So that’s another week of Strictly in the bag – next week it’s the Halloween Special, so gird your loins for spooky noises, more-horrible-than-usual VTs and Craig looking very bored with the whole business. At least it’s on actual Halloween, so we only have to tolerate the daftness for one day.
Thank you all for joining in with your comment box brilliance, feel free to swing by Twitter @heidistephens and say hello. Otherwise I’ll see you back here at 6.35pm next Saturday. Have a great week! Hx
Bye bye Ainsley, you were hilarious and brilliant, and Natalie is all kinds of fabulous.
Their final dance is a bit of “You Can Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac. Ainsley is freestyling. I love him.
So who will the judges choose? Craig saves Jamelia and Tristan, as does Darcey. Bruno does likewise, so Jamelia and Tristan are safely through to next week and the March of the Strictly Ladies continues.
I still rather love Ainsley’s unique interpretation of the Jive. He has great Elvis legs and can dad-dance at my wedding any day.
Jamelia’s still doing the Foxtrot like she’s just clambered off a horse, but this considerably better than last night. Also Tristan is handsome.
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Next week: it’s the Halloween special! We may need to drink quite a lot between now and then.
So who else is in the dance off? Kellie and Kevin are safely through (shriek squeal shriek), along with Peter and Janette, Georgia and Giovanni, Kirsty and Brendan and Katie and Anton!
So Ainsley’s in the dance-off, as predicted. We are definitely getting better at this. I fear the lovely Ainsley may be heading home tonight, are there any men left?
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Time for Len’s Lens without Len, because he’s got a new knee and can’t walk up the stairs to the Clauditorium. You’d have thought they’d have popped in a Stannah stairlift, just for the comedy value.
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Bryan Adams interlude. He’s gone all bland and country and looks like Andy Bell from Erasure. Nothing to see here, apart from Pasha in a vest.
My daughter is currently reading this blog on her phone and laughing heartily. I was quietly pleased about this, until I discovered she’s actually reading your comments and not my blog. Keep it up.
So who’s safely through to Halloween week, and who’s in the bottom two? Helen an Aljaz are through (no squealing, excellent work), along with Carol and Pasha (SEE? TOLD YOU), Jay and Aliona, Jeremy and Karen (SEE? TOLD YOU #2) and Anita and Gleb.
First couple in the bottom two: Jamelia and Tristan!
As an aside, neither Tess nor Claudia are wearing poppies, unless they’re pinned to their knickers.
Tess and Claudia dress watch: Tess in royal blue in a quite unflattering length, Claudia dressed as a Victorian schoolmistress. All a bit strange. 4/10.
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And we’re off! Tonight’s pro dance is a saucy seaside postcard delivered through the medium of dance, with added beachballs and synchronised swimming. My daughter just asked “mum, what the hell is going on?” Speaking for a nation, as ever.
Even Tom the Conwy mussel fisherman is wearing a poppy. I need to know more about Tomasz Schafernaker the Rebel Weatherman.
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Countryfile Casual Weatherperson Update: man in a blue Ralph Lauren shirt, not wearing a poppy. Subversive.
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Tons of Welsh child beekeepers not wearing poppies. Ofcom should be alerted.
Is anyone else finishing this insight into livestock eyesight even more crashingly dull than uber-broccoli? I couldn’t give two hooves.
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Over on Countryfile, we’re discovering the world of super-broccoli. Apparently it has more nutrients than normal broccoli, and will give you superpowers, or something. All the lab scientists studying super-broccoli have been given poppies, because this is BBC Law. There are also cows, but they’re not wearing poppies. You’re welcome.
Things I would quite like to cease with immediate effect:
• Post-score screeching. Kellie and Helen, I’m looking at you. You sound like a couple of piglets caught in a combine harvester.
• Phone hands, or pointing to the number on the screen, which is just as bad as phone hands. We can read, we’re not idiots.
• Bruno. Arm-waving, tortured metaphors, pre-watershed swearing, being an utter helmet. Stop it.
SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all, and welcome back for tonight’s Strictly results show! Last night was a bit of a mixed bag, dance-wise – plenty of fun, a sprinkling of fabulous and a couple of epic fails.
