Question #12 of GOBankingRates’ Top 100 Money Experts Series
How do I choose the best budgeting method for my lifestyle?
The sound of the mail coming through the slot makes you want to hide under the couch, because you know that somewhere in that pile of catalogs and letters are the ticking time bombs of bills.
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You don’t even want to check your email anymore, because past-due notices are chasing you online. Taking stock of your debts and money woes feels like the financial equivalent of doomscrolling.
Kumiko Love understands your pain. Before she founded The Budget Mom and created the Budget by Paycheck® Method and the Live Rich Planner®, this accredited financial counselor once had to charge an ice cream cone for her son.
“I financed a $1.09 ice cream cone. That moment hit me like a wall. The fear, the shame, the constant stress of never knowing what was actually going on with my money — it all came crashing down,” she said. “That was the moment I knew things had to change. Not later. Not when things felt easier. Right then. It wasn’t just about the money. It was about finally creating stability — for me, and for him.”
That moment inspired her to develop a powerful, personalized approach to budgeting that is helping people like her — and like you — create a workable budget and, more importantly, stick to it.
The Real Reason You Can’t Stick to a Budget
You can start with the best spreadsheet, the trendiest budgeting app or even a pile of color-coded cash envelopes — and still fall off your plan. According to Love, the real reason most people can’t stick to a budget has nothing to do with math and everything to do with emotion.
“People don’t just spend because they’re bad at math — they spend because they’re stressed, triggered, exhausted or trying to avoid something deeper,” Love said. “Traditional budgeting tools don’t usually address things like financial trauma, fear of scarcity or impulsive spending as a coping mechanism. If your budget doesn’t acknowledge why you spend, it’s going to feel like punishment instead of support.”
Identifying these emotional drivers can help you find your “why” — the motivation to keep going even when things get tough. For Love, charging that ice cream cone was a wake-up call. Realizing she didn’t trust her checking account to cover $1.09 was scary, but she leaned into that fear as a powerful motivator.
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Choose a Method That Matches Your Life
If you’ve scrolled through TikTok or listened to talk radio, you’ve probably heard a wide range of budgeting advice. But a lot of it feels overly restrictive or simply doesn’t match your lifestyle. Worse, you feel punished for spending on anything that isn’t a necessity. For Love, the best budgeting method is the one that feels realistic — not some draconian way of logging money in and out.
“There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to managing your money — and you don’t need to force yourself into a rigid system that doesn’t reflect your actual life,” she said. “My advice? Start by asking yourself how you naturally spend and think about money. Do you like using cash? Are you more digital? Do you get paid biweekly or irregularly? Your budgeting method should work with your habits, not against them.”
Love’s inspiration in creating the Budget by Paycheck Method came from her own experience as a single mom. She got paid twice a month, so she needed an approach that matched both her income schedule and her daily spending patterns. To find that approach for yourself, she encourages you to sit down and list your income and expenses. Whether you’re using a spreadsheet, an app or the back of an envelope, the goal is to make your money easier to see and understand.
Make Sure Your Plan Works in the Real World
Once you’ve unpacked your emotional baggage around money and found your inspiration, it’s time to make sure that your budget holds up in real life. Love said a huge reason many people fall off their budgeting plan is that it’s simply not built to accommodate their everyday life.
“Life is messy, and if your budget doesn’t flex with the unexpected — surprise vet bills, burnout takeout, back-to-school chaos — it’s going to break,” she said. “A good budget supports your real life, not the ‘perfect’ version of it.”
She wants you to ask yourself if you feel in control of your money, or if you’re confused and stressed by it. Are you paying your bills, staying mindful of spending, and making progress toward your goals — even slowly? If so, your budget is doing its job.
But if you’re still feeling guilt or shame every time you spend, your expenses regularly exceed your income, or you’ve stopped using your budget altogether, something isn’t clicking.
“The truth is, you can love your budget. You can feel empowered by it,” Love said. “If your current method feels like a chore, it might just be the wrong fit — not a failure on your part. Give yourself permission to change it up until it finally feels like yours.”
Bottom Line
If Kumiko Love can turn one of the most uncomfortable financial moments of her life into the foundation for lasting security, you can also build a budget that works for you, too. Being honest about your needs — and transparent about your emotions — can help you create a budget that’s not only realistic, but also sustainable.
This article is part of GOBankingRates’ Top 100 Money Experts series, where we spotlight expert answers to the biggest financial questions Americans are asking. Got a question of your own? You could win $500 just for asking — learn more at GOBankingRates.com.
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: Still Can’t Stick to a Budget? A Financial Educator Shares the Real Reason — and How To Fix It
