So that’s it for another week! Thank you all for joining in, come back again next week for Halloweeeeen Week, when we’ll do this all again with scary black costumes, spooky noises and excess eye makeup. And that’s just Claudia! Oh never mind.
See you next Saturday! Hx
Iveta returns the favour, until Tess interrupts because we’re running out of time and frankly you’d think she was getting an Oscar. Thom’s final dance is a weird grindy affair that I may need to rewind and watch again.
Damn, he’s leaving just as I was starting to fancy him. Or maybe it was actually his brother.
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So who’s coming back next week? Craig saves Thom and Iveta, as does Darcey. Bruno saves Simon and Kristina, as does Len. Since Len has the casting vote, he saves SIMON AND KRISTINA. No X Factor-style deadlock here, Thom and Iveta are out of here.
Thom makes a heartfelt speech, and is incredibly charming.
Next up, Simon off of Blue, Kristina and in Miss Piggy fancy dress and the singularly worse rendition of Queen that has ever been heard. Even Kristina isn’t spinning as fast as Freddie Mercury right now.
So, lets’ crack on with the dance-off. First up, Thom’s chest and several miles of Iveta’s gravy-tanned legs. Still no sign of Thom’s hips.
This is the first week the dance-off has been difficult to call, either couple could win this.
Meanwhile, up in Claudia’s area, Mark is having a weep. In other news, Judy channels Sharon Stone when she’s dancing. *crosses legs*
Right, who’s in the dance-off with Thom and Iveta? Clearly I already know the answer to this, but let’s just preserve the suspense for a moment longer.
Jake and Janette are safe, along with Frankie and KFG, Alison and Aljaz (who actually jumps up and down), Judy and Anton (O to the M to the G), and Mark and Karen.
Which puts Simon and Kristina in the danceoff, and can I please just take this moment to bask in the warm glow of my prediction from last night being 100% correct?
Straight off the nostalgia circuit, Culture Club are performing Karma Chameleon. Boy George sounds like he needs a Lemsip and a lie down. Jon Moss on drums looks bored out of his mind.
WOO, CULTURE CLUB, EVERYONE!
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Len’s gone off on one, because the wrong couple are in the bottom two, in his opinion. Well yes, if the show is only about dancing talent. But it’s about entertainment too, no? And also let’s not forget that it’s JUST A TV SHOW. So chill your walnuts.
So who is safe to dance next week, and who’s through to next week? Pixie and Trent are safe (obv), along with Steve and Ola, Sunetra and Brendan, Caroline and Pasha and Scott and Joanne *puts tin hat on*
First couple in the bottom two: Thom and Iveta!
Controversial.
In the audience – Babs Windsor and the less famous/better looking Murray son. It’s a stunning and insightful interview all round.
I’m still loving Mark Wright’s Samba, easily my highlight of last night.
Recap of last night: Judy and Frankie both claim to be incredibly excited, whilst doing an impression of two of the least excited people ever.
Dress watch: Tess in a white all-in-one polyester pantsuit nicked off Abba in 1975. Claudia in some kind of industrial safety mesh. Nil points.
And now it’s morphed into “Timber” by Kesha and Pitbull. Drunk karaoke-style.
And we’re off! Does anyone else get annoyed by Mark Wright’s chin stroke/side glance/grin in the opening titles? Oh dear god, it’s a Cotton Eye Joe pro dance. More cheap gingham tablecloths than a roadside cafe. And a man with a lasso!
Matt Baker is inspecting some ancient roman armour on Countryfile. Maybe a thousand years from now a box of Tess’s dresses will be found and similarly puzzled over.
SUNDAY NIGHT RESULTS SHOW UPDATE!
Evening all, and welcome to tonight’s Sunday results show! Really enjoyed last night’s show, feels like this year’s couples are all giving it their all, which is exactly how it should be. Even Claudia’s dress looked less hellish in the cold light of day.
So my bottom two prediction last night was Simon and Kristina and Thom and Iveta, with both Judy and Scott being saved by fans wanting to see what fresh nightmares they can bring to the Halloween special next Saturday.
