So that’s Week 2 over! Thank you all for joining in – I’ll be back next week for another spin round the Strictly dancefloor; you’ll also find me liveblogging the Great British Bakeoff on Tuesday, so swing by if you’re passing. Thanks all, and have a fabulous week!
Susannah and Anton say nice things about the Strictly family and each other, then take a final spin to ‘The First Cut is The Deepest’ by Rod Stewart. Harsh.
Judging time! All the judges save Lee and Nadiya, as expected.
Which means SUSANNAH AND ANTON are the first couple to leave the Strictly dancefloor. It was inevitable – Susannah has looked like she’s having root canal since the launch show, and Anton’s been phoning it in for a while.
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And now another spin of Lee and Nadiya’s Jive, which really wasn’t that bad last night, and isn’t bad now. The only way Lee could be safer is if those Blue Suede Shoes had steel toecaps.
Time for another look at Susannah and Anton’s Foxtrot. After years of making women feel rubbish about themselves on What Not To Wear, I like to imagine that Susannah is dancing in the Lead Boots of Karma.
Movie week preview! Courtesy of a comedy VT. There’s going to be a Harry Potter-themed pro dance, which is likely to be considerably less alluring than this evening’s. Kevin gets to be Harry, obviously. I’m amazed they haven’t done it sooner.
Incidentally, according to the Pottermore website, I’m a Hufflepuff. Gutted.
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If I had to pick two dances I really don’t fancy watching again, it would probably be these two. Unless Lee puts his legs on backwards, the outcome is pretty guaranteed. But let’s go through the motions regardless.
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Ashley and Pasha are safely through, along with Stacey and Kevin, Graeme and Oti and Kate and Aljaz.
Which means SUSANNAH AND ANTON are in the dance-off with Lee and Nadiya.
This show has more filler than Wickes. GET ON WITH IT.
First Dance Debrief of the series – they’ve never quite made this name stick the way Len’s Lens did. It needs a jingle.
Time for a musical interlude, courtesy of gravel-voiced chart-botherer George Ezra. He seems like a nice man, and his music does not offend my ears. My mum is a big fan.
Dance accompaniment is provided by Kevin and Dianne. Kevin has popped his decorating clothes on, and they appear to be doing some kind of meth-fuelled dance medley.
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I’d completely forgotten that Week 3 is Movie Week. It’s always too soon for a theme.
Also through to next week: Danny and Amy, Lauren and AJ, Vick and Graziano and Dr. Ranj and Janette.
First couple in the bottom two: LEE AND NADIYA. Curse of the forgettable middle.
This announcement process feels unnecessarily complicated. Do not like.
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So who is safely through to next week, and who is the first couple in the dance off? Katie and Gorka are through, along with Charles and Karen, Faye and Giovanni, Joe and Dianne and Seann and Katya
First couple in the bottom two: BEING REVEALED LATER IN THE SHOW. Oh good lord kill me now.
LAST NIGHT ON STRICTLY: A few stonkers, a few stinkers, plenty of somewhere in between, as you’d expect at this point in the competition. Lest we forget, it’s only Week 2. Tess lost the plot and had to be rebooted half way through. Craig gave his Mean Girls Medication to Bruno for the evening.
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in a tablecloth held together by string, Claudia in stripy bacofoil. Hideous x2.
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And we’re off! Time for the first Sunday night pro dance of the season, this week featuring neon, plinths, guyliner and ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons.
Also SAME SEX COUPLES. Hooray! This is great, more please.
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“I’ve got snake perfume on my hand”. I bet you have, you absolute minx.
So for the one and only time this season (sob), this week’s Countryfile Casual Weatherperson is the splendid Chris Fawkes, resplendent in a well ironed Blue Harbour at M&S shirt and trousers combo.
He seems very sensible, and probably does his tax return in plenty of time and pays his credit card off each month. Give him a rolled up sleeve and he’d make the BBC weather pin-up calendar.
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Josh on Countryfile is an absolute superstar. Will miss watching his story pre-Strictly. Why are you doing this to us, BBC?
