So that’s another Strictly week done and dusted – I’ll be back here at 6.30pm next Saturday for another week of dad dancing and fancy footwork, so please join me then. In the meantime you can find me on Twitter @heidistephens, it would be lovely if you came and said hello. Thank you as always for joining in, you are the Fred to my Ginger, the Nureyev to my Fonteyn, and the Bruno to my Darcey. Have a lovely week! Hx
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Tonight’s final dance is “Ghost Town” by The Specials. Too much fighting on the dance floor.
So who will the judges save? Craig saves Jamelia and Kristen, as does Darcey. Bruno does likewise, so Kirsty and Brendan are heading home. Kirsty looks gutted, Brendan looks like Christmas has come early.
“You’ve been in this position before”, says Tess to Jamelia. “does it help with the nerves?” Such a missed opportunity to poke Tess in the eye.
Kirsty’s Charleston has considerably less mistakes, but is still awful. Jamelia’s jive is considerably better, but still a hot mess. Jamelia and Tristan should stay, but there’s not much in it.
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On the upside, we never have to watch Carol and Pasha’s Rumba again. So that’s something.
So Kirsty and Brendan should go tonight, based on last night’s points. BUT, they really messed up last night, so if they can get that sorted the judges may save them.
So who else is in the dance-off? Jay and Aliona are safely through, along with Katie and Anton, Peter and Janette, Kellie and Kevin and…Carol and Pasha. The weight of the inevitability is crushing my lower limbs.
Which means Kirsty and Brendan in the bottom two! Again, as predicted. Do I win a prize?
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Time for a musical interlude from the UK’s favourite James Blunt/Chris Martin tribute act, James Morrison. It’s quite dreary, but thankfully we get to watch a barefoot Gleb hurling Kristina around. Who let her loose on the crimpers?
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“I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the public don’t like me”, says Jamelia. No no noooo, says Tess, despite it being Jamelia’s third time in the dance-off.
So who is safely through to next week, and who is the first couple in the dance-off? Jeremy and Karen are through (standard), along with Georgia and Giovanni, Anita and Gleb and Helen and Aljaz.
First couple in the dance-off: Jamelia and Tristan! Just as predicted. Sigh.
Last night on Strictly: a Halloween special that traded in quality dancing for makeup, costumes and props. It happens every year, I’ve learned to embrace the madness.
Good efforts from Jay and Aliona, Helen and Aljaz and Anita and Gleb, the rest was a pumpkin full of meh.
Tess and Claudia Dress Watch: Tess in black with bra straps and a boob letterbox, Claudia in ill-fitting stripes and a sparkly merkin. 4/10.
And we’re off! Tonight’s opening pro-dance has a chess theme. Not he musical, the board game. Pasha and Joanne (or maybe Ola?) are king and queen, and the other pros make up the pieces in quite terrifying costumes. That was brilliant, my favourite pro dance in ages.
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Trying to watch Ella coming down that mountain on Countryfile but I appear to have something in my eye. Go Ella, you are bloody marvellous.
Today’s Countryfile Casual Weatherman update: the lovely Jay Wynne in autumnal purple. No sleeves rolled up, though; clearly Jay wishes to distance himself from the Rodeo Weathermen. I like the cut of his jib.
I love John Craven. He’s 75, yet seems to have been an elderly, avuncular uncle since about 1980.
This week’s Countryfile appears to be dedicated to rambling. If there isn’t a pub every three miles, I’m not interested.
Am currently considering how much money I’d be willing to donate to Children In Need if it meant I didn’t have to wear a Pudsey beanie hat. Quite a lot, I think.
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SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all, and welcome back for tonight’s Strictly Halloween Results Show! Now we’ve all binned the on-the-turn pumpkins and eaten the sweets even the local kids didn’t want (Black Jack, anyone?), tonight’s Halloween theme is going to feel a bit like the drunk party guest who won’t leave. But on the upside, it will mean Strictly themes weeks are officially over for another year, unless you count Blackpool, which I don’t.
Last night I predicted Kirsty and Brendan and Jamelia and Tristan in tonight’s dance off, and I’m sticking with that. Of course it should be Carol and Pasha, but I reckon they’ve got another week or two of being rubbish before the annual backlash kicks in. It goes this way every year, along with the inevitable “he/she’s had dance training” squawking. Honestly, I don’t care. It’s great telly, everyone’s having a good time, and it doesn’t matter. And if Strictly only ever took celebs who’d never danced a step in their lives, they’d ALL be like Carol. Can you imagine?
I’ll see you at 7.15 for Strictly, might watch a bit of Countryfile in the meantime. I’ve been walking around the National Arboretum at Westonbirt all afternoon, so I’m feeling at one with nature.