Unfortunately I already know who’s going out tonight, because somebody took the time to tweet me with a spoiler this morning, putting me in a proper grump for the rest of the day. I know it’s easy to find out if you’re so inclined, but I always prefer a surprise. Suspect I shall have to avoid Twitter on a Sunday in future, but never mind. I shall keep tonight’s liveblog spoiler-free until the result is revealed.
Ready? Let’s smash this thing. Or at least once Countryfile has finished. See you at 7.20!
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So that’s it for tonight’s show! I’ll be back here tomorrow at 7.20pm for the results – thank you to everyone who joined in, feel free to pop by on Twitter @heidistephens and tell me who you think is dancing off into the Strictly sunset tomorrow night.
ALSO, don’t forget to make the most of the extra hour tomorrow. Hey, why not do a bit of Salsa whilst pressure washing your wheelie bins? Oh hang on, that’s my plan. Keeeep dancing etc, and I’ll see you tomorrow!
It’s recap time, and the voting lines are now OPEN. Mark and Karen definitely my favourites tonight – tough call on the bottom two, but I’m going for Simon and Kristina and Thom and Iveta. Have a sneaky feeling both Scott and Judy will make it through to Halloween.
Scores: 8,9,9,9 – a total of 35 for Pixie and Trent, the highest score of the night. Right now Caroline is sticking pins in her Pixie doll.
Darcey loved how Pixie didn’t hold back, and Len was ready to get his maracas out – a proper carnival dance with loads of energy. Bruno thought it was a tutti-frutti, high camp Samba extravaganza. Craig loved the opening shimmies – it was amazing.
Pixie is giving it full Carmen Miranda, and it’s both barrels of crazy Samba, with proper Samba rolls and all the details. But oh dear god the POSING. Less a party dance, more a catwalk Samba showcase. Technically brilliant, but I am unmoved.
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In training, Pixie takes Trent to karaoke in her local pub. Poor Trent.
And FINALLY, it’s Pixie and Trent! After last week’s blessedly raunchless Rumba, tonight they’re dancing the Samba to ‘I Yi Yi Yi Yi’ by Edmundo Ros. Neither Pixie nor Trent look like they’ve ever let their hair down in their lives, so hopefully they’ve both downed a bucket of caipirinhas and are ready to give it some Samba welly.
Scores: 7,8,7,8 – a total of 30 for Steve and Ola.
Craig loved seeing Steve’s gentle, soft side, but he needs to get his thumbs down, and add a bit more swing and sway. Darcey loved the grace and elegance, and he led Ola effortlessly. Len thought the footwork was very good but it was a bit “crunched in” on the pivots. Bruno thought it was a proper, no-gimmick waltz, and he’s got his shoulders under control.
This song which asks considers lots of important questions, such as “I wonder why Ola is dressed like a skin complaint?” It’s a charming waltz, with nice rise and fall from Steve, although his footwork looks a bit heavy. But gorgeous spinning, and all rather romantic. Nice.
Next up it’s Steve and Ola! This week they’re performing the Waltz to ‘I Wonder Why’ by Curtis Stigers. This is a terrible song, which will only be redeemed if Steve can arrange his upper body into something that vaguely resembles a frame, rather than the Incredible Hulk.
Scores: 8,9,8,9 – a total of 34 for Caroline and Pasha, highest score of the night so far. The Trixie twins haven’t danced yet, however.
Bruno loved the passion and drama and Caroline’s dancing has a feline quality. He loved the flamenco moves, a wonderful and powerful performance. Craig agrees, it was full of highlights and he really loved it. Darcey loved the strength and the flamenco arms – so sharp and dynamic. Len thought it had fire and passion, but would have liked a bit more shaping.
Feel like I should have enjoyed that more than I did. But hey ho.
Caroline’s dress is a horrible blueberry and custard peplum affair. It’s a commanding Paso in places, but Caroline seems to lose her balance on occasion, and her head has a tendency to drop. Plenty of energy and thrust, however.