As Avenueman has just pointed out down below, this is the only week we get to watch Countryfile before Strictly. As of next week, Countryfile is on earlier and Doctor Who is on before Strictly.
BOOOOOOO. Am really not a fan of Doctor Who, so I’m afraid there will be no incidental pre-Strictly liveblogging after tonight.
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SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE
Evening all, and welcome back for our very first Sunday results show! Watching Countryfile and waiting for Strictly feels like autumn has arrived, it’s nice. I have a mug of tea tea and a blanket like an absolute nanna.
So last night’s show was the traditional Difficult Second Week – once the excitement and adrenaline of Week 1 is over, our celebs realise they’ve got to grind out a new dance every week until Christmas. They’re all knackered, the show goes on for years, and somehow there are still fifteen couples, some of whom we’d completely forgotten about.
That said, we can also start to see our celeb/pro pairings sliding into three clear groups (for now, anyway – it’s a long time ‘til Christmas):
Top of the pile - Joe and Dianne, Danny and Amy, Faye and Giovanni, Ashley and Pasha
Packed for a journey (direction as yet unclear) - Stacey and Kevin, Kate and Aljaz, Dr. Ranj and Janette, Graeme and Oti, Charles and Karen, Vick and Graziano, Lauren and AJ.
Not going to Blackpool, lucky to make it to Halloween – Susannah and Anton, Seann and Katya, Katie and Gorka, Lee and Nadiya.
Tonight we need to send our first couple home – my money’s on Susannah and Anton, but the voting is always bonkers at this stage so who knows what the bottom two will look like. Time will tell – see you at 7.15 to find out!
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So that’s IT for tonight’s show! Many thanks for coming along and joining in. I’ll be back tomorrow at 7.15pm for the very first results show, although I’ll probably be knocking around about 6.45pm in anticipation of the Countryfile Casual Weatherperson, as is traditional. Feel free to come and join in – you can find me on Twitter @heidistephens in the meantime. See you tomorrow!
Time for a giant recap – I loved Joe and Dianne and Dr. Ranj and Janette this week, less keen on Susannah and Anton and Seann and Katya. My money’s on these two couples in the dance off tomorrow, but there are few in the middle I always forget about, so they might not get many votes either. Strictly is a cruel mistress.
The dancing is finished! Thank goodness. The combined 2-week leaderboard has Pashley at the top and Susanton at the bottom. THE VOTING IS OPEN!!!
Scores: 8,8,7,9 - a total of 32 for Pashley. Bruno’s gone early.
Craig thought Ashley was good, and Darcey loved the content and performance. Ashley must be a fast learner*. Shirley loves the personality upstairs (I have no idea what this means, but it sounds FILTHY). Bruno thought it was an amazing Cha Cha disco dazzler, and Ashley’s hips don’t lie.
*or a highly trained professional dancer. You decide.
Ashley has unleased the tinsel and the Carmen heated rollers. She has great hip action and ALL the hair. Great Cha Cha Cha basics, great performance, Pasha looks very happy. This is what we’ll get from Ashley every week until Christmas, so strap in.
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And FINALLY, it’s ASHLEY AND PASHA! Tonight they’re dancing the Cha Cha Cha to ‘Boogie Wonderland’ by Earth, Wind and Fire. Gird your loins for Disco Cha Cha, it’s wrapping up the show whether you like it or not.
Scores: 2,4,4,5 - a total of 15 for Seann and Katya. Generous, Bruno. Katya looks like she’s absolutely had enough of this nonsense.
Bruno doesn’t know what to say - it was all the right steps at the wrong time. Craig has no words – it all went horribly wrong. Darcey loved the focus and intensity, but the timing was all off. Shirley liked Seann’s hair, and gets a hug for that.
Not sure what’s worse – the opening joke, the wet-look trousers or the fact they’re wearing different shades of purple.
Sadly Seann and Katya appear to be Jiving in different timezones, and it’s horrible. Not even funny horrible - not sure what happened at the end, but it looks like Seann was trying to wrestle Katya to the floor and I’m a bit worried for her welfare. Was that intentional?
