Steven MacLean wishes he could bottle that feeling you get after lifting a trophy.
The celebrations, the jubilation, the sense of achievement – and getting to do it with a team of your pals.
He has felt it twice in his career after Scottish Cup wins at Rangers and St Johnstone.
MacLean, who scored for Saints in the 2014 final against Dundee United, still treasures those memories and finds it difficult to explain to young players just how special they were.
On the flip side, being on the end of semi-final or final defeats?
Well, that just doesn’t bear thinking about.
The pain and dejection of getting so close, only to miss out, is as harrowing as it gets for any footballer.
That’s how the Hearts striker felt in the Hampden dressing-room in May after their Scottish Cup Final loss to Celtic.
The Jambos had led after an hour before Odsonne Edouard took over and shot their dreams to pieces.
MacLean never wants to experience the emotions that followed at full-time.
And he’s hoping that’s what drives Hearts on to a victory over Rangers in their Betfred Cup semi-final this afternoon.
The 37-year-old said: “I take a lot of pride in my two winner’s medals.
“When you think of the day you had, the day after, the dressing-room before the game and the celebrations later on – it’s a great feeling.
“Especially when you’ve won it with a group of your mates, it’s fantastic. It’s hard to explain how good it is, what it’s all about.
“But you can’t buy it and they don’t come along often in your career. Then you have the disappointment we felt after the Scottish Cup Final last season. There are still a good few of the boys here from that day.
“When you’re in the dressing-room at Hampden and you’ve played so well, come so close, you just feel it bad.
“It was gutting. We don’t want to have that feeling again.”
MacLean will treat this semi-final like every other before it – as if it’s his last.
After lifting silverware as a kid at Ibrox, when he was part of their 2003 Treble- winning squad, he’d have been forgiven for thinking it was the norm.
But it was a decade before his next one, with Saints in 2014, so MacLean will never take anything for granted. He said: “This could be my last semi.
“You have to think like that because you never know if these occasions will come round again.
“I was at Sheffield Wednesday years ago and we won a play-off final but, realistically, you’re never going to win an FA Cup there.
“It was the same when I was at Cardiff – even though they got to a final when I left.
“You always think it’s going to be the big teams.
“Moving back to Scotland gives you more of a chance but it’s still a hard thing to win a cup.
“A lot of people go through their careers and don’t get a winner’s medal. So it’s important to enjoy these occasions.
“But then you can’t enjoy them too much – because it’s all about winning, no matter what it takes.
“When you retire you can look back on them but on the day you have to be focused on winning.
“Against Rangers we need to concentrate on our roles and what needs to be done to win.”
When MacLean won the Scottish Cup with St Johnstone, they weren’t fancied against favourites Dundee United.
Tommy Wright’s side defied the odds and the Jambos need to do likewise facing Rangers.
MacLean says that will suit the Tynecastle club and pointed out they gave Gers a fright in a 1-1 league draw a fortnight ago.
He said: “Rangers are a quality side but we showed in that game we can cause them problems.
“The pressure’s all on Rangers. And we’re not just going to turn up and roll over.
“We have belief in ourselves and think we can win the match.
“They will have the majority of the crowd but we can use that against them, by quieting the fans and sticking to a game plan.
“You see it at Ibrox sometimes – if the fans are frustrated they can get on their team’s back.
“We will try to frustrate Rangers at Hampden and use the underdog tag to our advantage.
“We know not many folk will be giving us a chance but hopefully we can unsettle them and take our chances when they come along.
“Only the Hearts players and our fans will think we can do it. The rest of the country won’t give us any hope.
“I’ve read stuff already where people have written off the Edinburgh clubs. We’ll use that too, to prove the doubters wrong.”
