So that’s it for the launch show! Some interesting pairings there, have a good feeling about this series. Thank you all for joining in - it’s time for a three week break now while the celebs learn to dance, the pros realise what they’ve let themselves in for, and I go on holiday. Come and say hello on Twitter/Instagram @heidistephens if you’re passing, otherwise I’ll see you on Saturday 24th for the first live show! Cheers Hx
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And we’re off! Danny is mostly posing, Ore is giving it both barrels, Ed looks like the uncle nobody likes at a wedding. Greg and Anastacia are giving it plenty of attitude. Tameka looks amazing, and Daisy, Naga and Will look promising too. Definitely some rhythm on show out there, which is a good thing.
Right, nearly time for the group dance, which is the first opportunity to see who has some moves, and who appears to have put their legs on backwards. I can’t WAIT.
So Will is paired with…Karen! Now, this is interesting. Because despite his dodgy Pop Idol audition and only managing one term at Ringer College, I suspect Will might have some secret moves. And Karen may be just the woman to bring them out, provided he ditches that dreadful suit at some point and embraces the fake tan and sparkly spandex.
Ed Balls is spectacularly awkward, I’m already clenching. He’s paired with…Katya! Katya is Russian, and married to one of this year’s other pros, Neil. Ed is Ed Balls, of “Ed Balls” fame. They’ll be gone by Week 2, so let’s not dwell on this pairing for too long.
Ore is paired with…Joanne! Oh. I wanted him to be paired with somebody less annoying. I thought Balls would get Joanne, and I suspect Ore wanted Karen. Pah.
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Love that Will has confessed up to this WHOLE TERM term at musical theatre college. Can you be a ringer on one term?
In the interests of full disclosure, I discovered Ore Oduba on the BBC4 Olympic coverage this summer, and I have QUITE the crush.
Ed Balls, less so.
I particularly like the lyric “it leaves you blind, with no vision”. As opposed to all the other kinds of blind.
I love how everyone has to squat slightly to talk to Claudia. She’s brilliantly tiny.
Ooh time for Olly Murs! I don’t care what any of you think, this song is a solid gold summer banger. TURN IT UP AND DANCE.
So Tameka is paired with…Gorka! I’ve never heard of either of them, so this feels like a highly satisfactory pairing. Tameka seems all kind of fabulous, however.
Lesley is paired with…Anton! Well, it was always going to happen, and well done Lesley for pretending to be thrilled. Still, I have high hopes that she may be able to teach Anton a thing or two about dancing. Oops, did I say that out loud?
Daisy is paired with…Aljaz! Of course she is. This is a match made in Disney princess heaven, I love it.
Aljaz looks delighted, and Anton moves one step further towards the inevitable.
Claudia’s up first, and she’s paired with…AJ, who I’m guessing is the shortest available pro.
Well don’t they look adorable together. I already lovely Clayjay.
I’d like to put it out there right now that I adore Lesley Joseph and I want her to win. She’s the same age as my mum, and entirely fabulous. Go Lesley.
We’ve only paired up half the celebs so far, we’ve still got four women to go. Time to pair up Claudia, Tameka, Lesley and Daisy. Aljaz for Daisy, surely? Claudia is 4’7, so I’m guessing one of the tiny newbies.
Ed is worried he might look a right idiot. Oh Ed, it’s all you have, don’t fight it.
Time for another comedy VT, as Tess and Clauds drive a school bus full of pros to meet the new celebs. The celebs are revealed, and the pros gamely pretend to know who everyone is.
Well that was a bit dodgy, pretend it never happened.
Oh god Tess, put Aliona down.
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Ooh, Jay and Aliona are back! I love Jay, he was so sweet and kind to my daughter when I took her to Strictly last year.
Aliona isn’t back on Strictly this year, so great to see their incredible Pulp Fiction Jive once last time. It’s a dance of Strictly legend, although Jay looks like he might not have done much practise since the tour finished.
And finally for this section, it’s Danny from Hollyaks! He’s paired with…Oti! This could be a great partnership, I love Oti’s dancing and Danny doesn’t seem to have any buttons on his shirt. What’s not to love?
Goodness, Oti can scream. My EARS.
Judge Rinder is paired with…Oksana! She is Ukrainian, and a new blonde bombshell to replace Kristina/Ola/Aliona. I don’t think they’ll be troubling the tabloids any time soon, but he and Craig are going to be attempting to out-panto villain each other every week, which could get tedious really quickly.
I love Greg, he’s incredibly handsome and seems like a really nice guy. He’s paired with…Natalie! Hooray, this is my dream pairing, Christmas has come early.
Melvin and his horrible shirt are paired with…Janette! Apparently Melvin does stuff on the radio, so let’s assume he can bust some moves. Either that or he’s this year’s Scott Mills.
Time to pair up Melvin, Greg, Judge Rinder and Danny Mac!
Time for a group dance! We get a little introduction to all the dancers, including the ones who have been there since before dinosaurs did the foxtrot. Oksana has excellent hairography, Neil looks weirdly like Greg Rutherford, AJ is about 12, and Gorka is the new Gleb. Who is Gleb again? I’m so over Gleb already.
There was also Chloe and Katya, who were moving too fast for me to pay attention. We’ll get to them later.
Am conscious that’s the only decent Samba we’ll see between now and Christmas. Make the most it, people.
We need to talk about Tameka’s dress. Mostly so we don’t have to look at Tameka’s dress, which looks like Kermit in a blender.