I predicted Ainsley and Jamelia in the bottom two, and I’m sticking with that, I think – It should be Carol or Jeremy, but I reckon the fandom will keep them in another week or two. I wouldn’t be surprised if Katie picked up a truckload of pity votes for having to dance the Salsa with Anton, poor love. A tiny bit of me wants to see it again, if I’m honest.
All will be revealed at 7.15pm, see you then!
So that’s it for another show! Quite a lot of bingo drinking this evening, hope everyone is still standing.
I’ll be back here tomorrow at 7.15pm for the results show, and if you’re really lucky you’ll get a bit of hot Countryfile action thrown in for free. Thank you all for joining in and being brilliant and hilarious; feel free to fill the rest of your Saturday night with gay abandon, and I’ll see you tomorrow! Cheers Hx
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Final mention of Halloween, DRINK!
Kellie and Kevin and Helen and Aljaz are at the top of the leaderboard, Jeremy and Karen and Katie and Anton at the bottom. Some great dancing tonight – loved Anita and Gleb, Jay and Aliona and Kellie and Kevin.
My prediction for “tomorrow’s” dance-off – Ainsley and Natalie and Jamelia and Tristan, because the fandom will save Carol, Jeremy and Katie. Although Carol’s time might finally be up.
Scores: 8,9,9,9 - a total of 35 for Kellie and Kevin.
Darcey thought it delivered all the goods, really outstanding and an extraordinary Jive. Len wants the clocks to go back so he can see that again. Bruno loved it had ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK and victory. Craig bitches about something minor, but otherwise it was brilliant.
Come on, let’s have a big finish to tonight’s show. Can they do a Jive that’s as good as Jay and Aliona’s?
Not sure what’s going on with the Inspector Gadget-meets-Chicago theming, but I’m loving this Jive. Kellie is entirely fierce, with great footwork, loads of energy, fabulous kicks and flicks and loads of attitude. Loved it.
And FINALLY it’s Kellie and Kevin! This week they’re dancing the Jive to One Direction’s One Way Or Another. I’m pretty sure this is a Blondie Song, unless they’re bunging in the Teenage Kicks mashup too. Either way Kelvin have shown themselves to be rather handy with the fancy footwork, so I have high hopes for this.
Scores: 8,9,8,8 - a total of 33 for Jay and Alion. Well I think that was a bit mean.
Craig wanted more menace, but great lines and control, and a great dance. Darcey loved the way Jay holds the shape from start to finish, and Jay has the best male arms from any celebrity. Jay needs more attitude, however, and he needs to carry it through to his face. Len thought the arms were OK, and Jay has gone from strength to strength. Bruno thought it was the BULL’S BOLLOCKS, and the rest of the judges are now crying. Tess has to apologise for Bruno’s language, and looks furious. Never incur the wrath of Tess.
Right, come on Jay – I want a Paso and a half. Well it’s a good start, lots of thrusting and some nice shaping from Jay, and some brilliant footwork. Bags of passion and a commanding lead, and great transitions between sequences. Well that rocked. LOVED that.
In training, Jay plays table tennis with former bandmate Nathan. He was my daughter’s favourite Wanted, I’ve just learned.
It’s time for Jay and Aliona! Tonight they’re dancing the Paso to 90s classic ‘It’s My Life’ by Dr. Alban. Wasn’t that a Tampax advert? Oh hang on, they’re dancing to the Bon Jovi version of a completely different song. How disappointing.
Talking of disappointing, Jay has a lot to prove after last week’s disaaaahster of a Quickstep. Bring it back, Jay.
Scores: 9,9,8,9 - a total of 35 from Helen and Aljaz. Helen makes a noise like a fox stuck in some barbed wire.
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All the judges loved it, even got a FAB-U-LOUS from Craig. Len thought it had a bit of gapping here and there, but right on track. Not much by way of comment from the judges, I think we might be behind schedule. I CAN’T TYPE ANY FASTER THAN THIS.
Too much chasing around at the beginning, but once they get into the dancing it’s pretty nice – lovely top line from Helen and plenty of nifty footwork. Nice skippy sections too, although by the end her grin looks painted on. Enjoyed that.
It’s time for Helen and Aljaz! Tonight they’re dancing the Quickstep to Diana Ross and the Supremes’ ‘You Can’t Hurry Love’. Not sure any of us have recovered from last week’s game of doctors and nurses, to be honest. Helen should be in her element here, lots of toe-pointing.