So that’s it for tonight’s Halloween special – I’ll be back tomorrow for the Results Show as usual, so join me here then. If you arrive early there may be some bonus Countryfile action, but I’m making no promises. In the meantime please head over to the X Factor liveblog, hosted by the rather splendid Stuart Heritage.
Thank you to everyone who joined in with the Halloween insanity, as well as all the lurkers, trolls and poltergeists. Have a happy Halloween, keep your spoilers to yourselves (please), and I’ll see you tomorrow! Hx
So Georgia and Giovanni at the top of the leaderboard, and Carol and Pasha at the bottom. Not that this will make any difference, my money’s on Kirsty and Brendan and Jamelia and Tristan in the dance-off this week, at which point Kirsty and Brendan will improve magnificently and Jamelia and Tristan will go.
Or of course this could be me just wanging on. It has been known.
Scores: 8,9,8,9 - a total of 34 for Helen and Aljaz.
A notable absence of shrieking from both Helen and Kellie tonight, I like to think they’ve taken our telling-off on board.
Craig loved the opening sequence and Helen nearly got there with the bounce action, but the routine was spectacular. Darcey thought it was a new Helen, very impressive. Len thought Helen delivered again, and even though there was a terrible moment Helen is a yummy mummy. Bruno sings some ABBA and shouts a bit. Plus ca change.
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Helen and Aljaz are mummies, and kick off a jerky Samba. Thankfully it turns into something a good deal more Samba-like, with some great footwork from Helen and some cracking Samba rolls. Her hips still need work and her legs are still too ballet-stiff, but that was good fun.
And finally, it’s Helen and Aljaz! Tonight they’re dancing the Samba to ‘Take Your Mama’ by Scissor Sisters. I love this song, but can Helen deliver a sexy Samba? Or should we just watch Aljaz? Probably a safer bet.
Scores: 7,7,7,7 - a total of 28 for Peter and Janette.
Bruno thought Peter was in his safety zone, and he lost the floating quality that the dance needed. Craig thought his shoulders were coming up and it needed to be a bit smoother, but a very good job. Darcey thought he made the dancefloor come alive but his shoulders come up in the transitions. Len loved the footwork, but his right hand is too high and that’s making his shoulder come up. Good tip, Len.
Can I just say something? says Peter. No, Peter.
Janette’s eyebrows need some work, but a heavily talc-ed ghostly Peter Andre is her to help. Peter’s footwork is nice, but his head keeps dropping so his top line looks hunchy. Not his worst dance by a long shot though.
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Only two left! Next up it’s Peter and Janette! Tonight they’re dancing the Foxtrot to ‘Ghost’ by Ella Henderson. Last week’s dark room Rumba was all a bit lacking – I feel like Peter has lost his confidence and isn’t quite living up to his week one promise. Will his foxtrot be freaky or fabulous?
Scores: 8,9,9,9 - a total of 35 for Georgia, who is making a noise like a mouse in a tumble dryer.
Len dubs Georgia the Queen of Halloween – great content, and a fabulous dance. Bruno thought the footwork was great and the pace never slackened, Craig thought it was sharp, feisty and incandescent. Darcey agrees – beautiful work from Georgia and Giovanni. Stop squeaking, Georgia.
Georgia and Giovanna are dressed as Ghostbusters, albeit I’d argue that Georgia’s dress is deeply impractical for ghostbusting. This is a cracking tango – great pace, nice footwork, plenty of drama and a nice top line from Georgia. Rubbish ending, but rather enjoyed that.
Who’s next? It’s Georgia and Giovanni! Tonight they’re dancing the Tango to ‘Ghostbusters’ by Ray Parker Junior. If there’s something weird, and it don’t look good, it’s probably Giovanni’s eyeliner.
Scores: 2,4,4,3 - a total of 13 for Carol and Pasha. People are still going to vote for them, aren’t they? Can we not put Carol out of her misery?
Darcey thought it lacked any kind of finesse or fluidity. Len loved Carol’s sunny disposition, but she was walking on her heels and the footwork was the final nail in the coffin. Bruno thought Carol’s Rumba was grounds for divorce. Craig thought it was like watching a barn dance – not sexy or seductive.
Nobody knows what to say. That’s how bad that Rumba was.
Carol is bride of Frankenstein, making a green Pasha with Elvis hair. This is the weirdest Rumba I’ve ever seen – Carol shimmying in little circles around Pasha with a big grin on her face. I’ve got flesh-coloured tights more seductive than this. Awful. AWFUL.
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In the VT, Carol is acting really strange. Both of their acting is the absolute worst. Stop it.
