And that’s IT for the first Strictly live show! Thank you all for joining in, it’s lovely to be back in the liveblog hotseat. I’ll be back next Saturday for Week Two, or on the GBBO liveblog on Tuesday if you can’t wait that long. In the meantime you can find me on Twitter @heidistephens, so do come and say hello and share your prediction for this year’s glitterball winner. See you next Saturday! Hx
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So that was pretty good going for Week One, I thought. I have high hopes for this year, which is just as well as we’re slogging this out until Christmas whether we like it or not. A few surprises in there - particularly liked Dr Ranj and Janette, Joe and Dianne, Stacey and Kevin, Faye and Giovanni, plus several others I’ve already forgotten. Look, it’s been a long night and they’ve skipped the interminable recap. Clearly some issues this evening, but that’s live TV for you.
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THE DANCING IS OVER! My hands are like claws.
Faye/Giovanni and Pashley at the top of the leaderboard, Susannah and Anton at the bottom. No vote tonight, but the scores carry over to next week.
SCORES: 7,8,7,7 - a total of 28 for Faye and Giovanni, putting them joint top of the leaderboard.
Craig wants Faye to fix her hip action, but it was amazing. Darcey thought it was the perfect way to finish the night – it had incredible speed. Shirley liked how clean and musical it was, but it was a fraction stiff in places. Bruno thought it was clean, clear, polished and had plenty of surprises.
Faye has legs to die for, and Giovanni’s hips aren’t bad either. She’s all kinds of fabulous, with the confidence you’d expect from someone who’s used to the big stage. Lovely hip action, but not keen on the pop interlude. We asked for a Cha Cha Cha, just give us what we ordered. LOVED that, however.
I hope whoever is currently murdering Paloma Faith doesn’t ever actually sing that as a lullaby.
And FINALLY (oh thank god my back is ruined) It’s time for FAYE & GIOVANNI! They’re dancing the Cha Cha Cha to ‘Lullaby’ by Sigala featuring Paloma Faith.
I have a good feeling about this coupling – Faye is ace and Giovanni seems to bring out the best in his partners. Faye (like Kate Silverton) is also rocking it for the over 40s out there, so I would instantly love her even if I didn’t already worship at her feet for the STEPS back catalogue.
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SCORES: 6,7,7,7 - a total of 27 for Joe and Dianne.
Bruno thought Joe was the biggest surprise of the night, and Craig agrees – he didn’t have high hopes from the launch show, but that dance has changed everything. Darcey loved the attack, and incredible stamina. Shirley loved the swivel action and kicks, and Joe gave it some welly.
This Jive has a social media theme, and I already hate it. DRINK. Execept I can’t, because Joe is really quite good, and is trying really hard. It’s a bit frantic in places, but his leg action is really decent and this is not the worst first dance we’ve ever seen. He’s got a touch of Jay McGuinness about him. I actually really liked it. DAMN, didn’t expect that.
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Only two to go! Next up it’s JOE & DIANNE! Their first dance is the Jive to ‘Take On Me’ by A-Ha. I’ve discovered that Joe grew up down the road from where I live and went to my old school. He’s also a YouTube gazillionaire and has an even more famous sister, so I hope the school Careers Advisor got a very large bonus that year.
SCORES: 4,6,6,6 - a total of 22 for Lee and Nadiya.
Shirley felt the chemistry, and isn’t taking off a point for the trip because there was debris on the floor. Lee needs to listen to the music, because he’s a musician (LOL). Bruno liked how confidently Lee lead the dance, but Craig wasn’t keen the rise and fall – it was all through the knees and Lee needed to relax his face. Darcey found it a bit lustful, she likes a classic Waltz.
Personally I’m quite pro-lustful, but maybe that’s just me.
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Lee and Nadiya appear to be arm wrestling. Oh hang on, they’re holding hands. Love Nadiya’s green dress. This is fine as Waltzes go, Lee has got a touch of sticky-out bum and almost falls over at one point, but he recovers well and makes it to the end. Not a brilliant start, but shows promise.
It’s time for LEE & NADIYA! Their first dance is the Waltz to ‘Take It To The Limit’ by The Eagles. Whoever decided to put Lee Ryan on live TV every weekend clearly likes to live life on the edge, but I’m very much here for it. His Strictly benchmark is fellow Blue member Simon Webbe, who made the final in 2014. Absolutely no pressure, Lee.