Scores: 3, 5, 6, 4 – a total of 18 for Jeremy and Karen. SIX, Len? Really?
Len liked the proper technique, but needed a bit more flair – he enjoys watching him, however. Bruno thought Jeremy had a zombified grin, and it was all a bit lifeless – it needed more drive. Craig thought it was shapeless and ploddy, with horrible gapping. The drag lift was like Karen was a log. Darcey thought the smile sold it, it wasn’t bad. No, Darcey, it was REALLY BAD.
No mention of Jeremy being a bit shit for Week 5. Just Ainsley, then.
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Well this is sort of charming, despite horrible gapping and Jeremy’s top line belongs to a shop window mannequin. I’ve just driven a bus between them, but lovely singing by Tommy. What’s the likelihood of anyone mentioning that Jeremy needs to have upped his game by Week 5? If so, I’m finishing the bottle.
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Haha, Elvis Costello just asked Jeremy not to ruin his song. Love it.
Who’s next? It’s Jeremy and Karen! Tonight they’re dancing the Waltz to Elvis Costello’s ‘She’. This is a lovely song, ruined by Notting Hill and now about to be forever cast into the lyrical bin by Strictly. Still not quite over last week’s Jive. Cha cha? Charleston? Hang on, I need to check.
Jive, it was definitely a Jive. In name, if not in action.
Scores: 4, 6, 6, 5 - a total of 21 for Katie and Anton. Does she not get a bonus for dancing latin with Anton, who can’t really dance latin?
Darcey loved the fun and pace, but it was a bit messy in places and needed more hips. MEAN. Len thought it was good, but it needed more shaking of Katie’s assets and it was lacking a bit of control. Bruno thought she was throwing herself around like a wild kitten – it had plenty of intention but needed better timing and execution. Craig thought it lacked proper hip action – a dreadful, dreadful Salsa.
Well I enjoyed it. So there.
Katie looks all kinds of fabulous and is giving it both Salsa barrels and plenty of shimmy. She’s a cracking dancer, arguably better than Anton. Her free arm looks a bit drunk at a wedding, but this has bags of energy and some really nice footwork. Tiny bit more hip action would be lovely and the end is a bit shonky, but enjoyed that very much.
Things I never want to see again: Anton saying “it’s going to be hot and spicy”. DRINK.
It’s time for Katie and Anton! Tonight they’re dancing the Salsa to Michael Buble’s ‘It Had Better Be Tonight’, which is a rather clunky title for a song, if you ask me. Why not “Tonight Would Be Preferable”?
Katie and Anton topped the leaderboard last week with a Viennese sensation, and Anton looked like the happiest man alive. Can Katie activate her limbs for a cheeky Salsa?
Scores: 5,7,7,7 - a total of 26 for Jamelia and Tristan. Jamelia’s all a bit tearful.
Craig loved the beginning but it went a bit wrong after the illegal lift. Her feet were also too far apart, she looked like she’d just jumped off a horse. Darcey loved Jamelia’s top line, but she lost her confidence out of hold. A great improvement in her ballroom, however. Len thought Jamelia got a bit uptight, and she’s more confident with the Latin – a few hiccups along the way, but not all bad. Bruno loved the first half, but it went wrong at the end.
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Wardrobe still hating on Jamelia, horrible frumpy pink number. A bit clunky getting into hold, but then a rather elegant Foxtrot with some nice footwork from Jamelia. She loses her top line towards the end then makes a mistake and it and it all gets a bit stilted, but nice.
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Jamelia’s children! DRINK DRINK DRINK. (last week’s bingo, but it’s carries over).
Next up it’s Jamelia and Tristan! This week they’re dancing the Foxtrot to Celine Dion’s ‘Because You Loved Me’. I rather enjoyed their Charleston last week, the lifts were incredible. Very glad they’re still in, am hoping a solid ballroom outing will put Jamelia back in the game.
Are we nearly there yet? Oh, we’re only half way.
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Scores: 4,6,6,5 - a total of 21 for Ainsley and Natalie. Same as Carol and Pasha.
Bruno thought it had so much shake it nearly curdled – he couldn’t tell the difference between the kicks and flicks, and it was very much Ainsley’s interpretation of the Jive. Craig thought it needed to be more technical at this stage in the game – it was flat-footed and heavy *coughs JEREMY coughs*. Darcey loved the Elvis shaking, and Len thought it was a mix of shake, rattle and roll and Shake ‘n’ Vac. Len thought he needed to be up on his balls more, but fun, plenty of rhythm and good entertainment.
