places,” she added. Hilariously, Ore took this as a compliment, demonstrating a level of delusional self-belief that bodes well for his survival in this competition.
Bruno: the jack-in-the-box
A classic Bruno-ism tonight. “Dance is not just doing step. It is the intention behind it. It is telling story.” This is what Bruno lives for: the intention. And it explains why he will mark a dance slightly higher even if it’s not technically perfect. Bruno is also brilliant at euphemisms, sitting somewhere between Len’s head pats and Darcey’s platitudes. To Will Young: “Your performance level is brilliant.” This is Bruno code for: “Your dancing is not brilliant.”
Len: the diamond geezer on a farewell tour
“Clamp it down early doors!” Len was laying down the law about lifts, which has been his trademark from series one. And he enjoyed having a disagreement with Craig about Claudia’s hyperextension. Speaking as neither a dancer or an acrobat, I applaud her flexibility but I’m with Craig here: it’s not ballroom dancing, is it? I wonder if Len is picking a fight with Craig for the sake of it: “Craig’s philosophy is: ‘Never leave a turn unstoned.’” Ouch. Len should not be underestimated. Of all the judges, he seems in the most control of his pigeonhole. Tess (on Danny): “Len thought he’d fallen asleep and woken up in week 10.” Cue daggers from Len. He might be retiring. But it’s not because he’s knackered. It’s because he’s had enough.
Craig: the great choreographer trapped inside a pantomime dame
It broke my heart when Craig had to give advice to Anastacia, who risked longer-term injury (and was evidently in pain). He was kind and constructive. Did the shock of Craig’s compassion push her over the edge? “If Craig is being generous to me, maybe it really is a bad idea to dance with torn scar tissue from a mastectomy.” Seriously. Anastacia is nails.
Tess’s reaction to Craig’s comments on Claudia Fragapane was typical of the position he is supposed to occupy: “A sunny outlook with one dark cloud.” Tess on Naga: “I want to say thank you to the judges. But I’m not sure. Thank you to three of the judges.” Yes, yes, we get it. Craig is the bad guy. Craig on Melvin: “Your posture was a worry. It was sort of mediocre, I’m afraid.” Tess: “What he means is that there is room for improvement.” Yes, that is what he means. Leave him alone, Tess – he is allowed an opinion. It is the only thing that is standing between this show and a gigantic pile of sugar. And he knew who would be voted out.
This week’s verdict
Naga needs to up her game. But she knows that. There’s something special about Louise, but sooner or later Kevin will need to start pushing her to show more personality. This is a surprise; but don’t underestimate the Balls.