SCORES: 6,6,6,6 - a total of 24 for Stacey and Kevin.
Darcey thought Stacey was a delight, with plenty of content but it got a bit messy in places. Shirley liked the footwork but she lost her line towards the end and Stacey needs a stronger core. Bruno loved the enthusiasm, but it translated into jelly arms. Craig thought it was a bit floppy but he enjoyed every moment. Me too, liked that a lot.
This takes a while to get going and is bit more wedding dancefloor than Quickstep, but a nice effort from Stacey with some decent footwork. Her top line is a shambles, however, but not bad for a hugely ambitious routine. Nice chemistry between these two, definitely ones to watch.
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Can they get a move on with these VTs? I really need the loo and we’ve got half an hour to go.
Next up it’s STACEY & KEVIN! Their first dance is the Quickstep to ‘Dancing’ by Kylie Minogue. Love that Gavin & Stacey (as they will henceforth be known) are banging out a Quickstep in Week One, nobody has ever done that before. Do not mess with these two.
SCORES: 5,6,6,5 - a total of 22 for Graeme and Oti.
Craig thought Graeme’s hands were like cricket bats, and his hips hadn’t been copied in. But great energy and Graeme definitely kept up. Darcey thought Graeme had exceptional rhythm, he was like a rough stone that Oti is going to polish. Shirley was impressed with the basics, and didn’t expect the personality. Bruno loved the forward hip thrust, and we get a repeat performance that I really didn’t need.
Giant cricket bat! DRINK! I hadn’t realised that Soul Limbo was the TV cricket music. Graeme has some interesting moves, but I’m not sure flossing is an approved Samba step.
Graeme has decent timing and is definitely not the worst cricketer we’ve ever seen in the hips department. A bit chaotic towards the end, and his Samba Sex Face is a not from me. But really not bad at all.
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Oh god, Graeme Swann is actual David Brent.
It’s time for GRAEME & OTI! Their first dance of the series is the Samba to ‘Soul Limbo’ by Booker T and The M.G.’s. I do not need another Week One Samba, but I think this is Graeme giving us a message that’s he’s here to win, and is afraid of nothing. He’s got Oti as a partner, which is a good start.
Will he be a Ramps or a Tuffers in the hips department? We’re about to find out, and I’m already a bit anxious.
Are we nearly there yet? Only five to go, please don’t leave me.
SCORES: 4,4,4,5 - a total of 17 for Katie and Gorka.
Bruno thought Katie was overthinking it, and needs to let Gorka guide her. Craig thought Katie’s balance was questionable and it went horribly wrong half way though, but she got back into the swing of it. Darcey thought Katie hit some nice lines in places, but she needs to get control of her nerves, and Shirley agrees that Katie showed great promise.
Well Gorka looks entirely dashing, and Katie looks absolutely stunning in that silver dress. This has plenty of charm but Katie’s footwork lacks confidence at the beginning. She trips over Gorka at one point, and is clearly a bag of nerves. A real shame, but huge potential for these two.
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Next up it’s KATIE & GORKA! Their first dance is the Waltz to ‘When We Were Young’ by Adele. All those rumours about Gorka and Gemma Atkinson last year turned out to be entirely true, by the way – their Instagram is 80% loved-up selfies these days. Meanwhile he and Katie have potential to be a great dance partnership, so I’m looking forward to seeing what they can do.
SCORES: 6,6,8,7 - a total of 27 for Dr Ranj and Janette.
Shirley wasn’t expecting it to be so fun and light, and his syncopated Cuban break looked like it belonged in the semi-final. Bruno thought it was neat, sharp and crisp – a very good prognosis for Dr Ranj. Craig thought it was very camp but he loved it. Darcey thought it was clean and fun and had great technique – Dr Ranj and Janette are going to go far.
Dr Ranj is dressed as a doctor (DRINK), but soon gets rid of the coat to reveal an alarming yellow shirt. He’s got bags of personality and some great footwork and timing – it all gets a bit over-enthusiastic in the middle but I have high hopes for these two. A delightful lack of disco, for a start.