Ainsley is still wearing a chef’s outfit, haven’t we exhausted this by week 5? Despite sticking his bum out and not getting enough lift in his knees, this is all kinds of fabulous – camp, fun, a bit silly and full of joy. My kind of Jive, so sue me.
It’s time for Ainsley and Natalie! This week they’re dancing the Jive to ‘Shake Rattle and Roll’ by Bill Haley and the Comets. I’m anticipating this being as camp as Christmas, and I’m quite looking forward to it.
Scores: 7,7,8,7 - a total of 29 for Kirsty and Brendan.
Brendan looks resigned, he may have to do another week.
Len thought they took too long getting down the stairs, but once they got dancing they pulled it off big time – without doubt their best dance. Bruno thought it had great musicality, and Kirsty was finally at one with the music. Craig thought she was actually dancing, but her left shoulder was coming up (THAT’S what it was) and her hand needs to be softer. Darcey thought it was a wonderful surprise, and great work in sustaining the turns.
Love Kirsty’s dress, not sure about the cob loaf hairdo. They take about a week to walk down the stairs, then finally get into some Waltzing. It’s really not bad at all, but the cameras aren’t bothering to show us Kirsty’s feet so it’s hard to tell. Something’s not quite right about her frame, not sure what it is though. But fabulous turns and all rather lovely.
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It’s time for Kirsty and Brendan! This week they’re dancing the Viennese Waltz to David Gray’s ‘This Year’s Love’. We’ve yet to see Kirsty’s romantic side, but then she gives the impression of being quite angry a lot of the time. Last week their tortured Tango put them in the bottom two, can a bit of Viennese whirling keep them afloat this week?
Scores: 7,7,8,7 - a total of 29 for Peter and Janette.
Darcey thought it was lovely, and Peter showed plenty of care for Janette. It lacked flow, but Peter has plenty to give. Len reminds us that the Rumba is very difficult for male celebs (not in bingo, but DRINK), but there was a bit of stamping on occasion. Bruno loved Peter’s immersion, but the moves were a bit clipped on occasion and needed more continuous motion. Craig thought it lacked pressure through the floor and he moved into Salsa hips, but he loved the way Peter presented Janette through the dance.
Peter is trying to seduce Janette in a dark room, meanwhile she messes with chemicals whilst dressed as Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. There is lots of swaying and intense shaping from Peter, but he loses his balance, his transitions are clunky and there isn’t nearly enough hip action. My loins are cold.
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This week they’re dancing to Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud, which is about to end its reign as ultimate first wedding dance of 2015. Has anyone asked Ed how he feels about Peter getting all down and dirty to one of his most popular songs?
ALERT ALERT PETER ANDRE RUMBA ALARM. PETER ANDRE RUMBA ALARM. TAKE COVER.
And then Gleb spoils it all by doing phone hands. *sigh*
Scores: 8,8,8,8 - a total of 32 for Anital and Gleb. Well deserved.
Craig loved the choreography – full of power and punch, although Anita lost her balance at one point. Darcey liked the Star Trek contemporary feel, and she’s incredibly impressed with Anita’s focus. Len liked it too, Anita gave it plenty of welly, and it had lots of menace and darkness, as well as lots of heel leads. Bruno loved the arrogance of it, and Anita’s disdain and aggression. Also something about Klingons. Is Bruno drunk?
Anita looks entirely fierce and terrifying, and Gleb appears to be wearing leather chaps. It’s a pretty commanding Tango, with great footwork and leg action from Anita. Her topline looks a bit wobbly, but plenty of thrust. Enjoyed that.
Next up it’s Anita and Gleb! This week they’re dancing the Tango to Temper Trap’s ‘Sweet Disposition’. I can’t remember much about their Samba last week, other than Gleb whipping his top off in the Clauditorium, which wasn’t technically part of the dance but probably kept them out of the bottom two.
Scores: 4,6,6,5 - a total of 21 for Carol and Pasha.