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Next up it’s SEANN AND KATYA! This week they’re dancing the Jive to ‘I’m Still Standing’ by Elton John. This presumably refers to Katya’s status after being shoved around the dancefloor by Seann last week. I really want Seann to take this seriously, I think he’s got huge potential for Strictly Journey of The Year.
Scores: 5,6,5,6 - a total of 22 for Lauren and AJ.
Shirley thought some bits were sensational, but other sections seemed a bit heavy. Bruno loved the lifts, but it needed more attack and sharpness in the leg action. Craig agrees, it was a bit soft in places and needed more energy, but the lifts were spectacular. Darcey wanted more quality in the transition, but her core action was very impressive.
Lauren and AJ have had a barney, but they soon make up through the medium of Charleston. It’s a bit clunky for a Charleston from Lauren at the start, but she soon warms up and manages some incredible lifts. The routine works really well around her arm (which is no mean feat), but her swivel needs more welly.
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Only three left, and it’s time for LAUREN AND AJ! This week they’re dancing the Charleston by the Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox version of Dua Lipa’s ‘New Rules’. If there’s one thing New Rules does NOT NEED, it’s a Charleston-friendly overhaul. Leave well alone.
Scores: 8,8,7,8 - a total of 31 for Faye and Giovanni.
That took Darcey’s breath away – Faye’s musicality, phrasing and drama had incredible conviction. Shirley loved the storytelling but it needed heel leads and there was no driving movement. Bruno thought it was a Viennese thriller, and manages to namedrop Bodyguard (other police dramas are available). Craig thought they both shattered the Viennese Waltz, and they shouldn’t listen to Shirley – it was absolutely GAWJUS.
There appear to be five Giovannis on stage, which I’m very much OK with. This Viennese Waltz has plenty of drama and some lovely footwork from Faye – she’s got a great frame and can deliver an incredible performance. I think she’s got her eyes closed in the spinning, which I really don’t blame her for. Really nice, enjoyed that a lot.
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Next up it’s FAYE AND GIOVANNI! This week they’re dancing a Viennese Waltz to the Seal version of James Brown’s ‘It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World’. I have very little recollection of what they danced last week, even though they were on last – I think I was pretty delirious by then.
Scores: 5,6,7,6 - a total of 24 for Dr. Ranj and Janette.
It was definitely hot enough for Craig – he wanted more basic Salsa but the performance was tremendous. Darcey loved the spicy hot doctor, and Dr. Ranj kept going despite Janette’s wardrobe malfunction. Some of the steps lacked rhythm, but Dr. Ranj’s personality will take him through. Bruno thought it was a firecracker, it had great energy and passion despite the lack of Salsa hips. LUBRICATE.
What in god’s name is Dr. Ranj wearing? It’s like a binbag Halloween costume. This Salsa is entirely bonkers, there’s limited hip action, Janette’s dress is in a tangle and the lifts are a mess, but I love it. It’s camp, it’s fun, some of the Salsa basics are really not that bad and I can’t stop smiling. AGAIN AGAIN (but not tomorrow, obvs).
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Can I just put it out there that I love Dr. Ranj and I don’t care who knows it.
Time for DR. RANJ AND JANETTE! This week they’re dancing the Salsa to ‘Fireball’ by Pitbull feat. John Ryan. He delivered a very confident Cha Cha last week, so they’ve obviously decided to avoid ballroom for the time being and stick with the dances where Dr. Ranj can grin like a lunatic and inject a little Latin party spirit. I am here for this.
Scores: 7,7,6,7 - a total of 27 for Vick and Graziano. Craig’s being very nice this evening.
Bruno thought it was a classic Waltz, and really enjoyed it. Craig thought Vick owned it, and Darcey agrees – Vick is made to do ballroom and has wonderful grace and control. Shirley thought it was the epitome of femininity, but Vick’s core needs work. Big improvement from last week, however.