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It’s time for DR RANJ & JANETTE! Their first dance is a Cha Cha Cha to ‘How Will I Know?’ by Whitney Houston. Dr Ranj may be a medical professional and know exactly what that strange lump is, but he’s less clear on whether you really love him. Don’t worry, Dr Ranj, I’ve already decided you’re a national treasure.
SCORES: 7,8,7,7 - a total of 29 for Pashley.
Darcey loved the graceful moves and fluidity, but Ashley lost her frame in rotation. Shirley loved the footwork, but Ashley needs to keep her centre up - a beautiful start. Bruno loved the flow and storytelling, but Craig thought it had too much rise and fall. The whole thing was GAWJUS, however.
Well this is lovely, as expected. When will ringers learn to be rubbish in the first few weeks, so the public gets a journey? The egos are too big and they never learn. Great footwork, lovely timing, gorgeous rise and fall, etc. etc. etc. DRINK.
Ashley has dance background, she tells us. DRINK.
It’s time for ASHLEY & PASHA! This week they’re dancing the Viennese Waltz to ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran featuring Beyoncé. I’m pretty sure Ed Sheeran wrote this song specifically for a) first wedding dances and b) Strictly. He’s not daft.
Anyway Pashley are a shoo-in for the final this year, because Ashley is an actual professional dancer, and not even in a vague ‘back in the old days’ kind of way. Even if she ends up in the bottom two the judges will keep her in, so I fully expect her to go the whole way but not win, because that’s how Strictly works.
SCORES: 6,6,6,7 - a total of 25 for Charles and Karen.
Craig thought Charles’ hips were a bit tight in places, but it was confident and he loved it. Darcey didn’t think it was the most typical Cha Cha, but it had great rhythm and attitude. Shirley thought it had swag and Charles is lovely to look at, but it was a disco routine with only 8 bars of Cha Cha Cha. Bruno thought it was red hot and smouldering, and had no problem with the disco. I’m with Shirley.
Charles is as smooth as a tube of crisps in this Cha Cha Cha, I’m worried Karen might slide straight off him. But he’s definitely got some hip action going on, and some nice footwork and timing. A bit too much disco thrust and grinding for my tastes, but Charles definitely has moves.
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Next up it’s CHARLES & KAREN! This week they’re dancing the Cha Cha Cha to ‘Ain’t No Love (Ain’t No Use)’ by Sub Sub featuring Melanie Williams. I issued Charles with a yellow card in the launch show when he referred to himself in the third person; the standard punishment for this is two weeks on the Strictly bench, at which point I might start liking him again, unless he does cheesy phone hands and gets a red card. I don’t make the rules, Charles*.
*I totally make the rules
Scores: 1,4,3,4 - total of 12 for Susannah and Anton. Generous.
Bruno thought it was a ‘car crash miranda, but it can only get better. Craig thought Susannah looked like she was staggering around drunk at a party. Darcey loves a bit of fun, but she’d like to see the dancer within Susannah and none of the props (DRINK). Shirley saw some basic elements, but Susannah needs to keep pushing forward.
DRINK. Just drink. It’s the only way.
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Susanna is dressed as an enormous satsuma (DRINK), capturing the essence of What Not To Wear. This is how it feels to be on the receiving end, hun.
Anton is in her dress, and the sleeves and frilly ankles. Everything about this is terrible, and I actually can’t watch. Please tell me when it’s over.
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OK, we’re moving on. Time for SUSANNAH & ANTON! Their first dance of the series is the Samba to ‘Tico Tico’ by Carmen Miranda. Nobody needs a Samba in Week One, and I still haven’t recovered from Anton’s pink flamenco sleeves in his mile high Samba with Ruth Langsford last year.
This is clearly going to be awful, but take solace from the absolute certainty that Susannah will be gone by next Sunday.
Tess is interviewing Susannah on the dancefloor and it’s all a bit weird. Feels like an awful lot of filler, is there some kind of technical issue?
SCORES: 3 (DRINK),5,4,6 - a total of 18 for Vick and Graziano. Bruno’s been at the cooking sherry again.
Shirley thinks they are a handsome couple, but it was discombobulated. Vick has potential, however. Bruno was digging the look, but the jive is hard (DRINK), and Vick gets extra points for keeping up with a ‘rampaging stallion’. Craig thought the kicks and flicks were heavy and laboured, and it felt like the dance was all about Graziano. Darcey loved the beginning, but Vick couldn’t keep up with the speed. Lots of promise, however.