Next up it’s Caroline and Pasha! This week they’re performing the Paso Doble to ‘Live and Let Die’ by Paul McCartney & Wings. It feels like this song has become Paso standard, mostly because of the bit in the middle where you can go beserk with a cape.
This had better not get more than Scott, or I will be phoning in with ALL my phones.
Scores: 3,5,5,5 – a total of 18 for Judy and Anton. Which is one less than Scott and Joanne, so that’s OK.
Len loved how much fun Judy was having, and it’s a joy to watch then both. Bruno thought it started well and then it went awry at the end. Craig was worried about Anton dealing with wooden whores. Eh? Oh, OARS. He liked the polka and swim thing, but there was no swivel and the timing was appalling. But an enjoyable watch. Darcey loved how she got involved in the character, although she got out of rhythm in places.
Judy and Anton are rowing. As in a boat, rather than having a fight. There’s a vague attempt at some Charleston footwork, but oh dear god Judy will you LIFT YOUR FEET UP. Still at least it looks like she’s having a good time, and there’s some lovely quirky Charleston elements where she just has to dance with her face and pretend to flap about while Anton carries her. ENOUGH.
Only four couples left! STOP EVERYTHING, it’s time for a Judy and Anton Charleston! They’re dancing to ‘Varsity Drag’ by Pasadena Roof Orchestra. We shall be awarding points for anything that looks even vaguely like a Charleston, with a bonus if Judy’s feet are more than 6 inches off the floor at any point.
Scores: 7,7,7,7 – a total of 28 for Simon and Kristina.
Darcey thought his posture was a big improvement, but it was a bit skippy. Len didn’t think the performance was overly classy – it was a bit hectic in places. Bruno thought it had elegance and style, but gives him tips for if he has to do it again. I think Bruno’s already got his name down for the dance-off.
Simon is totally rocking tails, whilst Kristina is dressed as Miss Piggy in Pat Butcher earrings. I can’t tell you anything about Simon’s footwork, because there’s too much dry ice. But lots of lovely twirling, despite a topline that’s a bit of a disaster. Also WAY to much grinning for a Viennese waltz.
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In training, Simon takes Kristina to Blue rehearsals. Anthony Costa manages not to wee on her, which is a bonus.
Who’s next? It’s Simon and Kristina! Tonight they’re performing the Viennese Waltz to ‘Somebody to Love’ by Queen. Last week’s Cockney Charleston was a considerable improvement on Week 3’s Rigor Rumba, so hopefully they can bang out a Victorious Viennese.
Scores: 8,9,8,8 – a total of 33 for Mark and Karen, the highest score of the night so far. Beat THAT, Pixie and Trent.
Craig could have done without the vulgar gyration, but the Samba is a really difficult dance for male celebs and he did it brilliantly. Darcey thought Mark’s hips know how to party, brilliant work. Len thought it was his best dance, and Bruno now understands “why Brazilians are popular in Essex”. Great bum action and some lovely Samba touches.
Out comes Mark, giving it his best disco moves. His hips are great, it’s fun and camp and utterly insane, but plenty of very decent Samba and Mark’s having a great time. By no means perfect, but my favourite dance of the night so far. LOVED THAT.
We’re half way through, everyone. Stay strong. Claudia is wearing a sheet and pretending to be a ghost. Tess is unravelling.
Next up it’s Mark and Karen! After last week’s bottom two Quickstep, this week’s performance is the Samba to ‘That’s The Way I Like It’ by KC and the Sunshine Band. Mark seems a lot happier in camptastic party-dance territory, so hopefully this will more up his street.
Scores: 5,6,6,6 – a total of 23 for Alison and Aljaz. At least the scoring seems less insane this week.
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Bruno was intrigued, and loved the effort Alison put into the change of persona. It needed to be sharper, however. Craig thought it lacked drama, it was too soft around the edges and she took forever to get into hold. Darcey thought the transitions needed to be more precise, but she enjoyed the control and the story – a strong, determined performance. Len thought there could have been more staccato, but it did have drama and he enjoyed it.
