The 2023 Strictly Come Dancing lineup has been unveiled in full. The BBC ballroom contest returns for its 21st (I know, right?) series in September. After weeks of rumours about everyone from Jill Scott to Phillip Schofield, from Stuart Broad to the ghost of Logan Roy, our 15 brave ballroom celebrities are now officially confirmed. So who will be getting dipped in glue and rolled in glitter this autumn? Who might win? Who most definitely won’t? And who will lose several stone, have a massive midlife crisis and risk their marriage?
Dust off your scoring paddles as we proudly present this year’s choreographic crop, ranked from worst to best in terms of likely success. Let the self-conscious shimmying commence …
15. Nikita Kanda
In a lineup filled with more “Who?”s than a Time Lord reunion, the BBC Asian Network presenter is among the biggest. Her official bio from the BBC even resorts to listing famous people she has interviewed – Nick Jonas and couple of people from Bridgerton. She had better be able to dance or she’s toast. Pray she gets paired with Ukrainian pro Nikita Kuzmin, making it Nikita squared.
14. Amanda Abbington
No, not Katherine Parkinson. It’s the one who looks like her. Abbington was the first contestant to be unveiled and the BBC was blindsided by an immediate backlash. The Sherlock actor has been accused of transphobia, duly deleted her Twitter account and fans have threatened to boycott the show. Hardly the sparkly start that producers had in mind. Let’s hope it’s not an omen.
13. Eddie Kadi
Kadi is a British-Congolese standup and Radio 1Xtra DJ and might not be a household name, but is certainly not without his fans. He was the first black British comic to headline the O2, hosted the Mobo awards and supported Lauryn Hill on tour. He is sweetly enthusiastic, using words such as “wow” and “vibe” a lot. Sadly, radio jocks tend not to fare terribly well on Strictly, so he wll struggle to reach Halloween week.
12. Adam Thomas
The Mancunian actor is best known for Emmerdale and scoffing koala anuses in the I’m a Celebrity jungle. His wife is a trained dancer, so expect “ringer” grumbles. And gratuitous shirt removal. He has two similarly C-list brothers, Ryan and Scott, with whom he has co-hosted podcasts and travelogues. You have probably forgotten him already. Thomas Adam, was it? Scott Ryan? No, sorry, it’s gone.
11. Jody Cundy
As a decorated Paralympic swimmer and cyclist, Cundy has absolutely shedloads of medals. Hopefully he fares better than previous Paralympians, who have tended to plateau mid-contest, or he might find himself back on his bike by Blackpool.
10. Ellie Leach
Another soapy sort in a lineup rather too reliant on them. Still only 22, Leach played Coronation Street’s Faye Windass for more than a decade, was put through the wringer with storylines including teen pregnancy, prison and premature menopause. Oh aye, chuck, it’s non-stop lolz on those cobbles. A ballroom battle between the big three soaps (Emmerdale’s Thomas v EastEnders’ Brazier v Corrie’s Leach) should provide a vaguely diverting subplot.
9. Krishnan Guru-Murthy
Everyone enjoys a rug-cutting newsreader. This year, we have two. Channel 4 News stalwart Guru-Murthy professes himself “surprised, delighted and slightly confused” to be taking part. Viewers will probably feel the same about the 53-year-old loosening his tie and hitting the floor, like a drunk disco divorcee. Even Northern Ireland minister Steve Baker, whom Guru-Murthy was caught calling a C-bomb last year, has publicly backed him. Clue: the word in question wasn’t charleston. Or Craig.
8. Annabel Croft
New glitterballs please. Together with Angela Rippon, tennis player turned pundit Croft could make it Strictly’s year of mature women, which is frankly long overdue. Fit-as-a-fiddle for 57 and full of charisma, Croft looks like a top seed. Hopefully, she won’t emit a tennis-style constipated grunt with every dance move. Expect the phrase “Crofty-ography” to be coined. Memo to Strictly’s musical director, Dave Arch: start practising the Wimbledon theme music (it’s called Light & Tuneful, if that helps your Spotify search).
7. Zara McDermott
She got a text! From BBC talent bookers! There has been some pearl-clutching about Strictly casting its first ever Love Island alumnus, but it has already dipped its twinkle toes into Towie (with Mark Wright) and Made in Chelsea (with Jamie Laing), so that snobby ship has sailed. As a former government adviser who has pivoted to making hard-hitting documentaries, McDermott is smarter than the average Casa Amor meat puppet. She used to watch Strictly with her nan. Sob stories are, like death and taxes, a grim inevitability. She needs to stop billing herself as “a content creator”, though. Aren’t we all, babes?
6. Les Dennis
They saved the Les until last. Yes, it’s Strictly Come Dennis. One of this year’s headline hoofers is the 69-year-old entertainer best known for hosting Family Fortunes and talking to the chickens on Celebrity Big Brother when he was in the midst of post-Amanda Holden heartbreak. Much-loved Liverpudlian Leslie was first scouted for Strictly eight years ago when he was in Coronation Street. Cue Mavis Riley impression: “Well, I don’t really know.” He turns 70 in October but is still starring in stage musicals, so won’t just be comedic cannon fodder. Our survey said … Surprise finalist?
5. Bobby Brazier
Get out of my pub. Get under my glitterball. Most promising of the three soapsters is the 20-year-old who plays EastEnders’ Freddie Slater. All boyish curls and cheeky charm, Brazier has sashayed down the runway for Dolce & Gabbana, which is a long way from Whitney’s clothes stall at Walford market. The son of presenter Jeff Brazier and the late Jade Goody, he has overcome a childhood in the media spotlight to become a mental health advocate and all-round diamond geezer. Cue dramatic doof-doofs.
4. Angela Scanlon
“I’m terrified, I’m excited and I have so many questions,” says the Irish presenter. “Will they make me tan? How itchy are sequins? Do they do flesh-coloured sports bras?” To which the answers are, in order: definitely, quite and yes, which you know full well because you’re a former fashion stylist. Scanlon also has dance experience so could be a dark horse. OK, a pale horse that has been painted orange.
3. Nigel Harman
He might be cursed with the nation’s least fashionable first name (blame Brexit), but the dude can dance. He’s best known as EastEnders bad boy Dennis “Mini-Den” Rickman and recently joined the cast of Casualty, which is pretty much compulsory for Equity Card holders. In between, Nifty Nige starred in West End musicals and won an Olivier award. He is bang into mindfulness and meditation, so expect hippy-dippy VTs, like a Poundstretcher Paltrow.
2. Layton Williams
Fab. Ew. Lous. The jazzhandy actor has stage school training, dance experience and is bookies’ early favourite. He’s played the title roles in West End productions of Billy Elliot and Everyone’s Talking About Jamie. Screen roles include Bad Education and I Hate Suzie Too – on which he played, fittingly, the host of a TV dance contest. He’ll form half of Strictly’s third ever all-male couple. They could well become the first same-sex partnership to win. Better Layton than never.
1. Angela Rippon
Let’s face the music and dance. Strictly’s oldest ever contestant turns 79 in October but she is no token box-tick. The former newsreader is fondly remembered for pushing away her desk and high-kicking with Morecambe and Wise on their 1976 Christmas special. She has starred in stage musicals, can still do the splits, chaired the English National Ballet and spent three years hosting ye olde mothership show Come Dancing. The Devon dynamo could be this year’s Debbie McGee.
• This article was amended on 11 August 2023 to correct the age of Les Dennis, who is 69, not 60; and to remove an unsuitable moniker.