Vick is wearing a lime green bikini and Graziano has his chest out. Start as you mean to go on, I say. Vick has bags of sass but her footwork needs more control and her timing is quite shaky. Not sure about the Graziano Bum Grab at the end either – how does he achieve that permanent wet look? I’m thinking vegetable oil. Or axle grease.
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Next up it’s VICK & GRAZIANO! Their first dance of the new series is the Jive to ‘Feel It Still’ by Portugal. The Man. It’s one of my fave songs of the past year, and this is the couple I’ve been most looking forward to seeing. Vick (Capital FM DJ, me neither) is all kinds of fabulous, Graziano is new and shiny, and they make an entirely smoking couple.
Incidentally Graziano reminds me of Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride. My name is Graziano Di Prima. You killed my Foxtrot. Prepare to Jive.
Four down, 11 to go. Stay with me, people.
Scores: 3 (DRINK),5,4,6 - a total of 18 for Seann and Katya. Oh Bruno, really?
Darcey thought it was a fierce performance, and Seann had good focus, but it was a bit grabby. Shirley is docking points for the illegal lift at the end, even though Katya insists it was ‘a chuck’. Shirley wanted something more classic, and Seann needs to tidy himself up a bit. Bruno thought Seann was the wild man of Tango - he liked the passion and attack, but it needed control. Craig thought it was completely over the top, Seann was manhandling Katya. I CONCUR.
This is less of a Tango and more the Seann comedy gurning show. It’s the Tango of a drunk man who’s put his contact lenses in the wrong eyes, had six pints and picked a fight with a relative at a wedding. Nice timing, but all a bit grabby and aggressive.
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Who’s next? It’s SEANN & KATYA! Their first dance is a Tango to ‘SexyBack’ by Justin Timberlake. I’m really hoping Seann isn’t going to ham this up, it’s not obligatory for the comedian to provide the LOLs. But we don’t have a politician this year, so somebody has to. I feel an Ed Balls Tango coming on.
Scores: 6,6,6,7 - a very solid 25 for Lauren and AJ.
Craig thought it was impressive, and Darcey thought it had a serene quality, but needed to be grander. Shirley thought it had beautiful chemistry - Lauren needs to work on her footwork but she’ll go far. Bruno loved it too - after winning gold medal a couple of weeks ago, Lauren is still on a winning streak.
Lauren looks glorious in pink sparkly chiffon, and this is all rather charming. Lovely footwork from Lauren, nice shaping in her upper body that’s testament to her rock solid core, and a lovely chemistry between these two. Pure romance, absolutely loved that.
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It’s time for LAUREN & AJ! Their first dance is the Waltz to ‘I’m Kissing You’ by Des’ree. As far as I know they’re not actually kissing, and it turns out AJ wasn’t kissing Mollie last year either. Very disappointing, I’m a sucker for a showmance. Lauren is a Paralympic triathlete so I fully expect some impressive stamina from her in future weeks, but this week they’re easing themselves in with the Waltz.
SCORES: 4,6,4,6 - a total of 20 for Kate and Aljaz.
Bruno had no idea Kate could be such a saucy minx - it wasn’t technically perfect and it needed more finish, but Kate has it within her (don’t go there, Heidi). Craig thought there was an awful lot of stomping around, and it lacked hip action, but Kate’s personality shone through. Darcey thought Kate was oozing that flirty attitude, but the Cha Cha is difficult (DRINK). Shirley wanted more rotation and more consistency, but Kate has so much promise.
Kate and Aljaz’s Cha Cha Cha has a newsroom theme (DRINK) – Kate is being seduced by a cameraman, which I’m pretty sure BBC HR wouldn’t be that cool with. She has definite sass, but it’s a bit stompy and needs more hips. You can’t wear that dress and not give it both barrels – it needs more drunken abandon. But there’s definitely potential there, and I love them both.
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Next up it’s KATE AND ALJAZ! Their first dance is the Cha Cha Cha to ‘Kiss’ by Tom Jones. Kate is this year’s obligatory newsreader, and apparently she’s an entirely different person from Natasha Kaplinsky, which is breaking news in my household. She instantly gets my ‘40-something in a tiny frock absolutely minxing it up with Aljaz’ vote. I dream of this daily.
