Steve Coppell

"Premiership football, the final frontier," intones Ryan Coutant from behind a particularly thick-rimmed pair of spectacles. "These are the voyages of the starship Madejski. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new football grounds. To seek out a respectable league position yet avoid Uefa Cup football. To boldly go where Wigan went last season." Photograph: Ryan Coutant

Pak Charoenkul catches Coppell preparing next season's Carling Cup squad. Photograph: Pak Charoenkul

"Steve was amazed that nobody had figured out the secret of his management success," chortles Chris McMillan, doffing his cap to old Saturday Night Live favourite Coneheads. We think. Photograph: Chris McMillan

John Barry knows where Steve's been practicing his new formations. Photograph: John Barry

Michael Kilpatrick admits he couldn't really think of anything to say about our hero other than that he's quite quiet. Photograph: Michael Kilpatrick

"After another excellent season, Mr Madejski rewarded Steve with a visit to his own personal hair consultant," sniggers Roy Ward. Photograph: Roy Ward

"The pragmatic, expressionless Coppell was the perfect muse for Anthony Gormley's new installation," reckons Mike Gershon. Photograph: Mike Gershon

John O'Reilly takes us through the evolution of a football manager. Photograph: John-O'Reilly

"Steve Coppell looks like, talks like, acts like and in fact actually is Bono," insists Adam Leier. "That's why everyone likes him so much." Photograph: Adam Leier

"Previously thought of as a minor character, this figure's value is rocketing since the addition of the Premier League Manager of the Year medal," opines Thomas Thompson from the bottom of a pile of priceless collectibles. Photograph: Thomas Thompson

"More great 1-on-1 management skills from Steve The Royal 'Coppellator'," says Vina Paddy, leaving us none the wiser as to what this picture is actually supposed to mean. Photograph: Vina Paddy