Vick’s white dress is dreamy, and Graziano has popped a bobble in the hair. This is a rather gorgeous Waltz – it’s got a tonne of gapping but Vick’s arms are delightful and I’m fully romanced. Nice work.
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Who’s up next? It’s VICK AND GRAZIANO! This week they’re dancing the Waltz to ‘Somewhere’ from West Side Story. Last week Graziano put on the Graziano Bare-chested Jive Show, and Vick was very much just making up the numbers. Hopefully this Waltz will be a bit more of a showcase of her dance potential. We can but hope.
We’re over half way! STAY STRONG WE’LL MAKE IT THROUGH TOGETHER.
Tess has absolutely lost it. Somebody turn her off and back on again.
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Scores: 7,7,7,7 - a total of 28 for Danny and Amy.
Shirley liked the straight leg action and great upper body, but Danny needs more rhythm. Bruno loved the content, it was sharp as a razor. Craig thought it was fantastic, and Darcey agrees – it had great speed and extraordinary posture.
Ah, what do I know. I’m under a blanket on my sofa halfway down a bottle of wine.
Love Amy’s green dress, and this routine is quite something. Great intent from Danny, but his natural ballet/contemporary dance style is holding him back from decent hip action and soft knees. He’s far too rigid, needs to loosen up those hips. Great routine though.
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Next up it’s DANNY AND AMY! This week they’re dancing the Cha Cha Cha to ‘Beggin’ by Madcon. Danny obviously has some inner jazz hands, am interested to see how much welly he throws into this week’s Latin.
Scores: 6,7,6,7 - a total of 26 for Lee and Nadiya.
Darcey loved the energy, but the kicks and flicks were turned in. Shirley liked the kicks at the beginning, but it wasn’t sustained through the routine. Bruno thought it was strong performance, and Lee should be proud of that. Craig thought it was a bit heavy and flat-footed in places, but Lee has a wonderful sense of musicality that shines right through.
Lee is sweeping in very tight trousers, while Nadiya is polishing - I’m hoping for a clean Jive at least. Lee has some decent Elvis moves, but his feet turn inwards on the Jive basics and it all feels a bit frantic. Great timing though, and a lot better than last week.
Can’t take my eyes off those blue suede Cuban heels. Want.
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It’s time for LEE AND NADIYA! This week they’re dancing the Jive to ‘Blue Suede Shoes’ by Elvis Presley. Lee is actually wearing blue suede shoes, which earns us all a drink for literal interpretation.
Always thought this was an odd song. Anyone who would prefer you to step on their face rather than their shoes probably needs to invest in some decent suede cleaner. Clarks do a good one.
Scores: 1,4,4,3 - a total of 12 for Susannah and Anton.
Also kissing - DRINK
Craig thought even the smoke couldn’t cover that disaster. Darcey slaps him - she thought Susannah looked the part but she needs to let Anton lead her and not glaze over. Shirley thought it was an improvement over last week, but it had some mistakes. Bruno was stunned - Anton was dragging Susannah and the Samba was a masterpiece compared to that. Rude, Bruno.
Anton’s gone full top hat, and this is a billion times better than last week (a billion times zero is till zero, but still). Susannah is channelling a heavily sedated Duchess of York and the dry ice is quite forgiving on her footwork (DRINK). Oh, it’s all gone horribly wrong. Ah well, it started well (ish).
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Who’s next? Oh joy, it’s SUSANNAH AND ANTON! This week they’re performing a Foxtrot to ‘They Can’t Take That Away From Me’ by Frank Sinatra. I’m quite looking forward to this, on the basis it’s technically impossible for it to be any worse than last week’s fruitloop Samba.
Scores: 7,8,8,8 - a total of 31 for Joe and Dianne.
Bruno thought it was charming and energetic, like watching a playful puppy. Craig thought Joe ticked a lot of boxes, and Darcey loved Joe’s characterisation and timing - a star performance. Shirley loved it, Joe didn’t miss a beat.
It’s hard not to love Joe, isn’t it? He’s not here to come second, and he’s not bothered about looking like an idiot. Great swivel and timing, excellent ladder slapstick, bags of fun all round. LOVED that.