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SCORES: 6,7,7,7 - a total of 27 for Danny and Amy.
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So what did the judges think? Shirley (who’s looking fabulous and appears to have got considerably younger over the summer) thought it was outstanding and in in lurrrve. Bruno thought it had pizzazz and showmanship - Danny made the stage his own. Craig thought it could have been smoother and was a bit spiky - it was more of an American Smooth. Darcey thought it was neat, clean and focussed, and she was not expecting that. Just you then, Darcey - the rest of us were ALL expecting that.
Danny has some serious moves, possibly because he’s a giant ringer with a tonne of dance experience. This music is a bit clunky for a Foxtrot, but Danny’s footwork is very decent. His top line needs some work but hey, it’s week one. Not bad at all.
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First up on the dancefloor tonight is DANNY AND AMY! Their first dance is the Foxtrot to the ‘Top Cat Theme’ by Hoyt Curtin, which sounds like a drunk stumbling around John Lewis. I assume the song choice relates to Danny’s role as The Cat in Red Dwarf back in the day (DRINK). If you didn’t know that, you’d just think it was a really bonkers song choice for a Foxtrot. Actually even knowing the connection doesn’t make it any less mad. This is going to be a full on Jazz Hands opener, isn’t it?
Time for the stars – am tracking those body language cues that tells us they already hate each other. Susannah and Anton already have gritted teeth – what IS she wearing?
Out come the judges! Love Darcey and Shirley in maroon and green, they look like Christmas.
TESS AND CLAUDIA DRESS WATCH: Tess in sensible black trousers and a one-shouldered hanky top, Claudia back in sparkly black. 8/10 for Week One fabulousness.
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And here we are in the studio, doing some proper floaty ballroom in chiffony frocks. More of this please.
Electric blue clashes horribly with Dianne’s hair, mind. She looks like a Fraggle.
Lovely street dance to Elton’s ‘Your Song’. As is dancing in a street, rather than actual street dance. Those cobbles must play havoc with high heels, someone’s going to turn an ankle.
And we’re off! Time for a slo-mo recap of the launch show, alongside celebrity soundbites recorded in a bottom of a well. They’re all nervous.
Yay theme music! And our first glimpse of the titles. Who will do a thing that annoys me every week? Ah there it is - Joe and Dianne’s fist bump.
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SIX MINUTE WARNING, everyone.
It’s time for the very first Strictly Come Bingo of the year – take a swig of that rancid wine your annoying neighbour brought to a barbecue in July for every occurrence of the following:
- Oblique references to the celebrity’s career in the song choices
- Craig scoring a 3
- Mumbled mentions of previous dance experience
- Early sightings of oversize props
- Any dance being very difficult (for a man)
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It’s a Strictly Celebrity Pointless special! I’m not really watching, but it’s definitely on.
Strictly's BACK!
Evening all, and welcome back to another year of the Strictly Come Dancing liveblog! Apologies for missing the launch show, as usual I was squeezing in a quick holiday before I refuse all weekend invitations until Christmas in favour of sofa-based, glitter-fuelled liveblog action.
So tonight we get to watch all 15 couples dance for the very first time, but with no public voting and nobody going home. That all kicks off next week, when I’ll be liveblogging both the Saturday and Sunday show as usual. Tonight’s scoring from the judges does carry over to next week, however, so it’s definitely worth our newbies pulling out all the stops and showing the nation what they can do.
The liveblog rules are pretty straightforward: I keep up a running commentary on the Strictly glamour, glitz and glitter up here, and you sprinkle some wit and wisdom in the comment box down below. If you’re a newbie or former lurker, you are most welcome – please feel free to get stuck in. If you’re an old hand at this lark, welcome back. If you’re an angry individual with strong opinions about a family TV show you don’t watch, feel free to move along. I’ve been liveblogging Strictly here for nine years, I’m afraid that ship has well and truly sailed.
All the action kicks off at 6.15pm, so grab a plateful of snacks and a bucket of booze. It’s a TWO HOUR AND 20 MINUTES non stop adventure this evening – in that time you could also fly to Majorca, but then you’d miss Strictly and inexplicably find yourself in Majorca.
See you at 6.15!
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