Are Alison and Tess wearing the same dress? This is a passionate and moody Tango, with some nice control from Alison. Not wearing heels makes her footwork look clunkier than it is, and she loses her topline on occasion. But nice storytelling, enjoyed that.
In training, advice from Lisa Riley. I love them both, totally fabulous.
Who’s next? It’s Alison and Aljaz! Tonight they’re dancing the Tango to ‘Addicted to You’ by Avicii. I don’t feel Alison has quite got her Week 1 mojo back yet, maybe a fierce and feisty tango will bring it back?
Scores: 8,8,8,8 – a total of 32 for Frankie and Kevin.
Len thought Frankie floated across the floor like butter on a hot crumpet. Doesn’t that absorb, rather than flow? Anyway fluid footwork, just needs to work on keeping her upper body away from Kevin. Bruno loved the proper foxtrot content in the middle, but she needs to arch her back more. Craig thought it was wholesome and enchanting, and Darcey agrees, although she needs more extension in her top line.
Frankie’s dress is adorable, as is Kevin. This is saccharine-cutesy, but once you stop vomiting it’s a technically very solid foxtrot. Aww, don’t they look lovely together.
I’ve got nothing left now. I’m just dry heaving.
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It’s time for Frankie and Kevin! This week they’re dancing the Foxtrot to ‘Daydream Believer’ by The Monkees. Last week they did a Cha-Cha to Call Me Maybe, which I just had to look up because I can remember literally nothing about it. Oh yes, Essex dancefloor and acres of smurf-blue tinsel.
Scores: 6,7,7,7 – a total of 27 for Thom and Iveta.
Darcey was worried that Thom wouldn’t warm up into the dance, but he got there eventually with plenty of energy and attack. Len thought his arms and legs lacked conviction, but Thom performed it strongly with lots of hip action (Where? Where?). Bruno is enjoying Thom’s expanding personality, but it looked more like Salsa disco than a Cha-cha. Craig thought it was pigeon-toed, and his leg needs to be straighter. A bit awkward, but good rhythm and grinding.
Iveta’s dress looks like an explosion in a tinsel factory. No sign of Thom’s hips so far, but his chest is out and his bum is stuck out for England. Bit laboured for a Cha-cha, but I’ve seen worse.
UPDATE: Twitter has reminded me that Thom is Scottish. Sorry, Scotland. You can have his bum instead.
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Next up it’s Thom and Iveta! Tonight they’re dancing the Cha Cha to ‘It’s My Party’ by Jessie J. It’s Week 5, will Thom’s party hips make an appearance? I’m not holding my breath, but you never know.
In the VT, Iveta goes round to meet Thom’s brother. If they’re not twins, they’re very alike. Goodness, I’m having a moment.
Scores: 4,5,5,5 – a total of 19 for Scott and Joanne, which is 4 better than last week. Scott wants to do Halloween, and I think we should all make this happen.
Craig says there was no attempt at a swivel, Scott’s feet never came together and a 3-year-old could have done it better, but he put some personality into it and it was quirky, so his best dance yet. Darcey thought Scott weirdly pulled it off. Len loves how Scott comes out every weeks and gives it his all. Bruno thought his dance skills were unique and indefinable. Scott made him laugh and cry, what more do you want? Well, quite.
Right come on Scott, do your fans proud. Well it’s fun and quirky, isn’t it? And Scott’s timing really isn’t bad, apart from when he tries to stamp his feet in time to the drum, which doesn’t really work. It just lacks…Charleston, and is a bit clumpy. But I’m smiling, and I’ll probably watch it again later. Odd, but weirdly enjoyed it.
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Next up it’s Scott and Joanne! Tonight they’re dancing the Charleston to ‘Flash Bang Wallop’ by Tommy Steele. Because if you can’t dance, you might as well give it a bit of nudge-wink cheeky geezer and hope for the best.
Hey, it worked for Simon and Kristina last week.
