Less an action movie, more a direct breach of the Geneva conventions, Stratton is a wannabe Bond knock-off with water on the brain. Dominic Cooper stars as John Stratton, member of an elite band of commandos called the Special Boat Service. Their skills involve causing international incidents, exchanging casual banter while wearing wetsuits and holding their breath for a really long time.
The acting is chiselled and stubbly – most of the characters look as if they are more interested in launching their own range of personal grooming products than in the weapon of mass uninterest that is the plot. Two performances stand out: Derek Jacobi is utterly bizarre as a salty sea dog who lives on a Thames barge and quotes limericks and Connie Nielsen is staggeringly bad as Stratton’s boss. She sounds like a drunk person trying to do a posh accent to get out of being breathalysed. A career low.