Next up it’s Carol and Pasha! This week they’re dancing a Rumba to ‘I Think I Love You’ by The Partridge Family. Even the thought of this makes me tremble with fear, but let’s go with it. Keep a cushion nearby, however.
Scores: 7,7,7,7 - a total of 28 for Kellie and Kevin. The scar on Kevin’s head is supposed to look like lightning, but instead looks like he’s mashed a worm into his forehead.
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Craig thought the concept worked, but it was a bit of a drunken romp and needed more of a Spanish line. Darcey thought it was fuelled with energy, but it needed more Spanish style in the arms and Kellie needs to relax her top line. Len thought it took off like a Nimbus 2000, but the table restricted what they could do. Bruno thought they were like two banshees - fantastic energy, but it lost the finesse of the dance.
Kevin as Harry Potter is quite unsettling, excellent wand-work all round. Quite hard to deliver a commanding Paso whilst dressed as a boy wizard, however. Lots of skirt-wafting, climbing on furniture and dramatic Paso-face from Kellie, but she loses her top line and it all looks a bit untidy. Bit of mess, if you ask me.
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Next up it’s Kellie and Kevin! This week they’re dancing the Paso to the Glee Cast version of ‘Schools Out’, mashed up with Hedwig’s Theme by John Williams. I’m sorry, but no - you can do what you like with Glee, but do not mess with Harry Potter.
Scores: 8,9,8,9 - a total of 34 for Jay and Aliona.
Bruno loved Jay’s elegance and lines, and Craig agrees - Lovely feet and control too. Darcey thought it was smooth and stylish, with great control, but there could have had more character. Len thought he got his heels and toes in a pickle, but a lovely routine.
Jay is dressed as Brad Pitt dressed as a wolf dressed as a grandma. Aliona is Slutty Red Riding Hood.
Nice rise and fall from Jay, and a couple of lovely lifts. Good spinning, all very masterfully done. Could be a bit more menacing, but enjoyed that a LOT.
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Next up it’s Jay and Aliona! This week they’re dancing the American Smooth to ‘Lil Red Riding Hood’ by Sam the Sham and The Pharaohs. Jay’s Paso last week was fabulous, although the judges weren’t that fussed. Can he pull off a spooky Smooth?
Oh apparently Craig is supposed to be Lurch. That makes a LOT more sense.
Scores: 6,6,7,7 - a total of 26 for Jamelia and Tristan.
Len thought it was a bit rocky, but it wasn’t a horror. It needed more rehearsal to be sharper. Bruno loved the energy and sense of fun, but Jamelia needs to sort out of footwork. Craig loved the energy, but it was flat-footed. Darcey thought she got tired and the technique needs work, but enjoyable.
I loathe Rocky Horror, by the way. This is fast and furious jive and Jamelia’s timing is great, but once again she’s got Tina Turner’s legs and it’s all a bit out of control. Her kicks and flicks need to be lot sharper too. A bit messy.
It’s time for Jamelia and Tristan! Tonight they’re dancing the Jive to ‘The Time Warp’ from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Jamelia is much happier with this kind of dance; her Charleston a couple of weeks ago was great. Just don’t do the Rocky Horror dance, Jamelia – it’s a Jive, remember?
Scores: 6,8,8,7 - a total of 29 for Anita and Gleb.
Tess does another joke. Tumbleweed.
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Darcey loved the drama, but some of her movements were spiky. Len didn’t know what was going on and didn’t understand the story, but the waltz was fabulous. Bruno thought it was bewitching, but the flow was a bit jagged in places. Craig thought it lacked grace and flow, but he liked the storytelling.
I think Craig is supposed to be Gomez Addams, but he just looks really tired.
Anita’s Maleficent outfit is spectacular, hopefully Gleb won’t get tangled in her horns. Gleb as an angry king isn’t bad either, although his hair could do with a wash.
It’s an unusual waltz with lots of passion and drama, not helped massively by the music but definitely different. Not quite sure what to make of that.
It’s time for Anita and Gleb! Tonight they’re dancing the Waltz to ‘Once Upon A Dream’ by Lana Del Rey. I loved their Temper Trap Sci-Fi Tango last week, hoping for a wicked waltz this evening.
I want Karen’s outfit so badly, it’s amazing.
Scores: 4,6,6,6 - an inexplicable 22 for Jeremy and Karen.
Craig thought the problems began when Jeremy started dancing, but somehow the zombie outfit helped. Darcey loved the characterisation and Jeremy’s timing has improved, but he needs to soften his knees. Len thought it wasn’t super and it wasn’t natural, but it had an awkward charm. Bruno thought it was monstrous fun, even though the Salsa was dead and buried.