Scores: 7,7,8,8 – a total of 30 for Sunetra and Brendan.
Bruno loved the content, but Sunetra’s shoulders have a tendency to rise. Craig loved the double spin, but she does look down when she’s turning and her lines need extending a little, but beautiful. Darcey thought Sunetra looked graceful in hold, but she loses her line on occasion. Len thought it was terrific – Sunetra kept her poise and posture throughout.
Sunetra is wearing a sparkly turd-coloured feathery trumpet, which is a lot nicer than I’ve made it sound. It’s a charming Viennese, with nice footwork from Sunetra, although she loses her top line on occasion and it feels a bit stiff. Lovely arms as always, however. Enjoyed that.
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Next up it’s Sunetra and Brendan! Tonight they’re dancing the Viennese Waltz to ‘Anyone Who Had a Heart’ by Cilla Black, hopefully sung by someone who can sing a good deal better than Cilla Black, although this is by no means guaranteed. I quite enjoyed their wet bongo Salsa last week, Sunetra looked like she was having a ball.
Scores: 7,8,8,8 – a very solid kick-off with 31 for Jake and Janette.
Len thought the footwork was good (just me then), but he lost his hold at one point. However Jake has set the bar high. Bruno liked the body contact, and he attacked the dance with plenty of energy, but could have been more sophisticated. Craig thought Jake’s frame was a bit loose and his right leg turns out sometimes. Woo, I noticed that too! Darcey (hair watch: 80s Meg Ryan flicky), thought…actually I’ve no idea, too busy looking at the hair.
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I’m starting to fancy Jake a little bit, which is unexpected. The band seem to be singing a speeded up version of I’m Still Standing, and it’s horrible.
Nice skippy footwork from Jake, and some lovely kicks. It gets a bit knees up mother brown at one point, and his feet seem a bit heavy. Not sure about the spin at the end either, do we do spinning in the Quickstep? Still, suitably bouncy.
Right, let’s get on with some dancing. First up it’s Jake and Janette! This week they’re dancing the Quickstep to ‘I’m Still Standing’ by Elton John. Jake’s footwork has proven pretty nifty thus far, but he seems happier doing his own thing out of hold. Can he do quickstep precision, and remain standing throughout?
Dear lord, what IS Pixie wearing?
Out come the judges, with Craig spinning excessively. Yes, we know you used to be a dancer, Craig. No need to get all up in my grill about it.
Out come Tess and Clauds! Dress watch: Tess in rather fabulous scarlet, Tess in a black satin batsuit-cum-coffin-lining with wings. It’s horrific. Tess could have turned up in a peplum binbag and I’d still have given her the points.
Ooh, that crept up on me, it’s started! We kick off with a entirely pointless Grange Hill-themed VT. Apparently a mortar board denotes a teacher in Strictly world. Okaaay then.
Pointless update: Julia (radio presenter, no idea) wasn’t sure Azerbaijan was actually a proper county. Clearly not a Eurovision fan.
John Sergeant on Pointless. Am having horrible Paso flashbacks. Ooh, AND Kelvin Mackenzie. My, Pointless, how you spoil us.
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Good evening, and welcome to the Strictly Come Dancing Week 5 liveblog! Last week Tim “Bargain Hunt” Wonnacott and Natalie “What have I done to deserve this?” Lowe pranced their final Paso, making them the third couple to leave the Strictly dancefloor. No really, only the third. This series feels like it’s been going on for years, yet somehow we still have 12 couples remaining. Are they reproducing? Are extra couples sneaking in through the back door? Maybe we need an Apprentice-style double firing to move things along a bit.
I’ll be here from 6.30pm to keep an eye on dancefloor proceedings, hopefully with your much-appreciated assistance in the comment box below. There are TWO Charlestons to look forward to tonight, and what a feast for the senses it’s going to be – one from Judy and Anton, and another from Scott and Joanne. Bring both your eyes, it’s going to be AMAZING*.
See you at 6.30!
*terrible, yet also amazing. Maybe bring a cushion to hide behind.