Also, #rescuewill
There are two infants dancing while Rebecca sings. I’m assuming they’re some of the new dancers, but they look barely out of the womb.
Time for a musical interlude! Rebecca Ferguson is singing her new single. I think she won The X Factor, which I never watch because I’m too busy messing around with Strictly. For info, it’s a really boring song.
And finally for this batch, it’s Laura. I feel like she’s probably quite famous, but I’ve genuinely never heard of her. She seems nice, mind.
Laura is paired with…Giovanni! He’s last year’s winning pro, but sadly no longer dating the lovely Georgia. No idea what Laura’s dating status is, but Giovanni looks like all his Italian Christmases have come at once.
Anastacia looks delighted, and has the decency not to ask “which one’s Brendan?”
I’m not sure that “Blingastacia” is ever going to take off, but I admire their efforts nonetheless.
Anastacia is paired with…Brendan! I love this pairing, they’re two actual grown-ups who could be really good (hahahahahahaha not really).
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Naga is paired with…Pasha! They both look very pleased about this. Well you would, wouldn’t you? Naga is gorgeous, and Pasha is...Pasha.
Blimey, I’d forgotten what a meal they make of this. We’ve got 15 to get through, can we move things along?
Louise is paired with…Kevin! Well that’s a potentially winning combination if ever there was one. No idea if Louise can dance, mind – all Eternal ever did was strut and point.
Kevin is pumping his fist like a man who possibly had a poster of Louise on his wall as a teenager.
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Time to pair up some celebs! We’re kicking off with Louise, Anastacia, Naga and Laura.
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I like that Melvin has already kicked things off with a vomit-inducing shirt. Where do you go from there?
Out come the contestants! Eternal woman! Olympic telly guy! Dorian! Rinder! Gymnast! Radio guy! Model Daisy! Will! Breakfast Naga! Long jumper! Eastender! Balls! TV woman! Hollyoak! I’m Outta Love woman!
Gosh, there’s a lot of them, but am happy to say that Balls is already looking deeply uncomfortable.
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Plan for tonight, some pairing, a couple of singing performances, buckets of filler. Craig’s new hip is bearing up, and he’s spinning nicely. It’s Len’s last series! Any bets on who will replace him?
Tess and Claudia dress watch! Tess in a one-sleeved Halloween shroud, Claudia in a hot pink sleeveless number that looks all kind of fabulous.
And we’re in the studio, dancing to a slightly lacklustre version of Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop The Feeling”. Ah, it’s like we’ve never been away.
So many glitter cannons for so early in the series. I fear they’ve shot their glitter load too soon.
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Joyous lack of space theming the red carpet, and some actual proper dancing. I approve.
Time for some red carpet footage. Everyone looks like they’re having a great time, and are rocking neon lycra and fringing. Apart from Will Young, who has turned up dressed as a Barry from Accounts.
Oh thank goodness, there’s some dancing. Of sorts, anyway. I’m not nearly drunk enough for this nonsense. Will this dystopian hell ever end?
I have no idea what is happening right now. Would it help if I’d ever seen Star Wars?
Gather your skirts everyone, we’re off! Embrace the opening comedy VT, it’s the first of many “what the hell?” moments we’ll be enduring over the coming months.
While we’re waiting for Pointless to finish, let’s all enjoy this vintage video of Will Young’s first audition on Pop Idol, way back in 2002. If these are his best moves, I don’t think he’ll be troubling the glitterball any time soon.
There are also some changes to the Strictly pro dancers this year – Gleb has gone (sob!), along with Tristan, Aliona, Kristina and Ola. They’ve been replaced by a load of new dancers whose names I can’t remember, but I’m sure we’ll get to meet them soon enough. No Gleb though. Let’s have a minute’s silence for Gleb.
Have just been informed on Twitter that Helen George did not make the final last year. I’m rubbish at Strictly.
So, a rundown on this year’s celebs. As usual I’ve played the “how many can you name?” game and scored a very solid 8 out of 15 this year - Greg Rutherford, Ed Balls, Will Young, Louise Redknapp, Anastacia, Judge Rinder, Ore Oduba and Lesley Joseph. Last year I only managed five.
A couple more I recognised but couldn’t name without clues – Naga off BBC Breakfast and model Daisy thingy, but the remaining five are a mystery – Claudia Fragapane, Danny Mac, Laura Whitmore, Melvin Odoom and Tameka Empson. It would probably help if I watched soaps, or more telly in general.
So, any thoughts on this year’s lineup, and any early bets for the win? I backed Helen George in the launch show last year, and she at least made the final. This year I’m putting my imaginary money on Claudia Fragapane, because gymnasts have excellent stamina and don’t mind being thrown about.
Evening all, and welcome to the Strictly come Dancing 2016 launch night liveblog! I can’t believe September has rolled around again already, but my 2016 Gleb calendar is quite insistent on the matter.
So tonight is all about pairing up our shiny new batch of celebrities with their professional partners - gird your loins for red carpet shenanigans, cringe-inducing VTs, random guests and dubious group dancing, alongside vast quantities of lurid polyester and more filler than a TOWIE beauty salon.
I’ll be up here from 6.50pm to bring a touch of Cha Cha Cha to proceedings; in the meantime your job is add a little hip action down below in the comment box. Grab snacks and sparkly drinks, pop on some chiffon, and I’ll see you in a bit!
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