Steve Smith marked his temporary return as Australia's Ashes captain with a bizarre attack on former England spinner Monty Panesar.
Panesar recently called on travelling fans and media to barrack Smith over his role in the 'Sandpapergate' ball-tampering scandal seven years ago, saying he should be made to feel "guilty" about standing in as Pat Cummins' replacement skipper.
Rather than let those comments pass, Smith took a curious tangent at his press conference on the eve of the first Test in Perth.
In what appeared to be a well-rehearsed response, Smith moved to discredit Panesar's opinion with a detailed reference to a gaffe-ridden appearance on Celebrity Mastermind in 2019.
Panesar, who last year flirted with the idea of standing as an MP for George Galloway's Workers Party of Britain, went viral for a sequence of illogical answers during a general knowledge grilling by presenter John Humphrys.
"I'm going to go off topic here, who in the room has seen Mastermind, and Monty Panesar on that? Any of you?" he said before referencing some specific answers from the clip.
"Those of you that have will understand where I'm coming from. If you haven't, do yourself a favour because it is pretty comical. Anyone that believes that Athens is in Germany, that's a start, or that Oliver Twist is a season of the year and America is a city.
"It doesn't really bother me, those comments. That's as far as I'll go with that one."
Monty Panesar said England should reignite Sandpaper-gate during the Ashes...
— Herald Sun Sport (@heraldsunsport) November 20, 2025
Steve Smith came prepared. 😂 pic.twitter.com/Kspp5nuBXv
Smith's unexpected diatribe drew laughs from the room but going hard at a retired player who last played Test cricket in 2013 suggests Panesar may have succeeded in getting under the skin of a batter who will be key to Australia's Ashes success.
As well as picking a fight with Panesar, Smith confirmed an Australia XI with two 31-year-old debutants included.
As expected, South Australia seamer Brendan Doggett has edged Michael Neser as Josh Hazlewood's replacement, while Jake Weatherald steps up as opener.
With Marnus Labuschagne returning at number three, there is no place for all-rounder Beau Webster, who can count himself unlucky after enjoying a bright start to his Baggy Greens career.
"It was very tricky," Smith admitted.
"I think Beau came into international cricket and lit it up immediately, so I think it's a really tough one on him. He's the one that misses out unfortunately.
"But I think with Marnus, when he's batting at his best at number three, it makes us a very, very good cricket side. We couldn't really leave him out. When he's batting, well, it's tough to leave him out."