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Next up it’s JOE AND DIANNE! This week they’re dancing the Charleston to ‘Cotton Eyed Joe’ by Rednex. Because his name is Joe, and he has eyes like Dot Cotton.
Interesting to see Joe getting the crowd-pleasing dances under his belt early – am a bit worried he’s keeping all the ballroom until later and won’t have enough content to keep the Youtube fandom happy. But in the meantime, what’s not to love about a Charleston to Cotton Eyed Joe? It’s pure dad at a wedding stuff.
In his VT, Joe has come back to the ‘shire, because he used to be a roof thatcher *shrug emoji*
Scores: 6,7,7,7 - a total of 27 for Kate and Aljaz. I’ll watch that again later, I clearly wasn’t paying attention.
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OK just me, Shirley gave that a standing ovation. Bruno thought it had allure and the Tango was great. Craig thought Aljaz has transformed Kate, and Darcey loved it too. I’ll get my coat.
Kate looks a bit like a Debenhams mannequin, and I’m finding this Tango a bit weird. Just me?
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Time for KATE AND ALJAZ! This week they’re dancing the Tango to ‘No Roots’ by Alice Merton. This is a banger of a tune, and our first Tango of the series (I’m not counting Seann manhandling Katya last week, that was just road rage).
Scores: 3,5,3,4 - a total of 15 for Graeme and Oti. Also really not here for “nobody likes a limp man on the dancefloor”, Graeme. Not cool in any way.
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Darcey was confused by the groove, and it didn’t really work for her. Shirley agrees, it wasn’t an American Smooth for her. Bruno loved Graeme inventing a new dance, but Craig thought it fell apart in hold and it didn’t work on any level. Brutal.
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Oti looks all kinds of fabulous, and I love the attitude in this American Smooth - but it’s got too much going on out of hold for my liking and the transitions lack proper flow. Just a bit all over the place, and I’m not sure what this dance is. Shame.
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Next up it’s GRAEME AND OTI! This week they’re dancing the American Smooth to ‘Try A Little Tenderness’ by Otis Redding. Based on last week’s Samba, Graeme is currently my dark horse of this competition; he’s got hips, he’s got confidence, and he’s got the goddess Oti to lead him all the way to the Glitterball. Watch this space.
In the VT, Graeme is singing for Oti. Not sure whether this is supposed to be comedy or not, but please drink until you can drink no more.
Scores: 2,4,3,4 - a total of 13 for Katie and Gorka.
Craig thought it was stompy and Katie’s jawline was too high - it was very plankish. Darcey thought it was transformation and Katie’s shaping was good, but she needs to carry it through into her body. Shirley thought Katie struggled to stay on the right foot, and it needed more Spanish flamenco. Bruno liked the aggression and intent, but he wanted Katie to play the part more.
Katie is giving her entrance both barrels, and looks entirely fierce. Her actual Paso is mostly stomping about and her timing is a shambles, but I salute her going for it and she looks so much happier than last week.
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It’s time for KATIE AND GORKA! This week they’re dancing a Paso Doble to ‘Confident’ by Demi Lovato. Last week Katie was anything but, so I’m guessing this is Gorka throwing a giant reminder her way. Come on Katie, you can smash this.
Scores: 5,6,7,7 - a total of 35 for Charles and Karen.
Bruno thought it was suave and elegant, and Charles led with great confidence, despite a mistake. Craig thought Charles’ topline was a bit wobbly and it lacked heel leads, but he styled it out. Darcey loved the jazz style detailing, but Charles has a ticking head. Shirley’s heart was all of a flutter. Is she wearing drill bits for earrings?
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Well this is all rather charming - a proper Quickstep with plenty of jazzy details. Nice footwork from Charles Venn, although a bit out of control in the detailing. OOH, Charles Venn can do the splits! Nice work, Charles Venn.
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Next up it’s CHARLES AND KAREN! This week they’re dancing the Quickstep to ‘Sir Duke’ by Stevie Wonder. This song will forever be a terrible Samba by Lulu and Brendan, so am hoping this will cleanse the memory.