Can someone qualify as undead if rigor mortis has already set in? Jeremy’s feet and the music have never met, but the Thriller section isn’t bad. Alas that bit doesn’t have any Salsa in it. Dreadful, but almost so bad it was quite good. ALMOST.
In training, Jeremy is turning into a zombie. Oh just kill me now.
It’s time for Jeremy and Karen! This week they’re dancing the Salsa to ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson. I think it’s reasonable to assume that this will be a Salsa in name only, and anything but a thriller.
Scores: 3,5,5,4 - a total of 17 for Kirsty and Brendan.
Bruno thought it was a mess, but she more or less saved it. Also looked like Kirsty was dancing the Charleston in flippers. Craig thought it was flat-footed and the kicks were out of time, and they messed up the lift. I can’t hear what Darcey’s saying, I’m to busy looking at the wig. That must be SO itchy. Len thought they coped well with the mistakes. As backhanded compliments go, that’s a corker.
Kirsty is dressed in bandages and cobwebs, jigging about while Brendan flies in. Once again Kirsty’s transitions are rubbish, but I think the slapstick theme is supposed to cover up the mistakes, of which there are many. What a shambles.
It’s time for Kirsty and Brendan! This week they’re dancing the Charleston to ‘Bad Romance’ by Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox. I listened to this earlier, and it seems to be jazz take on Lady Gaga.
When even the audience doesn’t bother to laugh at Tess’s jokes, you know you’re in trouble.
Scores: 4,6,6,5 - a total of 21 for Katie and Anton. This year’s Halloween score paddles - chubby ghosts.
Len thought Katie’s Paso wasn’t aggressive and spiky enough, it didn’t suit her personality. Bruno thought her feet were insecure, and it was all a bit wafty. Craig thought it was stiff and awkward, and not great. Darcey comments on Katie’s appearance and tells her to use her eyes more. Okaaay.
Katie emerges from her gondola, and there’s some nice shaping and flashing of knickers. Most of the nice shaping is from Katie, in fairness, Anton’s Paso is dreadful. Not much aggression, but a good effort from Katie there. That’s all I’ve got right now.
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It’s time for Katie and Anton! This week they’re dancing the Paso to ‘Phantom Of The Opera’ by Steve Harley and Sarah Brightman. However petrifying this Paso is, it will never be as bad as Anton’s prison-themed Paso with Judy Murray last year *shudders*.
Rubbish Halloween VT featuring Anton’s previous partners. The ghost of Anne Widdecombe is quite disturbing.
Out come the celebs! Carol’s dusty beehive is quite special.
Tess and Claudia dress watch! Tess in one-shouldered sparkle with a horrible lace cut-out on the hip, Claudia as a black cat. 5/10 for the tail. What’s going on with Tess’s eyebrows? It looks like lichen.
The judges are all dressed as the Addams Family. Poor Bruno got Puggsley.
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The opening pro dance features Brendan and Natalie as zombie bride and groom. I’ve been to FAR rougher weddings than this.
Jeremy, Peter and Jay are doing some terrible acting, and trying to scare the girls by pretending to be ghosts. It’s the complete opposite of scary.
Previously on Strictly: SO much dancing. How are there still so many of them left? The top of the leaderboard got quite busy, but it was Ainsley and Jamelia who ended up in the dance-off. Ainsley and Natalie headed home, and I was a bit sad about this. So far we only seem to be killing off the male celebs, there are only three of them left.
Have we all learned the Strictly? Anyone? Hello? Nope, me neither.
I’m all alone this evening – the daughter is at a Halloween party, and my beloved is in charge of answering the door to village trick-or-treaters while I’m chained to the sofa. He’s wearing full zombie makeup and wielding an axe.
This week’s Strictly Come Halloween Bingo – a slug of crème de menthe for any occurrence of the following:
• Slutty witch outfits
• Jeremy in a coffin
• Miniscule devil horns
• Bruno referencing livestock genitalia
• Len describing a dance as having “plenty of tricks and plenty of treats”
Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Strictly Come Dancing liveblog spooktacular! It’s the Halloween Special, which I’m finding myself less annoyed by than usual because it’s on actual Halloween. I’ve decided that themes are OK as long as they’re date-appropriate.
I think we can fully expect our celebrity couples to embrace the Halloween theme this evening; expect terror-filled Tangos, spooky Salsas, chilling Cha Chas and maybe the odd petrified Paso. I’ll be here from 6.35pm to add a little “woooo” to proceedings, please feel free to fill the misty graveyard down below with evil doings.
In the meantime here’s a Halloween joke to tide you over: Why did the vampire call the doctor?
Because he was coffin! COFFIN!
Hmm, tough crowd. See you at 6.35!
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