Bruno thought it had plenty of content, but Carol needs to sort out her free hand – it had the romance of a cleaning session. Craig calls Bruno nasty – her hands don’t quite finish and her turns are a bit awry, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Darcey thought Carol should be proud of her lack of mistakes, and she should think of her hands breeeeeeeeeathing as they move. Len points out that Carol has had NO DANCE TRAINING WHATSOEVER (are we making this differentiation now, Len?) and it was a very nice Viennese Waltz.
Carol looks glorious in a floaty yellow number, and despite looking entirely terrified this is not the worse Viennese I’ve ever seen. Her top line is a bit stiff and her feet drag a bit, and her free arm looks like a trowel, but the timing isn’t bad and it’s all quite sweet really.
It’s time for Carol and Pasha! Tonight they’re dancing the Viennese Waltz to Seal’s ‘I’ve Been Loving You Too Long’. I think this is how we all feel about Pasha, to be honest. Last week’s Paso was surprisingly not awful, so maybe Carol is on the up.
In training, Pasha takes Carol on spinny rides at a theme park. I’d recommend extra training, to be honest.
Scores: 7,8,8,8 - a total of 31 for Georgia and Giovanni.
Len thought it was great show starter – a terrific disco Salsa full of vim and vigour. She got on the wrong foot on the last lift, but well done. Bruno calls her a gorgeous scrumpet – he loved her hip action but she was a bit stop-start in and out of the lifts. Craig thought Georgia’s legs were a bit uncontrolled, and her preparations into the lifts were poor, but loved the underarm turns. Darcey wanted to join in, and thought the other judges were a bit harsh as the lifts were really hard.
It’s disco Salsa time, with plenty of energy and bounce - Georgia’s footwork is great but the transitions are a bit lazy and there’s way too many nightclub moves for my liking. Loses her frame at the end, but good fun.
First up this week it’s Georgia and Giovanni! This week they’re dancing the Salsa to Sylvester’s ‘You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)’. Their Quickstep last week was fun and bouncy, but I’m glad to see Giovanni has ditched the weird angel feathers. Is anyone else not feeling the partnership between these two? She’s a great dancer, but I can’t get excited.
In training, Georgia calls her mum. Then her whole family turns up wearing sombreros. Okaaay.
Out come the celebs! Anton and Katie appeared to be dressed for a Samba, which is worrying. Everyone else looks rather fabulous, I’m guessing all the crazy outfits are being saved for next week’s HALLOWEEN SPECIAL. First mention! DRINK!
Tess and Claudia Dress Watch: Tess in a hot pink frock, Claudia back in black with fabulous lapels and panda makeup. Well this is more like it – a rare 8/10. Is that Zara Philips/Tindall in the audience?
And we’re off! Last week on Strictly: quite a lot of dancing, much of it very decent indeed. Kirsty and Brendan and Daniel and Kristina ended up in the dance-off, and it was Daniel who headed home to a shonky rendition of Careless Whisper. He didn’t seem that bothered, to be honest.
Twelve couples remain! Pasha’s acting isn’t getting any better, is it?
I love that they’re still trying to make “Doing the Strictly” a thing. Nobody’s doing the Strictly; it requires getting off your sofa, which entirely defeats the object of Strictly.
This week’s Strictly Come Bingo – a swig of your favourite tipple for any occurrence of the following:
• Tess in a dress made of bits left over from other dresses
• Wrist or elbow hankies
• Anton’s jubilant sex face
• Gleb’s chest
• Mentions of next week’s Halloween special
A Strictly question on Pointless - name any celeb or dancer who took place in last year’s show. I’m doing quite well, although I’d entirely forgotten that Thom Evans existed.
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Evening all, and welcome to this week’s Strictly Come Dancing liveblog! We’ve made it to Week 5, which means twelve couples left, one week until Halloween and two weeks until Blackpool. Week 5 is also an indicator that I need to start thinking about Christmas shopping (I’ve been doing this liveblog for a really, really long time), so today I drafted a spreadsheet and decided on this year’s wrapping theme. I am all over it.
Tonight’s show starts at 6.35pm – I’ll be keeping an eye on proceedings from up here, while you fine people spread a little joy and happiness down below. At some point I will be sounding the PETER ANDRE RUMBA alarm, at which point you need to make your way immediately to the space behind your sofa and cover your eyes and ears. When it’s all over I’ll sound the all-clear, which will most likely be the sound of dry heaving. Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT, remain in front of your television.
See you at 6.35!
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