Charles Venn just referred to Charles Venn in the third person again. RED CARD RED CARD.
It’s time to kick off the weekly circus of Terms & Conditions. I feel like I should know who this man is, but I’m afraid I don’t. He looks like he works in Carphone Warehouse.
Scores: 4,5,5,6 - a total of 20 for Stacey and Kevin.
Hmm, not sure about the parachute webbing on the back of Claudia’s dress.
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Shirley is sure Stacey is going to improve over the coming weeks, but she needs to focus on her standing leg. Bruno thought Stacey had all the tools, but she needs more consistency and it gets a bit scatty at times. Craig thought it was stiff and Stacey danced on bent knees with an unruly top half. Darcey liked Stacey’s free spirit, and her energy is infectious.
The Cha Cha Cha is incredibly difficult. WHO KNEW.
This Cha Cha is quite a bouncy affair, but once they get into actual Latin Stacey’s footwork and leg action is quite nice. But far too much nightclub abandon for my liking, it looks like she’s had four WKDs and a bottle of Cava before she went out. Not a fan.
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First up tonight it’s STACEY AND KEVIN! This week they’re dancing the Cha Cha Cha to ‘Came Here For Love’ by Sigala feat. Ella Eyre. This is a tune, and I have high hopes for these two – it’s a nice partnership and their Quickstep last week showed lots of promise. Looking forward to their first Latin.
Tedious comedy VT. DRINK.
On further inspection, I think Claudia’s pantsuit might be midnight blue. Please update your records.
Out come the stars! Katie and Ashley have both been at the crimpers, Anton’s dressed for a wedding, and Lauren’s bagsied the Flavia wig. There’s still far too many of them, can we get rid of half a dozen?
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in a strappy black dress, Clauds in a fabulous black pantsuit. It’s the most glamorous funeral ever, I approve.
Out come the judges! Shirley’s in a pink bandage and Darcey’s flashing her knickers before the watershed.
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And we’re off! Everyone has upped their game this week, and nobody wants to be the first couple to go home. They’re all broken, poor lambs. Imagine the horror of spending your day learning to dance for cash.
Time for another look at the Strictly credits: this year’s annoyances include: Susannah’s insane pointing, Kevin & Stacey busting some cheesy moves and Joe and Dianne’s exploding fist bump.
So this year’s Strictly is already shaping up to be VERY interesting, because it’s the first year we’ve had a Youtuber involved. Joe’s Jive from last week has had nearly 1.5 MILLION views on Youtube – the next closest is Stacey and Kevin, with just under 150k. So ten times more than any other dance last week, and more than all last year’s final dances combined.
If Joe can harness his enormous influencer power (and that of his sister Zoella) to encourage even a fraction of his followers to vote at the appropriate time, this year’s Strictly will be won on maths alone. My day job is in marketing so I find it all rather fascinating, but historically the BBC has never released the voting figures even when the series is over, so we may never know what difference it made.
This year’s Strictly Come Bingo – a sip of something bubbly for every occurrence of the following:
- Comedy VTs featuring clunky acting and budget special effects
- Garden furniture, e.g. benches, gazebos, swings
- Dry ice
- Phone hands
- Kissing
Welcome!
Evening all, and welcome back for this week’s Strictly Come Dancing liveblog! We’ve made it all the way to Week 2, and the first weekend where we’ll send a couple home. Without a single step being danced, my money is already on Susannah and Anton – she’s subject to the unholy trinity of a) limited dance talent b) limited national treasure status and c) a partner who has already decided to play this year for LOLs. Unless they can pull something special out of Anton’s manbag this evening, I fear it may be a taxi for Susanton before anyone has actually said that portmanteau out loud.
I’ll be here from 6.30pm for another marathon show – we’ve shaved a bit off last week and it’s only 2 hours 5 minutes this week. Bring provisions, and feel free to get stuck into the comments – otherwise it’s just me mumbling into the glittery abyss. See you in a bit!
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