Perhaps in years to come it will be a role like Andy Warhol or Richard Nixon, a role steeped in postmodern comedy and irony, a huge vaudeville turn for an actor to show a dark kind of flair. But as Donald J Trump approaches his date with destiny, actors are increasingly drawn to this extraordinary character: the hair, the hands, the hair, the suit, the hair, the voice, the hair, the tie, the hair. So let’s assess in strictly alphabetical order the respective merits of six thespians who have, in recent months, “given” their Trump, with marks out of five given.
Anthony Atamaniuk
Atamaniuk plays Trump, usually in a comedy double-act with James Adomian playing the ursine and roaring Bernie Sanders. Quite shrewd, but perhaps it depends on the chemistry with the bizarro Bernie for its full impact.
Trumpersonator score – Hair: 2/5. Weirdly, this looks like a pretty full mane, and quite flattering to Trump.
Hands: 3 Reasonable hand work; Atamaniuk gets his pseudo-reasonable gesticulation and the “fanning” movement. But they’re too large.
Suit: 2. Atamaniuk could work more on the way the spreading waist forbids the doing up of the jacket button.
Voice: 3. Good steady vocal work. Total: 10/20.
Johnny Depp
Depp played the early 80s-vintage Trump in a 50-minute special for Adam McKay’s Funny Or Die web channel. It was about Trump’s ascent to property-mogul greatness. This is the younger, more focused, more physically and vocally compact Trump: slightly less rangy and less mad — although quite mad, obviously.
Hair: 3/5. The quiff is reasonably in control, and makes the face look interestingly cubic.
Hands: 4. Very good: pleasingly psychopathic hand movements. Still too large however.
Suit: 2. Actually, the suit isn’t that exciting.
Voice: 4. The strange nasal voice is effective, although it might have incorporated some of Depp’s own drowsy drawl. Total: 13/20.
Bob DiBuono
DiBuono is a New York standup comic who makes many appearances in the persona of the Republican presidential candidate.
Hair: 1/5. Bob rarely if ever goes for the full hair, and repeatedly covers the quiff with the Donald Trump peaked hat. It’s a bold performative move.
Hands: 2. Some Mr-Burns-style fingertip-touching and vague gesticulating but his Trump handwork is nothing to write home about. Also his hands are too large.
Suit: 2. The basic Donald suit.
Voice: 5. Now this is incredible. If anyone has nailed Trump’s voice it’s Bob DiBuono. The accent is growly, hostile, malevolent and disagreeable. It could be Donald in the room with you. Total: 10/20.
Jimmy Fallon
SNL star Jimmy Fallon is a master of the Donald Trump performance, screwing up his eyes and giving Trump a kind of Clint Eastwood-ish impression of suppressed rage and muted contempt.
Hair: 3. To be honest, the hair is a little flat. It’s well-groomed, but like many people who have portrayed Trump, it actually flatters him a bit.
Hands: 2. The hands are too large.
Suit: 3. Well-groomed, but again — a little too well-groomed.
Voice: 4. Very good, a little nasal, but great for delivering a very high quality stream of gags. Total: 12/20.
Darrell Hammond
Veteran SNL man Hammond has portrayed Bill Clinton and his husky Trump voice is in fact not too dissimilar from Bill’s. But he’s a solid Trumpersonator.
Hair: 2/5. Very flat. It almost looks the way it looked in the 1980s.
Hands: 1. The hands really are way too large.
Suit: 2. Tailored. Waisted. Again: too flattering.
Voice: 3. It’s a good, capable Trump voice, with the right lazy quiver of dismissive contempt. Total: 8/20.
Meryl Streep
A glorious Trump performance at the 2016 Public Theater Gala at New York’s Delacorte theatre, bringing out the essential belligerence of the man.
Hair: 4. Meryl creates a surreally exaggerated quiff, with a rocker-ish extension at the back and a kind of thatched-roof overhang at the front. The dye has clearly spread all over the face.
Hands: 4. The hands are very nearly the right size.
Suit: 4. Fabulous. The only Trump performance which nails the ill-fitting bulge at the front and the way the tie is too long.
Voice: 3. Not bad: but considering Meryl’s mastery of accents, the Donald voice could have been a little better — though she was singing. Total: 15/20.
