Steve Bell's Labour conference diary

We are staying in a magnificent pile called the Palace hotel in the middle of Manchester. It has a 217ft tall tower with a glowing red neon sign on all four sides to act as a beacon for pissed-up politicians and journalists returning late at night Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008

The conference hall itself is inside another splendid structure, the old Midland Railway Manchester Central station, now called Manchester Central conference centre, cavernous and curtained off with miles of black drapery and glowing red lights. One is put in mind of a funeral in a giant house of ill-repute. The equality debate is under way and Harriet Harman is at the podium, resplendent in pale giraffe-patterned top Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008

The proceedings are very low key, though it is good to say, in these days of planetary meltdown, that they have recycled last year's set. James Purnell, the work and pensions secretary and super-Blairite, delivers a remarkably unexciting speech. Buried in his rather pixie-like features I detect an incipient mad left eye Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008

He looks rather grumpy as the government is berated by speakers from the floor for its closing down of Remploy Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008

In the seats to the left of the stage reserved for MPs and NEC members, a face from the past, Dennis Skinner, looks on grimly Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008

I turn my attention back to the stage and suddenly, without warning, Purnell has been transformed into an amazing cross between Lurch and Herman Munster. It is Stephen Timms, minister of state in Purnell's department Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008

I start to wonder: how can I have missed a politician with such supremely cartoonable features, and who has been in and around the cabinet for a very long time? I have no answer but I hope to see more of him in future Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008

Sunday evening and I attend a gathering organised by the European parliamentary Labour party as a warm tribute to Glenys Kinnock, who is standing down as an MEP next year. The Browns are there, and it is my first sight of Gordon this conference. After Glenys’s speech, Gordon and his entourage exit the room. As he walks past I am struck by the way, from his default gloomy expression, he constantly flashes his rictus grin at people, like a doomed and slightly out of control belisha beacon Photograph: Copyright © Steve Bell 2008